Help Me, Protect Me
by RKOBlueEyes
Summary: After leaving a club one night, a WWE Diva's life is forever changed. Can a guy she's hardly ever talked to save her from her nightmare? CHAPTER 11 POSTED! RandyLita, others.
1. A Living Nightmare

**A Living Nightmare**

It had been two months. Two months, four days, eight hours, twenty-seven minutes, and forty-three seconds of pure hell. Only two months ago she had been dancing with a margarita in her hand at one of the hottest clubs in all of Boston. Only two months before she had been laughing with two of her best friends. Only two months before her life had come completely crashing down around her. As she looked in the mirror at the person she now was, she wondered how things could have possibly gone so wrong so quickly. She had been happy. Her career was starting to take off…she was becoming one of the most popular divas in the organization. People were finally starting to notice that, yeah, maybe she really was one of the best at what she did. And then it all came crashing down – in one night her life would be forever changed.

_Flashback_

"Guys – I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel. It's getting late and I want to get to the arena pretty early tomorrow."

"Oh come on! Don't go yet – it isn't even midnight. At least stay for two more songs. PLEASE?" yelled her friends.

"Fine! Two more songs, but then I really am going to leave."

She smiled at her friends as they grabbed her hand and led her out onto the dance floor. The bass was pumping and she could feel her heart beating in her ears. As the second song came to an end, she waved to her friends and yelled over the music that she would see them back at the hotel. Grabbing her coat, she exited the club and began to walk the short distance back to the hotel.

Suddenly, she felt a hand pulling her backwards. She tried to catch her balance, but whoever had grabbed hold of her would not let go and she slowly began to fall towards the ground. But that did not stop him – he simply continued to drag her towards the darkened ally. She began to frantically look around at her surroundings as a scream rose into her throat. By this time, she was kicking and punching him the best she could in her current position. But he didn't even seem to notice. He just kept walking towards his desired destination – her living nightmare, her hell on earth. When he had finally reached his destination, he pulled her back onto her feet and looked into her eyes.

"You scream, you die." Tears formed in her eyes as she noticed the knife he held in his other hand. Beginning to shake uncontrollably, she looked with pleading eyes at her attacker. But she saw no feeling, only hatred, contempt, and emptiness. As he slowly trailed the knife down the front of her blouse, cutting away the buttons, she knew what was going to happen and she also knew that backed into a corner, surround by boxes and a trash dumpster, she had no real way of escaping.

"Please…" she whispered, "Please don't rape me."

He simply gazed at her with absolutely no human emotion registering on his face.

The tears finally started to fall as he pushed her down onto the cold hard ground, hiking her skirt up around her waist. Glaring down at her, he held the knife menacingly in her face, using that very same hand to cover her mouth and muffle her cries. With his other hand, he ripped her panties from her body, then moved his hand to grasp her wrists and hold them above her head. Giving her a sickening smile, he began to make her nightmare a reality…

_End of Flashback_

Now, two months later, she stood in another hotel room, in another city, and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes, eyes that used to be so alive with passion and caring and desire, but now seemed dead. She rarely slept more than two or three hours a night, usually waking up in a cold sweat hearing his words over and over again in her head. Her friends had noticed the change in her too, and of course had asked if everything was all right. Not wanting to, no that wasn't right – she had wanted to tell them, but she couldn't. Not being able to face the truth of what had happened to her, kept her from telling her secret. She had even stopped rooming with them on the road, not being able to take their questioning stares or identical expressions of worry. She was alone – completely and totally alone. Shaking her head, she turned and walked out of the bathroom, grabbed her jacket and her duffel bag before carefully opening the door to her hotel room. She looked around the empty hallway as she always did before bolting towards the elevator. Pressing the down button repeatedly, she scanned the area always watching, always waiting. But no one was there, and eventually the elevator doors opened and she stepped in heaving a sigh of relief.

_Later that Night…_

After quickly walking from her rental car into the arena, she made a beeline for her locker room. Stepping inside, she immediately turned and locked the door, finally able to breath normally again. It was the same everywhere she went – fear and terror gripped her soul and she could never escape it. She sat down on the couch, closed her eyes, and tried to focus her attention on her work. She began thinking about her match tonight against Molly Holly, mentally going through the different moves in her head, until she was suddenly interrupted by a knock on her door.

"Who's there?" she cautiously asked.

"It's just me, Stacy!"

"Hey Stace. Did you just get here?" she asked as she opened to the door to let in her friend.

"Yeah, a few minutes ago. Hey – are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I'm fine. I had a bit of a stomach bug the last couple of days. _Any excuse just so she doesn't ask me anymore questions!_ But I'm fine now. So – what's on schedule for you tonight?" she asked her friend as they made there way to the couch.

"Not much. A short promo and that's about it. A bunch of us are planning on going out tonight though. There's this new club that just opened a few blocks from the hotel. Come out with us – you haven't been dancing months. I promise it'll be fun!" exclaimed Stacy.

"Oh, um, uh, no, sorry, I-I can't. I, uh, have a bunch of stuff I need to do tonight. Thanks for asking though Stace. I have to finish getting ready for my match, okay?" she stammered.

"Uhhh, sure. Okay – listen, you're sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine! I just have a lot on my mind right now, least of which is my match against Molly tonight."

Stacy just shook her head sadly and stood up to leave the locker room. She knew something hadn't been right with her friend for a couple of months now, but she didn't know exactly what had happened. All she knew was that she was worried, and there was nothing she could do to make it better.

She smiled as she walked back up the ramp, having just left Molly Holly laid out in the ring – flat on her back. As soon as she got backstage, her smile quickly became a frown and, without so much as glancing at the hustle and bustle going on around her, she made her way back to her locker room. She knew she had to stick around until the end of HEAT, so she quickly showered and changed and then stood fidgeting around in the center of her locker room. One eye warily watched the monitor, while the other kept watch as the seconds ticked by on the clock. When it was finally 8:30, she grabbed her duffel bag and made a run for the parking lot. Reaching her car, she hopped in, immediately locking the doors and quickly scanning the parking lot. Putting the key in the ignition, the car just made a clicking noise, before going silent. Cursing, she tried again, and again, panic starting to rise. Tears were starting to form in her eyes as she pulled the key out of the ignition and put her head down on the steering wheel, beginning to cry. Trying to get control of herself, she unlocked her car door and took off running across the parking lot back towards the arena.

Suddenly, she crashed into something hard and felt herself falling backwards.

"Hey…are you okay?" asked a deep voice.

She looked up and almost smiled at the person standing in front of her, but then the panic took hold again, the tears welling in her eyes. She needed to get back to the arena, back to her locker room, back to where it was safe, but she seemed paralyzed by her fear.

He noticed her irregular breathing and the tears that were starting to trickle down her cheeks. He noticed the panicked look in her eyes and how they kept darting back and forth as if she was looking for something. He stooped down to where she still sat on the ground and took one of her hands. It was ice cold and trembling. He didn't know what was wrong with her, but he did know that he wanted to, for whatever reason, help her. Grabbing her duffel bag, which had landed near his feet when she fell, he slung it over his shoulder before picking her up in his arms and carrying her towards his car. He kept waiting for her to say something, to protest, to slap him, to anything. But she didn't. Instead she just stared blankly ahead, listening to the sound of her own heartbeat roaring in her ears, just wanting this nightmare to end. Finally reaching his car, he placed her feet gently on the ground hoping she would be able to stand, as he threw their bags into the backseat. He carefully led her to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. At this point, she finally looked up at him, but didn't seem to register who he was or that he was trying to help her. He gently helped her into the seat and placed the seatbelt around her waist. Closing the door, he made his way around to the driver's side, all the while wondering what was wrong.

_At the Hotel…_

Parking the car, he looked over at her, still sitting silently next him. She hadn't spoken a single word on the ride from the arena, and had just continued to stare blankly ahead. Unhooking her seatbelt from her waist, his hand brushed against her arm. This seemed to spark some sort of recognition, as she slowly turned her head towards him with a look of terror on her face. As her face contorted with pain, sobs began to rack her body. For a moment, he was terrified, but then maybe this was better than the blank vacant stare she had worn the entire car ride. Opening his door, he rushed around to her side of the car and quickly opened the door. He gently put his hand around her waist, and pulled her from the car. Before he knew what was happening, she had wrapped her arms around his waist and was holding on for dear life. Harsh sobs racked her body as she buried her face against his chest. He was taken aback, but he slowly began to stroke her hair.

"Umm, maybe we should go inside. I, uh…" Helplessly, he ran his hand up and down her back – anything to get her to stop crying. Finally, he felt her body stop shaking and her breathing becoming more regular.

"Stand right here. I'm going to get our bags from the backseat," he said in a worried voice as he gently leaned her against the side of the car. She just nodded, but didn't really seem to register what he was saying.

Grabbing their bags, he slammed the car door and pressed the lock button. Ever so carefully, he once again scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the hotel, making his way quickly over to the elevator and then waiting, for what seemed like an endless amount of time, before the doors finally opened.

"Uh, what floor are you on? I'll bring you to your hotel room," he asked. When he got no answer, not that she had said two words to him this whole time, he looked down and noticed that she had fallen asleep in his arms. Sighing, he got off the elevator and walked to his hotel room. Opening the door, he carefully positioned himself, so he could hold the door open and at the same time, get into his hotel room without waking her. Walking over to one of the beds, he gently laid her down on the comforter. Grabbing a blanket from the closet, he placed it over her. He stood there staring down at her for a minute before moving to place their bags in the corner of the room. He suddenly realized how tired he was as his entire body began to register the punishment he had taken in the ring earlier that night and then the stress he had felt afterwards. Taking a pair of track pants and a t-shirt out of his suitcase, he made his way into the bathroom to change. Coming back out, he once again stood looking at the woman asleep in the bed next to his. Gently pushing a strand of hair away from her face and pulling the blanket more tightly around her, he whispered softly to himself, "I don't know what happened to you and I don't know why I feel this need to protect you, but I will. I promise you…Lita." And with that, Randy Orton climbed into bed and turned on his side so he could watch her sleep.


	2. Breakdowns and New Friendships

**Break Downs and New Friendships…**

The scream was so piercing, Randy was on his feet before he even knew he was awake. He watched as Lita sat straight up in the bed, panting and staring, wild-eyed, around the room. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he took her in his arms, but immediately let go when she stiffened at his touch. She looked at him with fear and panic in her eyes and throwing the blanket off her, she jumped up from the bed and ran out of the hotel room.

Randy was so taken aback, he couldn't immediately react. After a brief moment, he regained his composure and, grabbing her duffle bag from its spot on the floor, ran out of the room after Lita. He caught up to her as she was fighting to unlock her hotel room door. Randy watched as she kept putting the card into the lock, taking it out, and putting it back in. She was getting frustrated and kept running her hand through her bright red hair. Finally, after one last attempt, she turned and slid down the wall burying her face in her hands. Randy leaned down and carefully took the key card from her hand, unlocking and opening the door. He reached down and grabbed her hand pulling her up and guiding her into her hotel room, dropping her bag beside the door. He directed her over to the couch and was just turning to make sure the door had closed when he heard her low voice.

"Make sure the door is locked. Both locks. Make sure," she said almost pleading with him.

He didn't exactly know how to respond to the tone in her voice, so he did as she asked and checked to make sure the door was securely shut and locked. Turning back around, he saw her watching him. He slowly made his way back over to the couch and crouched down in front of her. As he reached out to touch her hand, she leaned further into the couch cushions, slightly pulling away. He looked at her and moved back a step.

"Lita?" questioned Randy.

He was just looking at her with those blue eyes…eyes that were filled with questions and worry.

"Please – let me help you. I know we haven't ever really hung out or for that matter had a real conversation. But I know something is wrong and that you need a friend right now. Let me be that person for you," he said as he stared into her hazel eyes. He spoke so honestly, Lita was completely taken aback.

"Randy, I-I uh. No!" she cried, "I can't do this right now! I don't even know you Randy. And I wake up in your hotel room this morning and then you're chasing me down the hallway and now you're sitting on the floor in my hotel room asking me to share my pathetic secret with you?" Lita exploded as she turned and walked over to the window.

Randy was so taken aback by her outburst that he didn't know how to react at first. He simply stared at her in shocked silence before shaking his head and making his way towards the door. Maybe this wasn't going to work after all. But how could he just walk away? He knew something was terribly wrong with the diva. Her eyes held a secret, they were a source of immense pain – of that much he was sure. It wasn't until he had his hand on the doorknob did she finally turn from the window and call his name.

"Randy? Please. I'm sorry. You've been nothing but nice to me the past 24 hours and here I am jumping down your throat for it. Don't go."

Randy turned from the door and looked at her. She was standing there, with her arms wrapped around her, her eyes now filled with something he couldn't quite name. He simply nodded and made his way back over to the couch. He sat down and waited patiently while she seemed to be having a mental battle with herself. Finally, she began to move towards the couch and perched herself carefully on the complete opposite end, not wanting to be too close to him. She needed to free herself of this secret or she would eventually wither and die, not that a part of her soul hadn't already begun to do so. She glanced at the clock, pushed her hair behind her ears, and took a deep breath.

"It all started two months, five days, nine hours, thirty-two minutes, and eleven seconds ago…"

Randy sat in shocked silence as Lita told her story. He watched as she wrung her hands together, only stopping to wipe away the tears that had begun to fall. He watched as her eyes filled with the terror and panic she must have felt that night as she was put through hell. He understood now why he always saw her run right to her locker room when she got the arena, only leaving for her match, and then returning to her locker room immediately afterwards. He had heard Stacy and Trish whispering in quiet corners, wondering if everything was okay with the redheaded diva, knowing something was wrong, but not sure exactly what might have happened. He understood now why Jericho and Benoit were always asking the other if he had spoken to her. She had cut herself off from anyone who truly loved her. She had decided to keep her nightmare, her terror, her pain to herself rather than share the burden with her best friends. And now, here she was, perched on a corner of the couch, in some random hotel room, telling her story to him. All he wanted was to reach over and pull her to him, to hold her in his arms, to stop her tears, to make her feel safe.

"And that's why, last night, when my car wouldn't start, I panicked. I used to love taking walks on dark clear nights and just look up at the stars. And now? The dark is the most terror-filled place for me. It's where all my nightmares become reality," she concluded as she tried to breath through the agony she was feeling.

"Lita…" Randy's voice trailed off. What could he possibly say that would make her feel better? There wasn't anything he could say or do to change what had happened to her or what she was going through now. Instead, he stood up and held out his hand to her. Lita looked first at his hand and then at his face. He was staring down at her with a look of such intense calm, she immediately felt her own heart rate slowing. Cautiously, she placed her shaking hand into his, not exactly sure what he had planned. He pulled her to a standing position and led her towards the bed. For a moment, Lita couldn't believe that after what she had just told him, he was going to try to get her into bed, but then he once again surprised her. Using his free hand, Randy pulled down the comforter and gave her a boyish smile.

"I think you should try to get some sleep. We don't have to be anywhere until later tonight, so why don't you just rest for a while. And I promise – I'll be right here when you wake up."

Lita softly smiled as he let go of her hand and once she was lying comfortably, he carefully pulled the comforter up around her.

"I promise – I'll be right here," he repeated again as she closed her eyes and for the first time in what seemed like years, fell into a somewhat comfortable sleep.

_Later that Day_

Lita awoke feeling better than she had in a long, long time. She looked around her hotel room for the familiar face, for the person who had promised that he would be there when she woke up. When she didn't see him, she felt tears sting her eyes. But what had she expected? Him to stick around after that story she had told him?

"Yeah, right," she muttered, as she sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey! You're awake," came a voice from over on the couch.

Lita stood up and walked towards the sound of the voice. What she saw almost made her laugh. Randy was lying on the couch, all rumpled and disheveled, looking like he too had fallen asleep.

"Did you fall asleep too?" she laughed.

"I guess. One minute, I was watching _South Park_ on t.v. and the next thing I know I'm being laughed at by a beautiful woman."

Lita blushed at the last comment and a smile played at her lips. She watched as Randy sat up and stretched his muscles a bit, loosening them up after lying on the cramped couch for the last three hours. Lita couldn't help but notice how his t-shirt tightened over his arms as he stretched or how tanned his skin was or how when he lifted his arms over his head, she could see his tight abs.

"So what do you say?"

"Huh? Uh, sorry…I must have spaced out there for a minute," she stammered.

The trademark smirk of Randy Orton played on his lips as he repeated his question.

"I wanted to know if you wanted a ride to the arena tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks. I'd appreciate it," Lita said as she took a seat beside him on the couch, being careful not to sit too close.

"So are you, I mean are you okay?" Randy cautiously asked.

"Am I okay? I doubt I'll ever be okay. But am I a little better? Yeah. Thank you for being patient and letting me say what I needed to say," Lita said with a small smile as she stood up from the couch.

"I'm glad I was able to be there for you…" Randy trailed off as he realized she was standing in front of him wearing a tight tank top and a pair of low-cut jeans. His eyes quickly took in her curves before he shook his head and gazed back up at her eyes. He could see that her eyes seemed calmer at the moment, but at the same time, he could still see the fear and panic that he knew would plague her for a long time. Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, he decided it was probably time he took off back to his own room to get ready for that night's RAW.

Bending down as he passed her, he whispered in her ear, "I'll come pick you up in an hour. If you need anything, just call."

Lita opened her mouth to say something, but no words would come out. For some reason, having him standing so close to her was causing her knees to feel weak. She looked down at the floor and counted to ten before looking up again. He was standing by the door ready to leave.

"See you in a few," he said as he gave her a dazzling smile and a wink before walking out the door.

_Oh my god!_ _What the hell am I doing? I'm an emotional mess, my life has been nothing but panic attacks and nightmares for the past two months and now there's this guy that has suddenly come into my life and for whatever reason, he's decided to be my friend. Maybe it's a good thing – I definitely need someone I can talk to, someone who won't judge me or get all emotional, someone who just wants to be there for me. _

She immediately stopped her train of thought after glancing at the clock. She had less than an hour now to shower, dress, and pack her bag before Randy came to pick her up.

Lita made sure the door to her hotel room was securely locked before getting in the shower. She stood under the hot water for a while, before finally deciding she better get out and get dressed so she would be ready in time to leave for the arena. Pulling on a pair of baggy black cargo pants and a gray t-shirt, she combed her hair and pulled it back into a messy ponytail. Just as she finished packing her duffle bag, there was a knock on her door. Looking through the peephole, she smiled and opened the door.

"Ready?" Randy asked. He was standing there in a pair of track pants and a black fleece sweatshirt smelling of soap and cologne. The sleeves of his sweatshirt were pulled up just enough so she could see the tattoos on his arms. She felt herself blushing once again and quickly turned to grab her duffel bag from the table.

"I think so. I think this is the first time in two months I'm going to walk to the elevator, not run and stand there pressing the button over and over again waiting for the doors to open, practically hyperventilating…" she trailed off as she saw the concern in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're up for this tonight? I mean, I could call Eric and tell him you're sick or that you had a family emergency and needed to go home for a few days."

"Randy? Really, it'll be okay. I need to start living my life again." She tried to sound confident, but the words sounded somewhat hollow, even to her own ears.

Randy could hear the words for what they were as well, but instead of commenting, he smiled and held out his hand to Lita. Lita debated with herself for about half a second before placing her hand in his and letting him lead her to the elevators. It was the first time in two months that she was actually walking down a hallway at a normal pace, rather than running panicked and breathless from her room to the elevator, and it terrified her. Despite the fact that Randy was walking right beside her, her nerves began to kick in. Lita felt her heart rate increase. Her palms starting sweating and her eyes were shifting from side to side, looking for anything out of the ordinary. It was almost as if Randy could sense her unease because the grip on her hand tightened and he smiled down at her with those icy blue eyes.

"Relax okay. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise," he said reassuringly squeezing her hand.

Just then, they heard a voice calling their names down the hall. "Randy? Lita?" they heard the voice call.

"Shit. I am not in the mood for a million questions right now," Lita mumbled as she dropped Randy's hand from her own.

Randy shot her a questioning look and Lita mouthed, _Stacy._

"Hi! I tried calling your cell phone all day today. It must have been off though. So are you okay? I was really worried last night. I mean, you haven't exactly been acting like yourself for awh-"

"Stacy, Stacy. I'm fine," Lita said, cutting her off. "I was taking a nap this afternoon and turned off my phone because I didn't want to be woken up. You don't need to worry about me…" Lita caught the look Randy was giving her out of the corner of her eye, but with a little nod of her head warned him not to say anything. She might have been able to tell her deepest darkest secret to him, but she didn't think she was prepared to talk to Stacy about what had happened.

"Oh well, okay. So, Randy what are doing here?" asked Stacy, glancing from Lita to Randy and back again.

"My room is a few doors down from Lita's and we just happened to heading towards the elevator at the same time. That's all," stated Randy with a shrug.

By this time, the elevator had arrived and the three stepped through the doors and an awkward silence descended over the group. Stacy knew something was up with Lita, she just couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. She discreetly kept looking from Lita to Randy to see if she could maybe come up with some answers, but the two superstars were staring straight ahead. Finally, they reached the hotel lobby. Stacy waved goodbye as she spotted Victoria and Trish waiting for her by the hotel entrance. Lita breathed a sigh of relief as the trio finally exited the hotel, although she felt a little awkward as they all glanced in her general direction with looks of concern and then began whispering frantically as they walked out the doors. She looked down at her feet, as she felt Randy's eyes watching her.

"I could never get up enough courage to tell her. I was with her and Trish that night in Boston. I know Stacy – she would feel insanely guilty for letting me leave the club by myself. She would blame herself for what happened, and I couldn't do that to her. Randy, please don't say anything to anyone! Please!" begged Lita.

Randy could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. He moved closer to her and, putting his finger under her chin, he lifted her face until she was looking him directly in the eyes.

"Lita, it's not my secret to tell. You'll let Stacy and Trish know what happened when you're comfortable. I'm just glad that I was able to be there for you when you needed someone to listen to you. A friend Lita – that's all I want to be to you," he said, though a part of him knew he was completing lying to himself. He could see her meaning more to him. Hell, she might already mean more to him than he was ready to admit.

Lita just smiled as Randy once again grasped her hand and led her out to his car. Opening the passenger side door, she climbed in while Randy walked around to the driver side. Turning on the ignition, he put the car in gear, giving Lita's hand a comforting pat, and began to drive towards the arena.

**Please Read and Review - let me know if I should keep going with this!**


	3. Help Me, Protect Me

**Help Me, Protect Me**

Randy had just dropped Lita off in her locker room, saying that he was only a few doors down should she need anything. After he had left, she had immediately run over and locked the door. She had just finished putting on her wrestling gear, when there was a banging on her door. Lita's head shot up as she called in a nervous voice, "Who's there?"

"Liiiita…Liiiita. You can't hide in there forever. Come out and play Liiiita. Come on, you know you want to…" came the sing-song voice of Gene Snitsky.

Lita didn't respond as he continued to bang on her locker room door, calling her name in that sickening voice. She began to shake and slowly backed up until she was finally flat again the wall on the far side of her locker room. As the banging continued, she slowly slid down the wall and pulled her legs up to her chest. She sat there, staring at the door as the banging continued, as Snitsky continued to call her name over and over again. _Why is he trying to torture me? Please, make him go away. Make it go away. Make it all go away! _She repeated over and over again in her head as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Unexpectedly, the banging stopped and a crash could be heard and then a loud groan. Lita looked up and once again stared at the door. This time, however, instead of a bang on the door, there came a soft knock.

"Lita? It's me…please Lita. Let me in. Are you okay? Lita?" came Randy's voice on the other side of the door.

Lita wanted to answer him, but her fear and panic were still in control and she was unable to make any words come out of her mouth. She heard Randy asking someone walking by if they had a key to the locker room, claiming he had accidentally locked himself out when he went to get a bottle of water. She heard a key sliding into the lock and heard Randy saying _thanks_ to whoever it was. He waited for the arena worker to continue his walk down the hallway before opening the door.

"Oh god…" he groaned as she saw her huddled in the corner of her locker room, knees pulled up tightly to her chest, rocking back and forth, with tears streaming down her face. When he had called her name and gotten no response, he had become terrified. His only thought was that he had to get to her, to help her, to make sure she was all right. He raced over to where she sat and crouched down in front of her.

"Lita? Sweetheart, it's Randy. Please look at me." His voice shook with all the fear and worry that was still coursing through him.

"He-he wouldn't stop. I tried to get him to stop and he wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to fight, but he was too strong!" she cried as she continued to rock back and forth. Randy instinctively knew she wasn't talking about what had just happened with Snitsky. He pulled her to him and cradled her in his arms as she continued to sob. She buried her head in his chest as he lowered himself completely to the ground and simply held her against him, offering her what comfort he could.

Finally, Lita stopped crying. Randy looked down at her small frame that was wrapped protectively in his arms. Knowing he had to get her out of there without too much of a fuss, he lifted her up and carried her over to the couch. Sitting her softly down, he straightened up, as she slowly looked up into his eyes.

"I'm going to go tell Eric you're feeling sick and need to go back to the hotel and I'm coming with you. You shouldn't be alone right now," Randy said.

"No-no, Randy it's okay. I'm fine. I'll be okay. Don't worry about m-"

"Dammit Lita – you are not okay! You've been put through hell by some maniac. You hardly sleep, you hardly eat, and the littlest noise causes you to have a panic attack. I've only gotten to know a little about you in the past two days and I already know that you are far from fine. Now, I'm taking you back to the hotel. It's not up for discussion!" he yelled. Stacy and Trish happened to be walking by Lita's locker room at this point and heard someone yelling at Lita. Barging through the door, they stood in disbelief as they saw Randy Orton standing over Lita, hands on his hips, looking angrily down at the diva.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Randy? Get the hell away from her!" yelled Trish, as she saw Lita huddled in the corner of the couch, tears in her eyes.

Randy didn't know what to say without giving away Lita's secret. Instead, he just looked at the two angry divas, shrugged his shoulders, and with one last backwards glance at Lita, made his way towards the door.

"No – Randy you don't have to go. Trish, Stacy…it's not a big deal," Lita said trying to compose herself. "He was just trying to help. I don't feel all that great at the moment. I think that stomach bug I had isn't completely gone and Randy was just trying to get me to go back to the hotel. That's all," she lied to her friends. Randy just turned and stared back at the redheaded diva, not responding.

"Well, he still shouldn't have been yelling at you," said Stacy, sending a glare in Randy's direction. Randy decided to it would be easier for Lita if he just played along.

"Yeah, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry Lita. It was pretty rude of me. I was worried – you looked so pale. I just didn't think you should be wrestling tonight. I guess I went about it the wrong way," said Randy, Lita clearly hearing the underlying meaning in his words.

"It's okay. Girls, I think I will head back to the hotel. I'm feeling pretty bad. How about tomorrow morning we meet for coffee?" asked Lita.

Trish and Stacy shared a glance. They couldn't remember the last time they had breakfast with their friend. Quickly nodding their heads in agreement, the two divas turned to leave, before Trish suddenly stopped.

"Are you driving back to the hotel? Because, I mean, if you're not feeling well, you probably shouldn't be driving."

"Oh, uh, um no. Randy said he would take me. Right Randy?" asked Lita pointedly.

"Oh right. Yeah. I was going to talk to Eric and see if I could leave for a little while and bring Lita back to the hotel before my match. I should probably go talk to him now. Uh, see you ladies later," he stammered as he walked out of the locker room.

_What was that? _mouthed Trish to Stacy. Stacy just shrugged in response. She had no idea what was going on with their friend and the Legend Killer. Maybe whatever it was had to do with why Lita had been so secretive the last couple of months, why she had been acting so strangely.

"Well sweetie, we better be going too. I have to go finish getting ready for my match and Stacy has a promo to shoot. We'll see you tomorrow morning okay? If you're still feeling kind of yucky, just call and we can maybe hang out later in the day. See you later!" called Trish as she and Stacy walked out the Lita's locker room.

_In Bischoff's Office_

"Eric, come on. I'll only be gone for like half an hour. She's just feeling really sick and needs to go back to the hotel."

"What are you Orton? Her keeper? Her protector? Can't one of her little girl friends drive her?" snarled Eric.

"No-they can't. They all have something to do tonight. And my match isn't starting for another hour. I can drive her and be back here in plenty of time," said Randy through clenched teeth.

"Fine. You have thirty minutes. If you're not back by then, you are officially suspended for two weeks."

Randy nodded as he made his way out of the office. "Thirty minutes Orton. That's all you've got," called Bischoff as he left.

_Lita's Locker Room_

Randy raced back to Lita's locker room. She was still sitting exactly where he had left her only moments before. She looked up, surprised, as he walked back in.

"Come on, babe. I'm bringing you back to the hotel. I won't be able to stay though. If I'm not back in half an hour, I'm suspended for two weeks," said Randy with a smirk.

Lita merely nodded before standing, picking up her duffle bag, and following Randy out the room. When they reached the exit to the parking lot, Lita suddenly stopped. Randy looked down at Lita and put his arm around her waist, before pushing open the door and leading her to his car.

Lita seemed be lost in her own thoughts during the car ride back to the hotel. Randy wasn't sure if he should mention the incident with Snitsky or what she had said to him shortly afterward. He decided now wasn't the time, seeing as how he didn't have much time to bring her to her hotel and get back to the arena. Finally arriving at the hotel, he walked Lita up to her room and stood in the doorway as she dropped her duffle bag on the floor and turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I've put you in a really awkward situation. And now, I might have cost you two weeks of work."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled. I want to talk to you about what happened tonight, but if I don't leave now, I won't make it back to the arena in time. I'll be back here around midnight. Can we talk then? Will you be asleep?" he asked her.

"Sleep? What's sleep? No, most likely I'll still be up watching t.v. or something. Come by when you're done. And Randy? Good luck tonight," she said with a small smile.

Randy smiled too as he turned and began to walk back down the hall towards the elevators.

_After the Match_

"Hey Orton!" called Chris Jericho. "Come on, man. We're heading out to his really great club tonight. Come on! Women, alcohol – WOMEN!"

Randy laughed at Chris's obvious excitement. But he wasn't planning on participating in this particular outing. He needed to get back to the hotel to talk with Lita.

"Sorry Chris. No can do tonight. I've got to head back to the hotel."

"Dude? Passing up women and alcohol? What's wrong with you? Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah man, I'm fine. I just have something I need to do."

"Something or _someone_ to do? Ahh, I see. Mr. Orton already has some fun waiting for him at the hotel. Understandable man. Enjoy!" called Chris as he raced off to gather up the rest of the guys.

_Yeah. I'm just going to be having loads of fun, _thought Randy as he made his way to his car, mentally preparing himself for his conversation with Lita.

_Back at the Hotel_

Arriving back at the hotel a little after midnight, Randy went to his room first and dropped his bag off before taking a deep breath and making his way to Lita's room. Knocking softly on the door, he waited for her to answer. When she finally opened the door, she stepped back so he could enter. He watched as she walked over to the couch and curled up on one end under a blanket. He followed suit and sat down on the opposite end. It seemed as though neither one of them wanted to start this conversation, so they simply sat staring each other. Finally, Lita looked away and started twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Randy took a deep breath and decided he was going to have to be the one to start talking.

"It wasn't the same Li. What Snitsky did tonight – that was him being an asshole. It's not the same," Randy started.

"I know it's not the same. But Randy? I can hear his voice in my head saying the words over and over again. When I close my eyes to try to sleep, I see his face leaning over me. When I hear a noise, any noise that's out of the ordinary, I think he's come back to finish what he started. And I don't even know who he was – just some random guy who decided to turn my life into a living hell. It might not be the same, but it all somehow gets jumbled in my head."

Randy stood up and moved closer to her spot on the couch, still not daring to touch her small frame.

"Have you ever talked to anyone about what happened to you? I mean besides me?" he asked.

"No – and I don't plan to. I'll work through it in my own way, in my own time."

"But can't you see? You aren't working through it. It's a living nightmare for you. You feel the terror and the fear every minute of every day. And pretending that everything is fine whenever you talk to your friends isn't helping. They love you Li. They'll understand."

"I-I-I just can't! I don't know why I was able to tell you. Maybe because I don't know you that well, so it seemed easier than having to tell my best friends. But I just can't do it yet. I don't have the strength to answer all the questions."

"Okay, okay. I understand. But do you understand what I felt when I saw you tonight, curled into a ball, crying? I was so scared, Lita."

_Scared?_ she thought. _He was scared for me?_

"Randy why are you doing this? Why are trying to help me? Why are you trying to protect me?"

"I can't tell you that Lita. All I know is last night, when I knocked you down and saw you sitting on the ground with that panicked look on your face, I knew that I needed to be there for you, to help you get through whatever was wrong. And now that I know why, I just can't walk away. Even if that's what you want me to do. I can't, I won't walk away."

Lita felt her heart begin to beat faster when he said those words, but in a good way. Her heart wasn't beating more rapidly because she was scared or panicked – it was his presence – his blue eyes pleading with her to understand, his finger that was unconsciously tracing invisible lines on her hand while he talked, the sound of his voice. She turned to face him, her eyes locking with his. She studied him for a moment before speaking just above a whisper.

"I don't think I can do this alone anymore. I need someone in my life who understands what I'm going through."

Before Randy knew what he was doing, he had stood up and grasped one of her hands. Pulling her to her feet, he looked down into her hazel eyes, searching for something, he wasn't sure what. Lita looked back at him with a look of apprehension on her face. At first, she wasn't sure what he was going to do, but his intention became clear as he started to lower his face towards hers. She soon found their lips pressed together in a passionate kiss. Lita stood frozen in place as she felt her lips touch his. When she was able to gain her thoughts, she hastily pushed him away. Her mind was racing as she took a few steps back attempting to put some distance between Randy and her. For some reason she felt the need to regain control. She couldn't lose herself in Randy's embrace. _What the fuck? Why can't I get this shit out of my head and get over this pain? Why can't Igiveinto these feelings? Whenever someone gets close – too close – I can't forget that night…the pain of being so out of control and vulnerable. All I want to do is live a normal life again._

Randy just stood motionless, shocked by what had happened. He soon realized he had stepped over the boundaries of friendship. His guilt began to consume him. _God! Could I possibly be more of an asshole? How could I have kissed her, pushed her to do something she's so obviously not ready for? She isn't ready to let go of the past yet…she needs more time. I can't ruin this – I think I want more with this girl. I need to back off or I'll fuck up any chance I have with her. I need to focus more on her and less on my emotions and desires._

"I, um, I better go. I guess I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight Lita," Randy said as he made his way out the door.

She was unable to find words in that moment of awkwardness between them. She wanted desperately to tell him that it wasn't his fault and she did want this, but the words escaped her. She had to watch him slip out the door with a look of disappointment and rejection. "Goodnight Randy," she whispered as the door closed behind him. Walking over to the door, Lita clicked the lock in place and leaned back, closing her eyes for a moment. _I need to start living again, but I can't seem to let go, to just let myself be free. I wanted that kiss – or at least I think I wanted it. How can I get back to being myself? How can I start a relationship, when I can't stop being afraid? _Sighing, she climbed into bed, turning off the lamp. However, sleep was a long time in coming as she replayed the night's event over and over again in her head. She planned to talk with him in the morning. Lita wanted to tell him how desperately she wanted to kiss him back. How she yearned to have that moment back and react differently. She wanted him to know that her pulling away was not a way of rejecting him, but gaining the control she lacked that night two months ago. All she needed now was the ability to let herself go and enjoy the way he made her feel- beautiful and safe. She eventually drifted off to sleep. A small smile crept onto her lips as she dreamt of the possibilities.


	4. If They Only Knew

**If They Only Knew…**

Returning to his room, Randy was thankful to find that Dave had apparently gone out for the evening. _Up to the same old shit. Different girls, different bar, different city, but same old shit. I don't think I could go back to that now. Thank God he isn't here tonight. I am in no mood for explanations and I don't want to be dragged out to some dive when all I can think about is Lita and how I want to spend every moment in her arms._ Randy flopped on the bed staring up toward the ceiling recalling the past few moments. He wanted to try to forget about the huge mistake he had just made. _I told her I would help her – that I would be there for support. Then what do I do? I let my emotions get the better of me! I kissed her! I can't believe I did that. What the hell was I thinking? She was in no way ready for that kiss. _If only he could replay those last few moments with her. If only he could take that first kiss back and save it for the moment she was ready. Now she may never be able to forgive him. He might never get the chance to show her how he felt, or to help her through this painful ordeal. What would tomorrow bring? His mind wandered and whirled until at last the weariness overcame him and his eyes became heavy. His feelings of guilt slowly subsided as his head began to swim with thoughts of the redhead down the hall. His eyes finally closed and sleep overcame him. But even in his dreams, he could still hear her voice, see her eyes, her lips…

_The Next Morning_

"So, where the hell were you last night? Busy pleasuring some ring rat?" Batista's voice broke into his slumber, as Randy slowly sat up in his bed, the events of last night once again flooding his thoughts. He wished he could silence Batista, stop the flood of guilt rushing back to his mind, and return to Lita in his dreams. Sighing, Randy looked over and saw Batista, dressed in workout gear, preparing to go down to the hotel gym. Dave was watching him intently, wondering what thoughts were behind Randy's silence. He had seen the flash of sadness and frustration cross his features. But as quickly as it had appeared, it faded.

"What? Oh, no man. I had a couple of things I needed to sort out. That's all…no biggie. So, what'd I miss last night?" he asked.

"Nothing much. It was the usual – women, alcohol. Way too much alcohol," Dave said with a small chuckle. Randy smiled knowing the big man was probably suffering from a pretty good hangover this morning. Reaching into his bag that was laying next to the bed, he grabbed the bottle of aspirin he always carried and tossed it in Dave's direction.

"Thanks man. Appreciate it. I'm gonna head down to the gym to work out for a little while. Do you want to come?" asked Dave, as he popped two aspirin and took a long drink from his bottle of water.

"No, thanks. I think I'm just going to take a shower and watch some t.v. for a while. I can still feel the pounding I took last night. I just need to relax a for a bit…" said Randy. Dave nodded in understanding. Randy's match the night before had been brutal. Dave understood completely what he was feeling. What he didn't understand were the looks of unhappiness, frustration, and apprehension that kept crossing Randy's features. Randy was a really private person. Dave knew that until Randy was ready, there was no way to break his silence.

"See you in a few hours, kid. Enjoy the peace and quiet…" Dave shouted as he walked out of the hotel room. Randy sat there for a moment, before finally standing up and making his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

_In Lita's Room..._

"So? How was your night? Did you feel any better after leaving the arena?" asked Trish as the three friends lounged around Lita's hotel room, drinking coffee and munching bagels. Trish was happy to see her friend looking so relaxed this morning. She couldn't remember the last time Lita had seemed comfortable just sitting around and talking.

"Oh, yeah…much better. I think I just needed to rest a bit. I pretty much came back here, laid on the bed, and relaxed. Nothing special," said Lita.

"Really? And Randy? He just dropped you off and came back to the arena? We saw him in his match last night, but then he disappeared right after that and he didn't come out to the club with any of us," Stacy exclaimed knowingly.

"Why are you so curious about Randy and I? We're just friends…that's all."

"Friends, huh? Come on Li. We see the way he looks at you, the way he was looking at you last night. We _are_ your best friends – you can tell us if something's going on between you two," said Trish.

"Randy and I are just friends. Nothing more. I swear!" cried Lita, looking pointedly at her two friends. Trish and Stacy looked back at her for a moment, studying her features. She looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes and those eyes – there was something there that worried both of them, although both Trish and Stacy weren't sure what it was. All they knew was that the Lita sitting across from them now, was not the same woman they had known months ago. They missed the Lita who used to sing along with the radio even when she didn't know the words, who would prank call other wrestlers in the middle of the night, who could dance for hours at the clubs. Where had she gone? What had happened to her?

"So if Randy's not the reason you've been acting different around us, then what is it? Please Lita, talk to us. Tell us what we need to do to help. There's obviously something wrong. We just want to be there for you…" pleaded Stacy.

_They want to help me. They know something's wrong. That there's something different. All I have to do is open my mouth and tell them. Tell them the secret I've been keeping for the past two months. Why can't I just do that? Why can't I just let go?_

"Did something happen at home, with your family? Everyone's okay right?" When Lita shook her head in affirmation, Trish continued. "Well, then did something happen at work? This doesn't have to do with your match a few weeks ago against Victoria does it? That's not it, is it Lita?" asked Trish. She and Stacy continued to look at her with identical looks of concern on their faces.

"Li? We're your best friends. What could be wrong – so wrong – that you can't tell us? What could have possibly happened that has had you so tied up in knots these last couple of months? We love you Li. We would never judge you, no matter what you tell us." said Stacy.

Lita opened her mouth in an attempt to speak, but no words would come out. _If they only knew…I want to tell them. I want to tell them so badly. But what if they blame themselves for what happened? What if they think it's their fault because they let me walk back to the hotel alone. What if they criticize me for being so goddamn independent, so stubborn and refusing to call a cab or wait and walk back to the hotel with them? What if… _Lita was biting her lower lip as she thought about what she should do. She wanted to tell them, to release herself of this nightmare, to be able to put into words everything she had been feeling the last couple of months. But she couldn't – not just yet. Lita looked around her hotel room before her eyes came to rest once again on her two best friends. They were practically begging her to talk to them, to tell them her deepest, darkest secret. And she couldn't do it. She just couldn't make the words come out.

Forcing a smile, Lita said, "It's nothing girls. I don't want you to worry – everything's fine. I guess I'm just missing home. We've been on the road for so long now…I just want to be able to go back to North Carolina for a few days and see my family. That's all…" The excuse sounded lame, even to Lita. _Why can't I just tell them the truth? It would be so easy, so freeing to tell them everything that's happened, everything I've gone through. To tell them about days and the nights and the fear. To tell them about – well, about Randy – and their friendship. Friendship. Is that all it really is? A friendship?_

Trish and Stacy nodded understandingly, although, secretly, neither of them truly believed what Lita had just said. They had seen Lita feeling homesick before, and usually she dealt with it by going out, having fun with friends, or doing something completely crazy to keep her mind off her family. But this time? Something just wasn't adding up. Lita had been too quiet lately, to secretive, to desirous of being alone. Trish wanted to take her friend by the shoulders and shake her – demand that she tell them the truth. However, she also knew that when something was bothering Lita, it was best to give her space and time and eventually she would come around and tell them what she was thinking. Glancing at her watch, Trish realized that it was already almost noon and she needed to run a couple of errands before getting in a workout at the gym.

"Li, sweetie…I have to get going. I've got a bunch of errands I need to run and then I better hall myself to the gym to workout for at least a little while…"

"Yeah, I've got to get going too. I've got to meet with the PR people about a couple of personal appearances they want me to make. Sounds like fun, right?" Stacy asked as she and Trish made their way towards the door. Lita smiled at the sarcasm she heard in Stacy's voice.

"Oh hey!" said Trish, turning and looking back at Lita. "We're going to the Paesanos Lounge tonight. It's this cute little bar that just opened in downtown. Come with us? We'll go get some drinks and just unwind a bit. It'll be fun," offered Trish.

_Should I? Going out with my friends could be a lot of fun. Then again, going out only reminds me of how my nightmare started. But I definitely need to have a little fun. I'm getting so sick and tired of staring at these four walls every day. I need to start living my life again – being with other people, not being afraid. I can't allow that asshole to get the best of me. I can't let him continue to fuck with my head. It's over—it needs to be over for me. I need to regain control. I'm a fucking strong woman! Okay – I'll go, I'll go. Right, I'll go. _Lita thought as she tried to convince herself.

"Okay. I'll go. It sounds like fun…" Lita said trying to keep the apprehension she was feeling out of her voice.

"Good…great! We'll come pick you up. This is going to be so much fun! How 'bout we come get you around nine-thirty? That okay with you?" asked Stacy with a genuine smile of happiness on her face. Lita nodded her head in agreement. She hugged each of her friends and offered them a small wave as they began making their way back to their hotel room. Closing and locking the door behind them, she sighed and leaned back closing her eyes. _If they only knew…_she thought. Pushing herself off the wall, Lita walked over to the nightstand, picking up the piece of paper that sat next to the phone. Dialing the number, she was surprised when it was answered on the second ring.

"Do you mind if I stop by? I really need to talk. Okay – yeah, five minutes. Thanks," she said as she hung up the phone, running her fingers through her hair before grabbing her key card and walking quickly out of room and down the hall.

_Five Minutes Later_

Lita quietly knocked on the door and waited. She glanced first to her left and then her right, but the hallway was completely empty. Suddenly, the door swung open. Breathing a sigh of relief, Lita entered the room, making her way over to one of the chairs. Randy quietly shut the door behind him and made his way back over to the bed where he laid down on his stomach so he could look at the redheaded diva.

"Hey! How was your morning?" he asked. But before she had a chance to answer, he looked at her, his eyes pleading with her to understand. "I'm really sorry about last night. I definitely overstepped by bounds. It never should have happened," he said almost in a whisper.

Lita studied his features for a moment, before responding. "Randy, it's okay. If it wasn't, I definitely wouldn't be sitting with you in your hotel room right now." Giving him a small, crooked smile, she quickly averted her eyes from his and began studying her hands.

"What's up? You okay?" he asked with a touch of concern in his voice.

"Sort of. I was just having breakfast with Trish and Stacy in my room and they started asking questions. They know something's wrong, that I'm different than I was a couple of months ago. Randy – I wanted to tell them the truth…I wanted to tell them what had really happened. But I froze. I couldn't do it…" she trailed off as she noticed Randy studying her face. "What? Do I have something on my face?" Lita brushed her cheek with the back of her hand, concerned that she had left some breakfast crumbs on the side of her lip. Randy avoided her gaze, realizing he must have been staring at her beauty. He couldn't help it. She was so goddamn gorgeous.

"Oh, no! It's just…never mind. So you couldn't tell them, huh? Li, maybe you're just not ready yet, and that's okay. You have to come to terms with this whole situation and until you do, it'll be really hard to talk about with anyone else," Randy said, reaching out and placing one of his hands on Lita's knee. He quickly withdrew his hand, afraid of what her reaction might be to his touch.

"Yeah well…they invited me to go to this bar with them tonight. I told them I would go. I guess I just need to start living again, to begin doing the things I used to do before all this started. I can't let the fear win."

Randy watched the play of emotions across her face as she told him she would be venturing out with her friends that evening. He knew she was nervous, fearful – but he also knew that she was one of the strongest women he had ever met, that she would eventually conquer her fears.

"I think that's good. Go – have fun. Trish and Stacy will be there with you, so I'm sure everything will be fine," he said with a small smile.

Lita looked again into his blue eyes that were once again intently staring at her.

"Before, when you were staring at me and you started to say something and then stopped – what were you going to say?" she asked.

"Oh. Nothing. It was nothing," Randy hesitated.

"It was something. Come on…what were you going to say? I never thought you would be the kind of guy who couldn't speak his mind," Lita challenged him.

Randy actually laughed at this. "You want to know what I was going to say? Fine. I was going to say…I was going to say that you look beautiful." As he said the last part, he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat staring into her hazel eyes, a look of intense concentration on his face, as if he was trying to read her thoughts. Lita returned his gaze, looking into his ice blue eyes without flinching. The tension filling the room was obvious. Both of them knew that in a short time, a very short time, their feelings for each other had begun to run deeper than friendship. Randy wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her, to kiss her until her knees went weak, to hold her in his arms and feel her lips against his. He didn't dare make a move towards her though. Randy was afraid that if he crossed that boundary again, much like he did the night before, he would lose her forever. And that was a risk he was not willing to take.

Although she had pushed away from him last night, at this moment, Lita wanted nothing more than to capture his full red lips with her own, to feel his strong arms around her. But she couldn't – she wasn't ready to be that close to someone just yet – to be that close to him. Finally pulling her eyes away, she realized neither one of them had spoken a single word for the last few minutes. It was as if they both knew what the other person wanted, but were too afraid to put it into words. The silence and tension filling the room was becoming extremely awkward. Finally, Randy spoke.

"I think I'm going to take a nap," he whispered. Lita, a little taken aback by the statement, stood up ready to leave, but his next words caught her by surprise. "Care to join me?" he asked. She slowly turned and looked at him. Raising an eyebrow, Randy looked at her with questioning eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "To rest, I mean! I know you sleep better when someone is in the room and you can relax. I didn't mean to imply anything else, Lita." Without a word, Lita nodded and walked back towards him. Randy sighed quietly as he watched her lay down – not on his bed, but on Dave's – and curl into a ball, closing her eyes. He understood why she couldn't be that close to him, that it was too soon for her, but he was frustrated all the same. He wanted her, wanted her like no other woman he had ever met. He would have to wait—even though it might kill him.

_The Nightmare…_

_You can't run bitch. I'm always here, always in your head. Always waiting and watching. You scream, you die. You scream, you die. You scream, you d-_

Lita sat straight up in the bed, panting, trying to catch her breath. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her whole body was shaking. Swiftly, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her and a deep, soothing voice was whispering in her ear.

"Li…it's okay baby. It was just a nightmare. You're here, safe with me. He can't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you." Randy took his thumb and wiped away the tears that remained on her cheeks. Her breathing slowly began to return to normal and she had stopped shaking.

"It's never going to stop Randy! Every time, it's the same. I can hear his voice over and over again in my head. The same words repeating themselves and I can't escape! And now? I can't even escape it during the day. Whenever I hear any sound out of the ordinary, any unfamiliar voice, it scares the shit out me. Daymares," she said with a bitter laugh. "As if the nightmares weren't bad enough, I now have to deal with it during the day too! "

"Shhh. It's going to be okay. It will all be okay…" said Randy feeling completely helpless as Lita's tears began to fall again. He quietly stroked her hair, as he held her protectively against him. Lita buried her head in his chest and he could feel her tears soaking through his t-shirt. Knowing neither one of them would be able to fall back to sleep, he just held her close to him, offering her any calming words he could think of…

_Sometime Later_

"Sorry kids. Didn't realize young Randall here would have company. I'm just going to grab a quick shower and then I'll be out of your way," said Batista as he returned from his workout to find Randy cradling Lita in his arms. Dave could see Randy whispering to the redhead, but he couldn't make out what he was saying to her.

Lita unhooked herself from Randy's grasp hoping her eyes weren't so puffy and red as to betray the fact that she had been crying. As Randy stood, he looked over at Dave who was busy digging clothes out of his suitcase and said, "Hey man, it's not what you think. We were just talking." Randy gave Dave a pleading look, as if to say don't blow this—I will explain later.

"Randy, I, uh, I better go. I have couple of phone calls I need to make and some other stuff to get done," Lita whispered as she stood up from the bed. Randy walked her over to the door. As she walked out into the hallway, he gently grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

"Have dinner with me tonight. We don't have to go out if you don't want to. We could just stay in, order takeout or room service or something. Whatever you want."

"Yeah, okay. Six o'clock okay with you?" she asked. _That way, I can have dinner with Randy and still have plenty of time to get ready to go out with Trish and Stacy._ Randy nodded his head in agreement and watched as the redhead made her way down the hallway and back to her room.

Randy turned and went back into the room, only to find Dave standing there, arms across his massive chest, with a questioning look on his face.

"So, is this the young lady you were busy with all night? Is she the reason you didn't come out with us last night? Tell me Randy, was she a good lay?"

"God! Do you have to be such an ass all the time? It's not like that man. We're friends. Got it? Just friends." _Bullshit man. That's complete bullshit and you know it. You haven't wanted to be just friends since you lay there and watched her sleep two nights ago. _"I'm just helping her out with something and we've gotten to know each other better. Dave, please don't make a big deal about this. Can we just keep it between us, please?"

Dave was a bit taken aback by the tone in Randy's voice. He was practically pleading with him not to say anything. _Geez, he must really have feelings for this girl. _"Yeah, okay Randy. Don't worry about it. I won't say anything to anyone." Randy smiled in relief as Dave grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom.

"Thanks man. I appreciate it," said Randy.

"No problem kid," said Dave as he closed the door to the bathroom, smiling at the young superstar.

_Lita's Room_

_What phone calls do I have to make? None! I have nothing to do right now. I wish Dave hadn't come back. I could have laid in his arms forever. _She flopped on her bed exasperatedly. _He's the only guy I've felt safe around in months. He makes me feel again. He makes me feel like I can let go of the control – that I don't have to keep everything inside all the time. It's strange – I feel comfortable around him, like I've known him forever. I can be close to him without feeling fear and panic. _Lita smiled to herself. The smile quickly faded as she recalled the nightmare she had just woken up to. It was the same nightmare she had been having every night since her attack. But this time, instead of waking up alone in some dark hotel room, feeling as if the walls were closing in around her, she had woken up with Randy offering her comforting words, wiping away her tears, making her feel that, yes, everything would eventually be okay. Grabbing a magazine off her bedside table, she began flipping through the pages, not really reading. As she went through the motions, she daydreamed about Randy and their dinner together, stopping frequently to check the clock, hoping six o'clock would roll around sooner rather than later.


	5. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

_Randy's Room_

"So," said Dave, as he came out of the bathroom, "what's going on with you and a certain redhead?"

"Nothing. It's what I told you before. We're just friends. She's been going through some stuff and needed someone to talk to. I just happened to be the person she chose."

"What kind of stuff? I mean, I could tell she had been crying when she left here this afternoon, even if she did try to hide it."

"Just stuff – nothing you need to worry about…" Randy trailed off. He really didn't want to get into this discussion at the moment, but he could tell by the look on Dave's face that he wasn't going to just let this go.

"Well, it's obviously something pretty big. You've never even really talked to the girl and now she's spending the afternoon in our hotel room? With you whispering sweet nothings in her ear?"

"Sweet nothings? Who the hell are you? Dr. Ruth? No! It's not like that…she just needs someone... And what difference does it make – what I do in my spare time and who I do it with?" demanded Randy, glaring at Dave.

"It doesn't man. I could give two shits what or who you're doing in your down time. I was just curious is all. What could she possibly be hid-"

"She's not hiding anything!" interrupted Randy. _Except that she is – she's hiding this huge secret. But she trusted me enough to tell me…and there's no way in hell I'm breaking that trust._ "Look – it's just…this whole thing with Lita is really intense right now – the feelings I have for her – it's different than anything I've felt before. And, I kind of made some promises, ones that I can't back out on, that I don't want to back out on. I agreed not to say anything to anyone about what she's told me. No one knows – not even Trish or Stacy and they're her best friends. I just – I can't say anything right now. Do you understand Dave? I wish I could tell you what's going on, I just can't," said Randy, more calmly.

"Hey – I understand. Just be careful, kid. Relationships that are started during high-pressure situations can become intense really fast," declared Dave knowingly.

"Thanks Dave. I'll keep that in mind. So, are you heading out somewhere?" asked Randy, glancing quickly at the clock to make sure he wasn't going to be late for his dinner with Lita.

"Yeah, I told some of the guys I'd meet them down in the bar for a drink before heading out to a club, seeing as tonight is our last night in Houston. Wanna come?"

"Uh, no thanks. I already have plans. But hey – what club are you all heading too?"

"The Paesanos Lounge. It's on Main Street…why you planning on catching up with us later? Maybe after…?" smirked Dave, as he walked out the door.

Randy grabbed a sneaker and threw at Dave's departing back. "Shut the fuck up man! It's not like that!"

"Have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Randy heard him call down the hallway. Randy just shook his head and grabbed his cell phone off the bedside table. Flipping through the phone book, he found what he was looking for and dialed the number.

_Later That Night_

Randy knocked on the door and waited for Lita to answer. He couldn't seem to get Dave's words out of his head. _Remember – relationships that are started during high-pressure situations can become intense really fast. _Well, this certainly was a high-pressure situation and Randy could already see how quickly his feelings for Lita were changing. He had started out only wanting to help her get through a difficult situation, but now – it seemed that every time he was around her, he wanted to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her.

What the hell was he doing? Lita was in no way ready for a relationship. And anyway…they had only started getting to know each other the last couple of days. Randy closed his eyes and tried to get her face, her smile, her eyes…her lips, out of his head. Unfortunately, Lita chose this moment to open the door and invite him in to her hotel room.

"What do you have there?" she asked noticing the bag he was carrying.

"I ordered us some Japanese food. I'm pretty tired of room service, and I had an idea that you might be too. I thought it would be a nice change," he shrugged as he began taking containers out of the bag, placing them on the small table. "If you don't like Japanese, we can always order something else."

"No-no. It's fine. Thanks for doing this. How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching for her bag that was hanging on the back of one of the chairs.

"Don't worry about it. It was my pleasure. Have a seat," he said motioning to the empty chair as he sat down across from the redhead.

Lita smiled and sat down. She looked over at Randy, but he seemed to be concentrating more on the chicken tempura in front of him, than on anything else. She watched as he aimlessly pushed the food around on his plate, eating a forkful of his meal every now and then, but still not talking. Lita wondered what he was thinking about, why he looked – well, at the moment, he looked almost lost. As the pair continued to eat their dinner, an awkward silence descended on the room. Finally, Lita stabbed her fork into her noodles, and reached over and touched his hand. Looking up at her, he pulled his hand away and gave her a questioning stare.

"What's wrong? I mean, you haven't said a word since we sat down to eat and you've been staring at your dinner for like ten minutes now. What gives?" she asked, a concerned look crossing her exotic features.

"What? Oh, nothing. I'm fine. I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now. I'm sorry. So, how was your afternoon?" he asked, trying to change the subject. But Lita wasn't about to be put off quite so easily.

"How was my afternoon? It was fine, but you're not too subtle with your attempt at changing the subject. Randy – come on…what's bugging you?" she persisted.

"Lita, there is nothing bothering me, okay? I just don't feel like talking right now! Can we leave it alone?" he questioned, fiddling with his napkin.

Lita just stared at him for a moment before getting up from the table and walking around so she was standing directly next to him. Putting both her hands on his shoulders, she forced him to turn and face her. She knelt down so her eyes were level with his. Looking into his eyes, she saw concern, and worry, and something else. _What was it?_ she wondered. _Apprehension? _

By this time, Randy was getting a bit nervous. The way she was looking at him, it was as if she could see into his very soul. To avoid having to answer her questions, he looked away, and standing, walked over to the hotel room window. How could he tell her what he was really thinking? How could he tell her that he wanted to be with her so badly that it was practically driving him crazy – and this after being around her for a little more than one day? How could he stay here another minute without wrapping his arms around her tiny waist and kissing her with all the emotion he was feeling? He sighed, turning around, and noticed that she had sat back down at the table. She was resting her chin in her hand, watching him with wide, questioning eyes. Lita was completely taken aback – here she had told him her deepest, darkest secret and he couldn't even tell her what he was thinking about. It was baffling. She finally couldn't take the quiet anymore. She felt herself becoming angry at his inability to open up to her.

"What the hell Randy! Tell me something…enlighten me…if we are going to build a relationship," _Shit, did I just say that? _"Uh, I mean a friendship – oh, whatever we are to each other…then why can't you talk to me? You need to be able to talk to me like I talk to you. You need to be able to tell me your secrets and your thoughts. God, I'm not asking for your soul – I just want to know what's going on with you!" said Lita in anger. Randy was shocked. He had never heard her talk to anyone like that before. And it instantly made him feel guilty that he couldn't express his feelings to her, that he couldn't communicate to her his frustrations and needs.

Walking back to the table, he sat down next to her. "I'm sorry. It's-it's always been really hard for me to talk to people. I guess I'm not all that good at communicating what I'm thinking or feeling. I'm a man for Christ's sake! You should know we don't talk about our feelings with other people."

"But Randy? I'm not just other people. I'm the person who chose you – I chose you to tell my secret to. I was completely honest with you…the least you can do is be honest with me. Is that too much to ask? Because if it is, let me know now…let me know before I get in too deep." She looked at him, hoping that he would understand, hoping that he would be able to open up to her…to tell her what was going on in his head, to explain to her the look in his eyes, his silence. Lita was hoping he would understand her need for honesty, but she had this nagging feeling that maybe she shouldn't have revealed her own feelings quite so passionately.

"Li – I-I…it's just something Dave said okay? Don't worry about it."

"Did he say something about us – about the two of us being in your hotel room this afternoon?" she asked with contempt flashing in her eyes.

"No – look, it's no big deal okay? Can we drop it?" he asked. But Lita shook her head at him. She was not just going to drop it. If someone was saying things about her, then she had every right to know what they were saying.

"What did Dave say, huh Randy? That we were fucking? Did he think he interrupted us? What? What could he have said that has you all tied up in knots right now?" asked Lita, a mixture of disdain and concern in her voice.

"He just – he said that relationships started under high pressure situations can become intense really fast. And I –"

"Relationship? Randy, I don't even know how you feel about me…" said Lita, slightly taken aback by his statement. Of all the things she had imagined Dave saying, this was definitely not one of them.

Randy stared at Lita, waging a mental battle with himself. _What if I tell her the truth – how I really feel – and she pushes me away again? What if I tell her and I lose her forever? _Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth, only to quickly close it again.

"Randy come on! I know you must have something to say. So, just tell me –"

"The truth?" said Randy, cutting her off. _I guess it's now or never right? Just tell her and get it over with._ "I started out just wanting to help you. The night that we ran into each other and you looked so terrified? I just wanted to be your friend, to help you with whatever was wrong, to bring you back to the hotel. But then on the way into the hotel, you fell asleep in my arms and ended up staying in my hotel room. That night, I stayed awake a long time just watching you sleep. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay…the next day, you let me in your hotel room and told me your secret. After that, I knew I couldn't turn away, that I couldn't leave you…" he paused, thinking back to the morning that she had sat on her hotel room couch and told him about her nightmare. It made him shudder to think about her pain, her fear, the panic attacks she still experienced – his hands closing into tight fists as he remembered the look in her eyes, the way her voice shook as she talked, the tears that had rolled down her cheeks. Lita just sat staring at him, listening to each word he spoke, a look of shock on her face that he had decided to completely open up to her.

Taking a breath, he steadied himself, and began again. "I don't know quite what happened after that. I tried to protect you the best I could from your fear. I know I promised that I would help you get through this, but a part of me, since that very first night, has always wanted to be more than just a friend to you. And what Dave said? It's completely true. These feelings I have for you? They're more intense than anything I've ever felt for a woman…" he trailed off as he realized what he had just said.

Lita just sat staring at him, watching the play of emotions across Randy's face. She had thought his feelings towards her had grown beyond the boundaries of friendship. And how she wanted to say the words back to him. How she wanted to tell him how badly she needed him, how much she wanted to feel his arms around her, how much she wanted him in her life. But at that moment, looking into his blue eyes, the words escaped her and she couldn't tell him.

She looked up at him, "Randy…I-I, um…" _Why can't I just tell him how I feel? That since the night when I collided with him outside the arena, I've wanted nothing more than to be with him. When I slipped up before, when I told him that if we were going to have a relationship – I want that – a relationship. I don't just want to be his friend. I want to be his everything. I told him to be honest with me, and he was – completely. So why can't I be honest with him now? Why can't I tell him everything that is in my heart? How much I want him – in my life, in my heart, in my arms. I just can't say the words._

Randy looked at Lita. She hadn't said one word since he had finished speaking. And yet – for whatever reason – he understood. It was as if he had become so in-tune with her emotions and needs, that he didn't need to question what she was thinking. He had realized, when she had mistakenly said that if they were going to have a relationship, that he needed to be honest with her about his feelings. Even if, at that moment, she couldn't tell him her true feelings. He understood that he needed to be patient. That until Lita had some control over her own life, her own feelings, it would be hard for her to open up to him. Randy stood up from the table and looked down into her hazel eyes. He carefully reached out and brushed his hand down her cheek. Lita closed her eyes for an instant, before looking at him, her eyes swimming with unanswered questions.

"I told you I would be there for you. That won't change. But know this Li – when you're ready? I'll be waiting." Randy walked over to the door and opened it. Turning back he said, "Good night Li. Have fun tonight. Lock the door after I leave." Flashing her a small smile, he walked out the door.

Lita watched as the door closed softly behind him. Putting her head in her hands, she sighed. _I just let him walk out the door. I let him walk away from me. I have to stop this – I have to stop being so afraid to open my heart again. I want him – and it scares the shit out of me. _Lita shook her head and let out another sigh. Glancing at the clock, she realized she better start getting ready to go out. Out – back into a world filled with fear. _No, I'm not going to let the fear win. I'm going out and having fun with my friends. I deserve a night that I can just let go a little…that I can just let go of it all._

_Randy's Room…_

Randy walked back into his hotel room. He walked over to the minibar and pulled out a nip of Jack and a bottle of Coke. _Screw the Coke_, he thought, tossing it back in the fridge. Sitting down on his bed, he unscrewed the cap and emptied the bottle, feeling it burn down his throat. Randy glanced at the clock. _She's probably leaving right now – going out with her friends. God, I bet she looks beautiful. _He closed his eyes for a moment and pictured her face – he imagined himself wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close, feeling her heartbeat against his chest. Running his hand over his face, he stared at the empty bottle of alcohol he had just consumed. _I gotta get out of here. Where did Dave say they were going tonight? The something Lounge. Oh hell. I should just call him._

_Lita's Room…_

Lita startled as a quick knock sounded, breaking the silence of the hotel room. She immediately relaxed when she heard loud giggles on the other side of the door. After quickly glancing through the peephole, Lita grabbed her bag and pulled open the door. She smiled when she saw Trish and Stacy.

"Li! You look great! I love that top!" exclaimed Trish as she looked at Lita's dark purple halter. Lita smiled sheepishly and glanced down quickly at the rest of her outfit. She hoped she didn't look too provocative. She didn't exactly want to call all that much attention to herself.

Stacy suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. "Come on! Off we go –I heard the Pasaneos Lounge is great- everyone raves about it!" she cried as the trio made their way to the elevators and then out of the hotel. Lita hesitated for only a moment, something that did not go unnoticed by her friends, before quickly falling into step beside Trish and Stacy.

_At the Bar…_

Lita leaned back against the bar, slowly sipping her margarita. Her eyes scanned the group of people in front of her who were dancing to the loudly playing music. Trish and Stacy had gone off to flirt with two guys at the other end of the bar. She glanced to her left, just to make sure they were still there. As she once again looked over the crowd, her thoughts turned to Randy. She smiled as she pictured his eyes, those eyes that seemed to be able to recognize exactly what she was feeling and thinking. _I'll wait for you Li. _His words kept playing over and over again in her head. She smiled – he really did want to be with her. Even after everything she had told him, he still wanted to be with her.

She raised her glass to her lips once again and, through the crowd, spotted a group of her coworkers occupying a large booth in a back corner. Lita watched for a moment as Dave grabbed a hold of a blonde woman and pulled her onto his lap. The woman started giggling as Dave began kissing her neck. _What the hell does he know about relationships? He probably hooks up with a different girl every night. _Lita turned back to the bar. "Could I get a water?" she asked the bar tender.

"Sure doll face. Here you go," he replied, placing a bottle of water in front of her. Lita smiled her thanks, and turned around to watch the people dancing, just as Trish and Stacy walked over.

"Come on! This used to be your favorite song. Let's go dance, Li!" yelled Trish over the loud music. She grabbed Lita's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. Stacy followed quickly behind and soon, the three divas were dancing and joking as they tried to keep up with the music.

"I'm going to grab something to drink – do you girls want anything?" asked Lita as the DJ finally put on a slow song and the trio made their way off the dance floor.

"Yeah – gin and tonic would be great," said Trish fanning herself with her hand.

"Make that two – thanks Li. We'll be right back!" called Stacy as she and Trish made their way towards the bathroom. Lita walked over to the bar and ordered their drinks. She looked up from the bar for a moment and her breath caught in her throat. Randy had just walked in wearing a crisp blue button down shirt and charcoal gray slacks. Spotting Dave, he slowly made his way towards the back booth, working his way through the throngs of people. At that moment, Trish and Stacy returned from the bathroom, calling her name from across the dance floor as they rushed toward her.

"Lita! Oh my god – you won't believe who we just saw hooking up! Christy and Jericho! Can you believe that?" asked Stacy as they approached the redheaded diva. Lita just nodded her head, as her attention appeared to be elsewhere. At the sound of her name, Randy had stopped in his tracks, looking over the crowd until his blue eyes had settled on her, his gaze immediately locking with hers. Offering her an awkward smile, he began to make his way towards her, but stopped when he saw Trish and Stacy fast approaching. He gave her a slight nod and continued to weave his way through the crowd, finally reaching the booth. Lita frowned slightly. _Is he just going to ignore me? He's not even going to come over and say hello? I thought maybe we had gotten past this nonsense this afternoon when he was finally able to open up to me. What if he's upset because I couldn't tell him how I feel? Did I ruin everything? _The thoughts continued to swirl in Lita's head as she watched Randy joking with his friends, a Jack and Coke in his hand. She also didn't fail to notice the group of ring rats that had seemingly materialized out of nowhere the moment Randy had sat down.

"Uh, Lita? Hello? Did you hear anything we just said?" asked Stacy nudging Lita in the side, while downing the remainder of her drink.

"What? Oh, yeah. Christy and Jericho. Interesting combination…" she said trailing off as she continued to stare in Randy's direction. Trish and Stacy followed her gaze, finally spotting Randy Orton leaning back comfortably in a back booth, laughing at something Dave had just said.

"Friends, huh?" whispered Stacy to Trish. Trish smiled and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't going to press Lita anymore on that particular subject – at least not as this moment. She didn't know what was really going on with her best friend and the self-proclaimed Legend Killer, but she knew that when Lita was ready, when she had sorted everything out for herself, she would tell them.

Just then, another fast song started blaring through the speakers. Hearing the song, Trish grabbed Lita by the hand attempting to drag her onto the dance floor. "Come on Li! This is such a great song. Let's dance!"

Lita shook her head. "I think I'll sit this one out. These heels are killing my feet! You guys go – I'm going to finish my drink." Trish tried once more to get Lita out on the dance floor, but when she once again declined, Trish and Stacy went to go dance with some of their other friends who had also made their way onto the floor. Sitting down on an empty stool, she watched her friends. Finally, the DJ began to play a song that was more to her liking and she made her way out onto the floor to join Trish, Stacy, and some of her coworkers. Lita could feel the music washing over her as she turned and came face-to-face with Shane Helms. Smiling at him, the pair began to dance. Lita made sure to keep a comfortable distance between them as they continued to move to the music. Shane yelled to her over the music and she couldn't help but laugh at the goofy look on his face. _I'm actually enjoying myself. I haven't had this much fun in such a long time. It's so nice to be out with my friends again. _she thought as she continued to dance. As another song came on, Lita continued dancing with Shane, cautiously resting her hands on his shoulders.

Randy watched as Lita began dancing with Shane. He watched as she laughed at something he said. He watched as she continued to move around the dance floor – her movements perfectly matching the beat of the music. He watched as she put her hands on his shoulders as a new song started to play. Randy wanted to rush over there and grab her, pull her away from Helms and close to him. He wanted to feel her heartbeat, feel her hands on his shoulders. Randy continued to watch them out on the dance floor, as he finished his drink. Obviously, what he had said to while they had dinner didn't matter – because here she was, dancing with some other guy. And she didn't look like she minded one bit. _Fine. If you want to play the game, we'll play. But it's a game I'm going to win. _Randy thought as he stood up and grabbed a brunette who had been seductively leaning over the back of the booth trying to get his attention all night. Dragging her onto the floor, they began to dance, their bodies moving closer together with each passing moment.

As Lita danced with Shane, her hazel eyes continued to look for Randy. She finally spotted him across the dance floor, her gaze stopping dead when she saw some girl with her arms wrapped around Randy's neck as they danced. She wanted to scream when she saw the girl stand on her tiptoes and whisper something in his ear. Lita could only imagine what it was she was saying. Randy looked back at the girl with a look of astonishment, his eyes wide in disbelief. The look quickly faded when he caught Lita watching him. He lightly pushed the girl away and began making his way towards her, his progress impeded by the people still crowding the dance floor.

Lita, noticing him walking towards her, thanked Shane for the dance and grabbed Trish and Stacy. "Are you guys ready to go? It's two o'clock and we have an early flight tomorrow. I think it's time we head back to the hotel."

"Yeah, you're probably right…we should get going. Come on – I'll get us a cab," said Trish as the divas made their way towards the exit. Randy stopped, watching Lita leave, not even giving him a second glance. _Shit! I really fucked up. But what am I supposed to do? She made it pretty obvious she didn't want to be with me tonight. But I still shouldn't have been hanging all over that chick. I should have been with her. But if the guys saw us together, they would start asking all sorts of questions – about us, about why we're hanging out together…it would be really awkward. I've got to fix this though – make her understand. _Randy yelled to Dave that he was heading back to the hotel. Dave waved his hand in Randy's general direction as he continued to grind up against the blonde in front of him. Randy watched for a second before shaking his head and taking off towards the exit. _I've got to make her understand. _He kept repeating the thought over and over again in his head as he made his way back to the hotel.

_Lita's Room_

After Trish and Stacy dropped her off on her floor, Lita made her way back to her hotel room. After entering the room, she leaned back against the closed door, shutting her eyes for a moment, and thinking back to everything that had happened just moments before. Why had she been so upset seeing him with another woman? _You know that! You know why. _Lita walked over and looked at herself in the mirror. _I wanted to be the girl he was dancing with. I wanted to the one he had his arms wrapped around. I wanted to be the one whispering in his ear. I wanted to be with him tonight…_

Lita jumped when there was a sharp knock on the hotel room door, breaking her out of her thoughts. Looking through the peephole, she took a deep breath before opening the door. Standing in the doorway, arms across her chest, she looked up at the man standing before her.

"Manage to escape from your ring rats?" she asked, the words sounding just as sarcastic as she had meant them to be. She stared at him contemptuously as the expression on his face hardened. Lita knew that all she really wanted to do was tell him what she was truly thinking, but at the moment, her jealousy was getting the better of her.

"Can I come in or do you want to do this in the middle of the hallway?" Randy questioned. Lita hesitated for a moment, before stepping aside, allowing him to enter her room. Randy turned and watched her close and lock the door before he started talking, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Tonight – when I saw you at the club? I don't think I've ever seen you looking so beautiful. And believe me, all I really wanted to do was grab you and hold you and dance with you all night. But do you understand what would happen if I did that? Do you know all the looks and the questions we would be getting? It would have been really awkward – for both of us. So I –"

"So you pretended you didn't see me? That you didn't know me? That we haven't spent all this time together the past few days? " Lita interrupted, her eyes burning with anger.

"I did what I had to do – for both our sakes. Where there are questions – people expect answers. And I don't think you're really ready to answer all those questions are you? So, I played along – I played the part that I'm supposed to…the playboy who chases after rats," he returned, his anger mounting.

Lita laughed sarcastically as she listened to him. "You are something else! You were helping me? You were protecting me from the looks and the questions? Please Randy. You were there to hook up with a cheap piece of ass!"

"I was-I-what?" Randy stuttered. "I was not there to pick up a 'cheap piece of ass' as you so eloquently put it. And what were you doing? Dancing with Shane Helms! I tell you how I feel about you – which was not easy – and you go off with some other guy!"

"Shane and I are friends! I was dancing with a friend…having fun! You seemed to be pretty busy with that rat you picked up! Why do even give a damn who I was dancing with?" Lita shouted.

"How can you ask that?" Randy exploded. "How can you ask that after everything I told you this afternoon? You really think I would do that?" _I had no intention of doing anything with that girl, I just wanted to make Lita feel as jealous as I was. _

"I saw you doing that! She had her arms wrapped around you, whispering in your ear. And you looked like you were more than happy to follow along with anything she had planned!"

"Do you know what's going on in my head?" Randy asked. When he got no answer, he continued. "Because you know what Lita? I sure as hell don't know what's going on in yours. You won't tell me anything! You won't let me get close to you! Why are we even having this argument?" Throwing his hands in the air, Randy glowered at the redhead standing in front of him.

"I was jealous okay? Jealous that you were – oh just forget it," she said shaking her head.

"I will not just forget it. This afternoon, you practically ripped my head off because I wouldn't tell you how I was feeling. Fuck Lita! Tell me – you just said you were jealous? Of what? Tell me, Lita – what were you jealous of tonight?"

"Randy let it go okay? It was some stupid comment. I never should have said anything." Lita turned her back to him, closing her eyes for a moment, trying to gain some control over her emotions.

Randy watched her for a moment before walking to the door. Turning and looking at her, his voice was quiet and controlled when he spoke to her. "God you don't get it do you? I want you so badly – every time I'm near you, all I want to do is wrap my arms around you, to kiss you until the whole world disappears around us. You're driving me crazy, Lita. Do you know how hard it is being with you, but not being able to truly be with you? To not be able to hear that you want me as much as I want you?" When he got no response, Randy sighed, opening the door and walking out of Lita's hotel room.

As soon as she heard the door click shut behind him, Lita sat down on the corner of her bed, letting the tears flow. _I let him walk away. Again. I let him walk out of my life – maybe forever. How could I just let him leave? _Lita looked up at the closed door, realizing what Randy had just confessed to her. Her tears slowed as she wiped the wetness from her cheeks, staring at the closed door with a new resolve. _I can't let him go. I need to tell him how I feel. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll find him and tell him. I just hope it's not too late. _Lita stood up and walked over to her suitcase, grabbing her pajamas. After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she crawled into bed, thinking about what she had to do tomorrow.

_Randy's Room_

Randy slammed his fist against the wall as he entered his room. He saw Dave sprawled out across his bed, passed out and snoring loudly. Even the sound of Randy's hand impacting the wall didn't cause him to stir. Randy just shook his head before pulling a pair of track pants from his bag and walking into the bathroom. He stood, staring at himself in the mirror, the questions swimming in his head. _How could I have gotten so angry at her? How could I have yelled at her like I did? She was jealous of that ring rat? How could I have just walked away? _Randy stood looking at his reflection for a moment longer, before finally changing into his sleeping clothes. Walking out of the bathroom, he placed a glass of water and a couple of aspirin next to Dave's bed before finally climbing into his own bed and pulling the blanket over his head. He closed his eyes and finally fell into a fitful sleep.

_The Next Morning_

Lita woke up the next morning and looked at the clock. Jumping out of bed, she realized that she only had a couple of hours before leaving for the airport. After taking a quick shower, she pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt and grabbed her keycard. Last night, she had agreed to meet Trish and Stacy for breakfast in the hotel restaurant. Waiting for the elevator to arrive, Lita practiced what she was going to say to Randy when they were finally face-to-face again. Stepping through the open doors, Lita punched the button and watched the numbers go down as she made her way to the lobby. The elevator came to a sudden stop on the twentieth floor and Lita could feel her cheeks burning as Randy stepped through the open doors. She averted her gaze, staring blankly at her shoes. Randy, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, watched the redheaded diva, wondering what she was thinking. Lita finally straightened and looked up at him.

Randy pulled off his sunglasses and returned her gaze without blinking. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever.

Just as Lita was about to begin talking, to tell Randy her true feelings, the elevator stopped once again. A large group filed onto the elevator, separating Randy and Lita into the back corners. Randy looked at the redheaded diva over the crowds' heads. He saw her looking back at him, a mixture of sadness, frustration, and something else – he didn't know what – filling her hazel eyes. How he wished all of these people were gone so he could talk to her, so he could hold her.

Lita leaned back, letting out an exasperated sigh. _Of course! Right as I get up enough nerve to actually tell him how I feel, some tour group stops me dead in my tracks. Thank God they're not asking for autographs right now! _She glanced to her left and saw Randy watching her over the crowd of people. She looked back at him, studying his features, trying to read his thoughts. Shaking her head, Lita turned and watched as the floor numbers continued to descend, finally reaching the hotel's lobby. As the group began to exit the elevator, she looked once again over to Randy. She took a step towards him and just as she was about to open her mouth, she heard her name being called.

"Lita! Come on! Stacy got us a table already. Let's move it girl!" called Trish as she walked towards her. Lita hesitated for a moment before slowly walking off the elevator. As Trish reached her, she immediately grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards the restaurant. Casting one last glance behind her, Lita saw Randy watching her walk away, a look of sadness filling his blue eyes.

**Hope you liked reading this chapter. Let me know what you think. Read and review!**


	6. RAW Emotion

**RAW Emotion**

_Randy's Locker Room_

Randy lay on the floor of his locker room in the Bryce Jordan Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He was listening to his iPod and staring blankly up at the ceiling, thinking back on the events of the last couple of days. He had tried desperately to stop thinking about everything that had happened between him and Lita – how he had purposely tried to make her feel jealous, how they had fought, how he had walked away. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to forget – tried to forget the hurt look in her eyes when she had seen him dancing with that girl, the tears that had threatened to fall when he had shouted at her in the hotel room. But he couldn't forget. He thought back to how he had risked his own heart by telling her his true feelings. He thought about how she had risked everything by telling him her secret. He thought back to how she had tried to tell him what she was thinking, what she wanted – but she couldn't say the words. And he hadn't let her. Instead he had just walked away.

Randy was broken from his thoughts when his locker room door was flung open, slamming against the wall. He looked up to see Dave standing in the doorway, giving him a questioning look. After a moment, Dave moved over to the couch, sat down and simply stared at Randy before finally speaking.

"So…what's been going on? You've been acting really strange lately."

"What do mean? Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine," Randy lied as he turned off his iPod, stood up, and began to pace. Dave raised one dark eyebrow at his friend and watched Randy as he tried to wear a hole in the locker room carpet.

"Well, let's see. First you've hardly slept the last couple of nights. You always seem to have something on your mind. You haven't been partying at all. What's the deal?" asked Dave. He was worried about the younger man. He could tell something wasn't right – that something hadn't been right for some days now.

"Thanks for the rundown Dave. Look – I'm fine okay? It's really nothing you need to be worried about," said Randy, as he sat back down on the floor.

"Yeah, but you didn't answer my question. What has been going on with you lately?" Dave persisted.

"Nothing man. I told you, I'm fine…it's nothing!" exclaimed Randy, his voice rising slightly in anger. _Why the hell can't he leave well enough alone? Why can't he just let me figure this out on my own?_

"Dammit Randy, there's something bothering you. It's written all over your face. You never were a very good liar. Does it have something to do with a certain redheaded diva? It does doesn't it?" asked Dave as he saw the expression on Randy's face change immediately from anger to sadness and frustration.

"Look – I already told you. I'm helping her out with something – that's all…"

"It's not all. I can tell. You've got feelings for this girl don't you? And they go way beyond just wanting to help her out with something, am I right?"

Randy stared back at his friend for a moment. _I need to talk to someone about this. If I don't, I'm going to go crazy. I need some advice. And Dave might not be the one-woman type, but maybe he can still help. _"What do you want me to say Dave? That she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen? That I'm totally falling for her? That I want to spend every minute of every day with her? That I want to be with her more than any other woman I've ever met, but I can't? Dave, it's driving me insane. She's driving me insane. I've only really gotten to know her over the past week but I can't get her out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I see her – her smile, her eyes, the curves of her body. I've memorized it all."

"Whoa – I-I…huh." Dave was at a loss for words after Randy's little outburst. He had figured that his young friend had developed feelings for the redheaded diva, but he didn't imagine that his feelings ran that deeply. Dave looked over at Randy, who had laid back down on the floor and was once again staring up at the ceiling. "Well, why can't you? Be with her I mean? Does she know how you feel?" asked Dave.

"Yeah, she knows Dave. But it won't change anything. We got into this argument a couple of nights ago and I walked away. I left her there – alone. And I haven't talked to her since…" Randy trailed off.

"Well, I don't really know what to say. But listen man…whatever is going on between the two of you, just be careful. Remember what I said - " stated Dave.

"Dave, I remember…relationships started during high-pressure situations, intense really fast…I got it the first time. But I can't help it. Every time I'm around her, I just want to hold her. It started out as me just kind of helping her out with this thing, but now I can't imagine my life without her. And to tell you the truth, it scares the shit out of me. I mean, here I am – 25, single, working for one of the top sports entertainment companies in the world, and all I want to do is be with this girl. Even if she can't be with me…"

Dave simply looked at his friend closely for another moment. He wondered what sort of secret there was between Randy and Lita that would prevent them from being together. But, judging by the look on Randy's face at the moment, he knew better than to ask. He could tell that Randy was in no mood to talk about this particular subject anymore.

_In Lita's Locker Room_

Lita sat staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had done that a lot lately – looked at her reflection. Sighing, she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She didn't want to be like this anymore. She didn't want to be scared to go outside alone or hear a man's voice. She didn't want to fear a man's touch or his mere presence. She sat back and thought for a moment. She thought back to the time she had spent with Randy. His voice soothed and comforted her even when she was afraid. When she had woken up in his hotel room after having a nightmare, he had been so kind, so gentle, and she had felt totally comfortable. That thought struck her as odd – she shouldn't feel relaxed and calm in his presence, and yet she was. It was really one of the only times she felt like that. Whenever Randy was around, it was as if nothing could touch her. And because of that, she couldn't walk away. Too much had happened, too much had been said, too many feelings were involved for her to simply end it and say goodbye.

Lita rested her chin in her hand and continued to think, the events of a few nights ago rushing back. How she had danced with Shane, the jealousy she had felt seeing Randy dancing with another woman…the argument. It all came rushing back. And as it did, so did the words Randy spoke to her before leaving her hotel room. _I want you so badly – every time I'm near you, all I want to do is wrap my arms around you, to kiss you until the whole world disappears around us. You're driving me crazy, Lita. Do you know how hard it is being with you, but not being able to truly be with you? To not be able to hear that you want me as much as I want you? _And she hadn't been able to say anything. For so long, she had kept her emotions hidden from everyone. She had lied to her closest friends to keep her secret safe. She had managed to hide everything she was thinking, everything she was feeling. She had learned that, to survive, she had to smile, to pretend that everything was all right, to never let anyone see her weaknesses and fears.

She had almost succeeded. That is, until the night she bumped into Randy. Now it seemed that every time she was near him, all her emotions were on display. He could tell what she was thinking, what she was feeling better than her best friends. He knew when she needed someone to talk to and when she needed to be alone. It seemed like Randy knew her better than she knew herself. She had seen him this morning – walking into the hotel restaurant. She had felt his icy blue eyes watching her as he walked by. If she had returned his gaze, she knew everything she was feeling would be on display for world. She wasn't prepared for that just yet. So instead? Instead she had hidden – again.

She continued to think about Randy, how she hadn't talked to him the last couple of days, how much she missed him. In the past, she would have run to Trish or Stacy to ask them for advice, to ask them to tell her what to do. By doing that though, there would be too many quizzical looks, too many questions. And, at least at the moment, she didn't want to answer their questions. She couldn't answer their questions. _Because I don't know how I would answer them. How do I put into words everything's that has happened, everything I feel for Randy? I wish I could talk to Trish or Stacy like I used to. But I can't. Not right now. Not until I figure this whole thing out for myself first…_

Looking at the clock, Lita realized that she had been sitting in the same position, thinking the same thoughts, for almost an hour. She tried to push all thoughts of Randy out of her head, attempting to focus on her upcoming match with Victoria. As she began working through the moves in her head, Lita was once again distracted when she heard Randy's entrance music begin to play. Abandoning all thoughts of her own match, she began to intently watch the television monitor in her locker room. She watched every move Randy made, noticed how he used his strength and height as an advantage. She finally allowed herself to smile as Randy delivered the RKO. Lita silently cheered as his hand was raised in victory. She realized what she had to do – what she needed to do for herself, for her own sanity – in order to regain control of her life. _I want him. I want to be with him more than I've ever wanted to be with a man. I need to stop hiding. I need to stop lying and trying to convince myself that I'll be fine without him in my life. Because I know it's complete bullshit. I have to find him. I have to tell him…if only it wasn't so damn hard._

_Later That Night_

The matches had ended. The ring was being packed up. And yet Lita still sat in her locker room. She had long since showered and changed into more comfortable clothes and was now thinking about what she needed to do. She had to go find Randy. But would he even still be in the arena this late? She wasn't sure. But she had to find out. Grabbing her duffel bag and unlocking the door, she peaked her head out and examined the goings on in the hallway. There were still quite a few people milling around despite the late hour. Walking down the hall, she cautiously approached his closed locker room door. Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, she raised her hand to knock. Just as her fist was about to make impact, the door was flung open. Lita took an involuntary step backwards, and slowly let her arm fall to her side. Randy was surprised. He hadn't expected Lita to still be in the arena. He stood staring at her for a moment, before offering her a small smile and standing to the side so she could enter. Closing the door behind her, he turned and watched Lita as she sat down on the couch and folded her hands nervously in her lap. Walking over to her, Randy sat down on the floor in front of her and waited. Lita finally looked up at him, apprehension filling her hazel eyes. Randy simply sat there, returning her gaze without blinking. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever.

_I don't want to lose him. _Lita thought.

_I can't lose her. _Randy thought.

"I'm sorry," they both said simultaneously. Randy let out an audible sigh of relief as he noticed a small smile creep onto Lita's lips.

"Li – I feel really badly about everything I said the other night. I don't want to lose you over something so stupid. I can't lose you. You've become too big a part of my life."

"Randy – you asked me to be honest with you. To tell you how I felt. I-I…"

"Randy!" called Trish as she barged into his locker room. "Have you seen –" she stopped as she finally noticed Lita sitting on the couch looking at her. Lita's expression was a mixture of frustration and amusement. _Why can't everyone just disappear so I can say this! I just want to be alone with him for five minutes so I say what I need to say. It's hard enough as it is, without having to be interrupted. _

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. It's just that, Li? Stacy and I are leaving and since we're your ride…" said Trish looking between Randy and Lita as she spoke. What she really wanted to know was what was going on between the two – were they just friends or was it something more? Trish hoped it was the latter. She wanted Lita to be happy, to see her smile again. And if it meant being with Randy, well then…

"It's okay Trish. I can give her a ride. Don't worry about it," interjected Randy from his spot on the floor.

"Li is that okay?" Lita nodded her agreement and gave Trish a small smile. Trish gave her a small wink before turning and leaving the locker room, closing the door softly behind her. Lita rolled her eyes, knowing what the blonde diva was thinking. Taking a breath, she once again focused her attention on Randy. He was still sitting on the floor, watching her, waiting for her to begin the conversation again.

"I guess, I…um…I…" Lita fumbled. Randy leaned forward and lightly grasped her hand in his. He gave her a reassuring smile.

"Just talk to me, Lita. You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I do. It's just really hard. I mean, I keep practicing what I want to say over and over again, but when I actually have to open my mouth and speak the words, nothing comes out and then I –"

"Start rambling. I know. I do the same thing. But, you can trust me. Whatever it is you have to say…just tell me."

"Okay. See, I was thinking – about you and me. And well, I nee-" Lita was once again forced to pause mid-sentence as a knock sounded on the locker room door.

"Mr. Orton, Ms. Dumas? I'm sorry but it's getting late and we really have to start closing everything up," said an arena worker.

"Shit," muttered Lita. "Can't I just get five minutes to say what I have to say? Would that be too much to ask?" Randy smiled again as he stood up and grabbed his duffel bag.

"Come on, I know somewhere we can talk where no one will interrupt us," he said as he gently guided Lita out of his locker room and to the exit of the arena.

_Somewhere Quiet_

"I think this will be better, don't you? More private…fewer interruptions…" Randy said quietly as he guided Lita towards his ultimate destination. Lita looked around, noticing they were in the parking lot outside the arena. It was dark, the only light coming from a few overhead street lamps. There was a slight breeze blowing, making Lita shiver as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her.

"Umm, we're in the parking lot," she said, casting a sideways glance in Randy's direction.

"Yeah – it's just that most everyone has left by now, so there won't be a lot of people around. Are you okay?" he asked as he noticed her shiver again.

"I'm-I'm okay. It's just a little chilly and a little dark, don't you think?" Randy studied her for a moment before speaking.

"Li – we're just going to talk okay? Nothing more. And as far as the dark? Nothing and no one can touch you as long as I'm around." _And that's a promise I intend to keep. I would never let anything happen to her – I couldn't. She's too important to me. _He looked at her with a slight smirk playing on his lips and was rewarded by a small smile from Lita.

Upon arriving at his rental, Randy sat down on the hood of the car and leaned back against the windshield. He closed his eyes for a moment, listening to the virtual silence that surrounded them. Lita watched him for a moment before pulling a sweatshirt from her bag, pulling it on, and joining him. She instantly felt warmer, and laid next to Randy staring up at the stars.

"So…" started Randy, finally opening his eyes.

"So, that was a really good match tonight against Christian. You, uh, you looked really good out there."

"Thanks…" said Randy, with a small chuckle. "It's the best I've felt in the ring in a while. Even if my mind was on something else for most of the match." He turned his head to look at her and noticed she was still staring up at the sky. Feeling his eyes watching her, she finally looking over and met his gaze.

""What were you…" noticing his pointed glance, she stopped. "Oh, I see." _He was thinking about me? Even after everything that's happened between us the last couple of days, he was still thinking about me. I want him so much, it hurts. And that scares me. But I can do this. I can tell him how I feel. I have to tell him how I feel. _Lita blushed and, at least for the moment, was grateful for the dark. Looking back up at the sky, she took a deep breath and sat up, turning to face him. He was still watching her, waiting for her to say what was really on her mind.

"Talk to me Li. You look like you've got a million thoughts in that head of yours. What's going on?" asked Randy. Lita looked at him for a moment. _It's now or never. Talk to him, tell him what you've been thinking, what you feel. You have to do this. You have to open your heart again, trust someone again. _

Almost in a whisper, she said, "I missed you the last couple of days." Randy reached out and gently touched her hand. "It was so hard not being able to talk to you. I-I wanted to go and find you, to see you." Lita stopped and started nervously biting one of her nails.

"I really missed being with you too. At the airport, when I saw you? I wanted to wrap my arms around you. Let you know that I still care about you, that I still want to be with you…"

"I wish-I wish…I have all this stuff going on in my head right now, you know? And I have so many things I want to say to you. It's just so damn hard to put into words."

Randy sat up and turned to face her. He looked down and realized he was still holding her hand – that Lita hadn't pulled away. He offered Lita a small smile and gently squeezed her hand, urging her to continue, to try to put into words what she wanted to say. She looked down at their joined hands, realizing how truly comfortable she was in his presence. Cautiously, carefully, she traced the back of his hand with her index finger. Randy watched her as she slowly explored his hand, seemingly memorizing the different lines and contours. Without looking up, she began to speak.

"Have you ever felt like everything you ever wanted was right in front of you, but at the same time, you feel like it's miles away? That's how I feel right now. That all the pieces of my life are slowly starting to fall back into place, but at the same time, that person that I was is practically a distant memory. I've hidden from everything and everyone for so long, that I've almost forgotten what it is to feel, to feel someone's arms around me, to feel comfortable being with someone…" she trailed off, pulling her hand back into her lap.

"And me? Do you feel comfortable with me?" asked Randy. He looked at her carefully – wanting to gauge her reaction, wanting to see if she would be honest with him, wanting her to tell him how she felt. Lita closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts.

"I-I...I need you. I think that since that morning I woke up in your hotel room, I've wanted to be with you, to have you in my life. You make me feel safe. When I'm with you? There isn't any fear or panic. There's just comfort. You make me feel again Randy. Like I don't have to be in control all the time, that I don't have to keep everything all bottled up. It was so hard not talking to you these past few days, not hearing your voice, not seeing your face. I realized how close I came to losing you. I don't know what I would do if that happened…" she trailed off, beginning to nervously wring her hands.

Randy felt a small smile beginning to creep onto his lips. He wanted to gather her into his arms, right there, and kiss her like there was no tomorrow – just that one moment, that one perfect moment. However, he knew and he understood the courage it had taken Lita to open herself up to him, to tell him how she felt, to tell him that she wanted to be with him. Lita was still looking at Randy, trying to read his expression, when he slid off the hood of the car and stood up, his hand outstretched.

"Dance with me," he said.

"What?" _What kind of response is that? I finally get up enough nerve to tell him how I feel and all he wants to do is dance. In the arena parking lot?_

"Dance with me," he repeated.

"We're in the parking lot of the arena, Randy," Lita said as she glanced around the now empty parking lot.

"So, I don't care. Dance with me," he persisted.

"There's no music," Lita pointed out as she made a gesture with her hand indicating the silence that surrounded them.

"We don't need music. I just want to hold you. Dance with me." Randy continued to hold his hand out to her, waiting for to join him. With a slight shake of her head and an exasperated sigh, she placed her hand in Randy's and slid off the car to stand in front of him. Randy smiled down at her, as he lightly placed his arms around her waist. _Comfort, not captivity. That's what I want her to feel right now. If she wants to pull away from me, if this is too close for her, then she can. I don't want her to feel smothered._

Lita gently rested her hands on his arms as they began to sway to an unheard melody. As the pair continued to dance, Lita moved a bit closer and rested her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat, strong and sure. _This feels right. Like this is where I'm supposed to be, with Randy at this moment, in this place. It's just right. _she thought.

Randy wrapped his arms a bit tighter around her waist, but still not so tight to make her feel uncomfortable. The cool night breeze continued to blow as Randy whispered, "I should have done this all those nights ago. At that club? I should have-"

He was silenced by a finger to his lips. Randy looked down into Lita's hazel eyes. Eyes that were now swimming with happiness and calm.

"Shhh. It's perfect right now. Right this second," she murmured, as she once again laid her head against his chest. "Perfect." Randy rested his chin on her head, as they continued to dance, closing his eyes, and simply enjoying the feeling of finally having her in his arms again. _Where she belongs._ he thought.

* * *

He pulled his hat down lower on his face as he stood in the shadows of the arena, watching her. It had taken him awhile to find her, but now that he had? He wasn't going to let her go. Not this time. He would always be there. Always watching, always waiting. Until just the right moment. A sick smile crossed his face as he imagined everything he would do to her once they were alone again…how he would make her scream.

**Thanks everyone for all the great reviews! I hope you liked this chapter. Please read and review!**


	7. Back

**Back**

_One Week Later _

Lita stood looking out over the backyard of her Sanford, North Carolina home. She watched how the leaves rustled on the trees as a gentle breeze blew, how there just seemed to be an overwhelming sense of peace and calm that surrounded her here – in this place. Her home. In the past, this house was simply a place to sleep when she wasn't on the road, when she had a day or two before she needed to be in the next city. But now? Now it was her refuge. It was the one place she could be where no one asked questions. There were no pressures to pretend she was something she wasn't, no expectations that she should always be happy. It was a relief.

Shivering from the breeze coming in through the window, she pulled on a sweatshirt before opening the door to her bedroom and quietly making her way down the hall, stopping in front of her guest bedroom and glancing inside. The shades had been drawn to keep out the early morning light, darkening the room. Lita padded silently across the hardwood floor until she was standing beside the bed. Glancing down, a soft smile touched her lips. Randy was still sound asleep. He was lying on his stomach, breathing gently, the blanket pulled up tightly around him to keep out the chill, his dark eyelashes contrasting with his tan skin. Lita couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked, how innocent…

_Flashback_

Randy and Lita were sitting in her hotel room having a quiet dinner together. It had been a busy week filled with appearances and autograph signings, and of course the live Monday night show. Both wrestlers were happy to finally have some time to simply relax together and enjoy each other's company. For the last few minutes, they had been chatting easily about wrestling and what they planned to do with their free time.

"So what are you planning on doing over the next few days?" asked Randy. When he got no response to his question, Randy looked up and noticed that Lita was simply pushing her sushi rolls around on her plate, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Randy watched her for a moment, before reaching over and lightly running one finger down her hand. Startled, Lita looked up at him and shook her head slightly.

"Sorry. I tend to do that sometimes. I completely zone out and forget everything else that's going on around me. What were you saying?" asked Lita.

Randy smiled at the redheaded diva before responding. "I was saying, that since we have the next couple of days off before we have to be in Providence, I was wondering what you planned on doing during this little break."

"I'm going home. Definitely going home. I need some time to relax, sort through a couple of things, work on getting my head back on straight. Nothing all that fun or exciting – just enjoying finally having some time off, some time away," she said, as she picked up a piece of sushi with her chopsticks and popped it in her mouth.

"Yeah, this break is definitely needed. You mentioned home – where exactly is that?" asked Randy. With that one question, Randy realized how little he actually knew about the beautiful woman sitting before him. They had been thrown together in an intense situation under the most trying circumstances, both keeping a huge secret from their friends, striving to begin a relationship in the midst of chaos. _It would be so great to be alone with her for these few days, to just be able to talk to her, hold her. God, I would love to go home with her – but I could never, ever suggest it. That would probably make her feel incredibly uncomfortable…and we've made so much progress the last few days – she doesn't pull away from my touch anymore. I don't want to ruin that._

"Home is in Sanford, North Carolina. It's between Raleigh and Fayetteville?" Lita noticed the confused expression on Randy's face and giggled. Randy smiled at the sound – he so rarely heard her laugh, that it was music to his ears. "It's a pretty quiet town, but I love it. There's this place called the Antique Mall in downtown that I like to go to. I like to see if I can find anything new to decorate the house with," she continued. _Should I ask him to come home with me? Ask him to spend the next few days in Sanford? Would he read too much into it? Would he think I wanted to – no! I know he wouldn't. He's been nothing but a gentleman. I know how he feels about me and I know he would never do anything to hurt me. _"Are you going back to St. Louis?" Lita finally asked.

"No – I thought I might just head to Providence. Visit with some old friends who live in the area, that sort of thing," said Randy as he finished his last piece of sushi. Pushing his plate away, he leaned back in his chair, letting out a contented sigh, a small smile forming at the corner of his lips. _This is nice – just the two of us, enjoying a quiet dinner. No interruptions, no friends asking questions, wanting answers…no one but us._

"Randy? Are you okay?" questioned Lita, concern showing in her hazel eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking that this is nice. The two of us being here together, like this? It's quiet and peaceful and we can just talk. I like being with you like this."

"Me too. Somehow this just seems right, you know? I don't know – that sounds kind of silly I guess," said Lita, ducking her head and blushing slightly at her words.

"You look cute when you do that – blush, I mean. Your cheeks match your hair," said Randy as he reached out and ran his finger gently down Lita's cheek.

Lita looked up and stared at Randy for a moment. She offered him a small smile. Yes, she felt comfortable in Randy's presence. Yet, at the same time, in the back of her mind, there was always a touch of nerves, something that would never allow her to completely relax – something that would always keep her slightly on edge. And despite everything she had been through, she was here – in this room, with this man, starting to live her life again, starting to feel again, starting to believe again that she would be okay – that it would just take time.

"So you're not going home then?" she asked, taking a sip of water and leaning back slightly in her chair.

"I guess not. I don't know. I still might change my mind and head home, but my family is away on vacation at the moment, so they're not around and I just don't feel like hanging around my apartment by myself for three days…" mused Randy.

"Oh. I understand that. Well, why don't you just come home with me then?" The words slipped from Lita's mouth before she even had a moment to think. She looked at Randy with wide eyes and a slightly surprised expression on her face. _Oh shit! I can't believe I just asked him like that. Yeah, the thought crossed my mind, but still… _

"Are you sure? I mean, are you sure you want me to come home with you?" he asked, carefully watching her facial expressions.

Lita thought for a moment, before responding. _Do I really want him to come home with me? Yes, I do. I want him to – I want to spend these next few days with him. Just the two of us._ "I think it would be good. I'd like the company – at least I'd like your company. As long as you don't mind just hanging around eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and watching movies."

Randy shook his head in response to her comment. He had never, in all his life, seen anyone with the capacity to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream like Lita did. "I don't mind. I think it would be nice. And I'd really like to get to know you better."

Lita looked at the man sitting in front of her in amazement. Since the night she had told him how she needed him in her life, she had felt a sense of peace. Yes, she still was weary of dark parking lots and loud noises, but with Randy there was nothing but comfort. When he had held her in his arms and danced with her, she had never felt so cared for, so wanted, so cherished. "I'd like that very much as well…"

_End of Flashback_

So he had flown home with her to Sanford. And now Lita stood watching Randy sleep in her guest bedroom. She reached out and gently traced the contours of his face with her finger. A smile crept onto Randy's lips as he slowly opened his eyes. Looking up, he noticed Lita standing over him, watching him. The early morning sun cast shadows across her face, making her look more exotic than usual.

"This a pretty good way to wake up in the morning," he whispered as he reached out and captured Lita's hand in his, pulling her down to sit on the edge of the bed beside his prone body. "I think I could get used to this."

Lita stared down into Randy's blue eyes. She felt her heart begin beating faster as she gazed at his face. He was looking at her through eyes filled with such passion, desire, and need. Lita felt a shiver run down her spine. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to look away. But, his icy eyes seemed to captivate her, hold her, pull her towards him.

Randy returned her stare, not blinking, barely breathing. Her hazel eyes were looking at him – just watching, waiting, her lips slightly parted. He noticed the flushed appearance of her face, the way her bright red hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. He thought she had never looked so beautiful. Slowly, he leaned up onto his elbows until his face was only inches from hers. Lita subconsciously licked her lips, as Randy's glance flickered briefly to her mouth. Looking back up to her eyes, Randy saw the hesitation reflected in them, the fear. Not fear of him – he knew that now. But fear of taking that next step forward, fear of falling into something she wasn't prepared for yet.

Lita's emotions were conflicted. She didn't know whether to run from the room and hide or press her lips to his, let him wrap his arms around her, feel his body against hers. She wanted to feel that passion again, that desire, that heat. But she couldn't – not yet. _I just can't give myself over to him…if I were to let go, let him kiss me, I-I…it's just too soon. Too soon to let go…too soon…_ Looking away, she stood up from the bed, taking a deep breath as she did so.

"I-I better go make us some breakfast. Are eggs okay?" she stammered. Before Randy could answer, she scurried from the room, leaving behind silence in her wake. Flopping back on the bed, Randy let out an exasperated sigh and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before climbing out of bed. _So close and still so far away. Patience – that's the key. Let her make the first move. When she's ready… _he thought as he pulled on a pair of track pants and made his way downstairs.

_The Kitchen_

Lita was just pouring the eggs into a heated pan when Randy walked into the kitchen. "I hope scrambled is okay?" she asked, not looking up from the stove. Randy studied her for a moment before speaking.

"Lita? Don't run from me…please?" he begged.

"Randy, I-I um…I'm sorry," she said quietly as she stirred the eggs in the pan.

Randy couldn't believe she was apologizing to him. She had nothing to be sorry about. She had invited him into her home, let him stay with her. But, she wasn't ready for that next step yet – and Randy completely understood how difficult, how scary, the physical aspect of a relationship was going to be after everything she had gone through.

Randy watched Lita as she scooped the eggs onto two waiting plates. He slowly walked towards her, stopping to stand behind her. Lightly wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her gently to him so her back was against his bare chest. He could feel how tense she was, how uncertain she was about taking that next small step in their relationship. He noticed that her hand shook slightly as she placed the pan back on the stove.

"I would never do anything you don't want me to Li," he whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I would never do anything to hurt you. And I would never want you to feel uncomfortable or afraid around me…" He could feel the tension slowly starting to ease from her body, could feel her beginning to relax against him.

Turning in his arms, her eyes widened for a moment as she realized he wasn't wearing a shirt, but then she leaned her head against his chest, enjoying the warmth of his skin. "Randy…I'm not sure I'm ready yet. It's still so soon. After everything that's happened, I-I just don't think I can be with you – in that way – right now," she choked out as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"I know that and I completely understand. But I promised you Li – that first night – that I would be there for you. And I'm not planning on going anywhere. I can wait for you…for as long as it takes…I'll wait for you," Randy said, as he wrapped his arms more firmly around her. He hated to see her cry, hated it when she was sad. She had been sad for too long now – he wanted to do everything in his power to make her happy.

"Forever is a long time Randy. Are you really willing to wait that long?" asked Lita as she released herself from his hold, crossing her arms protectively in front of her. Randy felt the tension once again fill the room, felt her withdrawing from him. She picked up their plates from the counter and moved to place them on the table. Randy watched her movements, noticed how she refused to look at him. He didn't want to lose the seemingly fragile trust that had developed over the past couple of weeks. He couldn't lose that trust; he couldn't lose her. Randy took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, to relax the strain in his muscles, to gain some amount of control over his emotions.

As Lita turned to make her way back into the kitchen, Randy took a step towards her, blocking her path. Hooking a finger under her chin, he lifted her eyes to him. He took a moment, simply looking into her eyes, trying to tell her without words what he was thinking. After a moment, Lita averted her gaze, her eyes wandering, studying the room, looking at anything except the man standing before her.

"I'm here with you aren't I?" asked Randy, in a voice choked with emotion. Lita looked up at him, surprised. She could hear the hurt in his voice, could her how his voice shook slightly as he spoke. He looked at her, his gaze never wavering. Taking a breath to steady himself, Randy continued. "This is where I want to be. You're the woman I want to be with. You captivate me Li. I close my eyes and I see you – your eyes, your smile, your beauty. You're in my dreams when I sleep and when I'm awake, I just want to be close to you, to hold you in my arms. So, when you ask me if I'm really willing to wait that long? My answer is yes. I want it all – the good, the bad, the happy-"

"The fear?" interrupted Lita. "The nightmares? The worry?" She started to push past him then, but Randy grasped her arm and pulled her back towards him. Lita looked at him with wide, questioning eyes.

"I just want you. All of you. And for however long it takes? Well, then that's how long I'll wait. And as for all that other stuff? The fear, the nightmares, the worry – you're going to get through it Li. And I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

Lita was silent. _I have no words right now. He's willing to give it all up for me – the parties, the late nights, everything. He's not running away…_

"You-you're sure? It's an awful lot to ask Randy. I mean, you-"

"It's not a lot to ask. If this was something I didn't want to do, if you weren't someone that I really honestly and truly cared about, then I would never have even come here to Sanford, spent this time with you. I want you Li – your heart, your soul, your mind, your body. I want it all," Randy said quietly as he ran his fingers through her bright red hair. A smile slowly curved the corners of Lita's lips. She gazed up into his unblinking sapphire eyes and knew, she just knew that every word he had spoken to her was true. Randy ran his finger gently down her cheek and leaned down close to whisper in her ear. "Trust me, Li. Let it all go, just for a little while, and trust me…"

Lita let out a shaky sigh. Having him so close, feeling his warm breath on her skin, was making her knees feel weak. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain some amount of composure. However, even when she closed her eyes, she could still hear his softly spoken words, see him standing before her with that lopsided smile.

"I trust you Randy. You're about the only person I do trust nowadays. The only person I feel completely comfortable around. And that scares the shit out of me, because it shouldn't be that way. I shouldn't feel that way – I just like being with you I guess. When I'm around you, when we're together? I feel free – well, almost," she said with a shaky laugh. "I know that I'm safe, that you would never do anything to hurt me." Her eyes once again fell briefly to his lips as she pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. _Now all I have to do is lean in and kiss him. I want to, God knows I want to. I came so close to kissing those full red lips this morning. Just like Randy said…let it go. Let it all go – the fear, and the worry, and uncertainty – and just be in the moment…_

Randy closed his eyes for a moment and lowered his head, letting out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. For a while, he thought he had lost her – that she had changed her mind about being with him, about wanting him in her life. Lita was watching him and was floored by the flood of emotions that crossed his face. He actually looked scared, that he had been afraid of what she would say, how she would react to them almost kissing. She took a step towards him. Gently lifting his head so he was looking at her, she reached up and ran her hand tentatively down his cheek. Randy shuddered at her touch. The next thing he knew, Lita's lips were pressed gently against his, her arms moving to encircle his neck. His arms went instinctively around her waist, but he continued to let Lita control the kiss.

As quickly as it had begun, Lita ended the kiss and stepped out of Randy's embrace. "Our breakfast is probably cold. I, uh – I better put it in the microwave for a minute," she whispered as she gave him a small smile before turning and grabbing the plates off the table, making her way back into the kitchen. Randy stood in shocked silence, his eyes wide at what had just transpired. He instinctively brought his hand to his lips, trying to hold the memory of that kiss.

"Wow…" It was the only thing that came to mind. He whispered that one word as he watched her disappear into the kitchen.

_Later that day…_

The sun was beginning to set, lighting the sky in beautiful hues of red, yellow, and orange. A light breeze blew, rustling the leaves. A sense of peace and quiet seemed to descend over everything the sun touched. Randy and Lita sat quietly on the front porch of her home, simply staring out across the yard. Although neither spoke, the silence that surrounded them was, in no way, uncomfortable. On the contrary – it was almost the perfect ending to a perfect day. The pair had spent the day relaxing, talking about their lives, their hopes for the future, what each wanted to do when they could no longer wrestle. They did not, however, talk about the events of the morning – mainly – the kiss.

Randy sat with his arm resting lightly across Lita's shoulders. He smiled as he looked down at the redheaded diva – she looked so comfortable – her head resting gently on his shoulder, her breathing relaxed and even, her hand lying on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Randy once again looked out over the front yard of her home, admiring the gardens, enjoying the quiet, enjoying holding this beautiful woman in his arms. And yet, there was something bothering him. Something that he had wanted to ask her since this morning.

"Li?" Randy asked quietly, as he shifted slightly in his seat, drawing her closer to him. He was unsure how to bring up the subject – how to ask her about the kiss. He wanted to know why she had done it, what had made her change her mind so suddenly. Minutes before, she had seemed so frightened, so fearful of even being physically close to him. And then – wham! – her lips were on his. _I'm not saying I didn't like it – because I sure as hell did. That kiss was absolutely amazing – mind blowing. And it didn't even last that long or lead to anything else. Maybe it's because I was, for the first time in my life, kissing someone who I really and truly care about. But I still want to know why – why did she suddenly change her mind. Why did she decide to kiss me?_

"Hmmm?" murmured Lita. At this moment, she was too comfortable, too relaxed to actually respond, yet there was something in his voice that concerned her. She slowly sat up and turned to face Randy, unconsciously crossing her arms in front of her – her protective mechanism when she was nervous or worried about something. Lita looked into his eyes for a moment, saw the apprehension, the confusion, and drew her arms more tightly around herself, just looking at him. Randy noticed the look that flashed across her face, noticed that she seemed uncertain, slightly withdrawn, and offered her a lopsided smile before reaching out and carefully pulling her hands into his. He studied her for a moment before speaking.

"This morning? When you kissed me? Umm…why…" he looked at her helplessly, not quite sure how to put into words what he really wanted to ask. Lita returned his stare, trying to sort through her own thoughts, her own feelings before responding. Looking down at their entwined hands, she knew her answer, knew exactly why she had chosen to kiss him, why she had let her guard down for that brief moment, and went with her heart instead of her head. She looked back up into his eyes, those captivating blue eyes, and gave him a small smile.

"I did it because I wanted to. I did it because you're the man I want to be with. You're the man who has kept my secret, even when it meant lying to your best friend. You're the man who held me when I woke up crying from a nightmare. You're the man who is willing to stay in a hotel room and order takeout instead of going to restaurants because you know I don't like being outside at night. You're the man who is willing to wait for me, wait until I'm ready to take that next step forward…you're the man who makes me feel safe, comfortable, cared for. That's why I kissed you this morning. For no other reason." _Except that I had to be the one to do it – I had to kiss him first in order to take back some amount of control over my own life. It had to be my choice, my move…it had to be me kissing him. Me. _"Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Well-uh…yeah, I guess. I mean, it just surprised me is all…" said Randy, becoming slightly flustered as Lita sat quietly, continuing to watch him. Laughing softly, she squeezed his hands reassuringly. _He's usually the one comforting and supporting me; I wonder why suddenly he's so unsure of himself._

"It surprised me too. But Randy? It was something I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss you. For one second, I needed to push aside the fear, the uncertainty, push away everything and just be in the moment. I needed to take back that part of my life, take control of the feelings I've had for you, the-the desire I have for you…" she said trailing off. "Even if, for right now, I can only express that in a kiss." Lita looked at him, hoping he would understand what she was trying so desperately to explain to him.

She was almost shocked to see the look in his eyes – there was no more apprehension, no sign of confusion, just absolute longing and desire. He was staring down at her, his blue eyes telling her exactly what he was feeling – he wanted her – and was willing to except whatever she could give him, whatever she was comfortable with.

She saw his eyes flicker briefly to her lips before his trademark smirk appeared.

Pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he bent forward and whispered, "So, would it be okay if I kissed you this time?" Lita's breath hitched as she felt his hot breath against her neck, felt him let go of her hands and slowly drag his fingertips up her bare arms, making her shiver.

Letting out a shaky breath, Lita answered. "I, um…I think I would…I would like that. If you kissed me…"

Randy stared deeply into her eyes for a moment, looking for any sign of hesitation, any indication that this was not what Lita wanted. When he saw nothing resembling uncertainty, he slowly leaned forward and just as his lips were about to touch Lita's –

"I, um…I better get that," said Lita, pulling away and staring into his eyes for a moment before turning and racing inside to answer the ringing telephone. Randy watched her run back into the house, and sat back in the porch swing, letting out a frustrated groan. _I don't need to rush things with her – remember that. She's not going anywhere. I'm most definitely not going anywhere. We have all the time in the word to be together. _With that thought, Randy stood up and made his way inside. Entering the kitchen, he saw Lita leaning against the counter, twirling a finger in her hair.

"Trish – wait, slow down, what-what were saying?" asked Lita, as she looked at Randy and smiled. Randy winked at her, before grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator and heading into the living room to watch some television.

"Geez Li. Will you pay attention! I said…guess where we're going to be doing a show in three weeks?" asked Trish with an exasperated sigh, as she lounged in her Toronto home. She was surprised to hear her friend sounding so calm. Maybe the few days of rest and relaxation had done her some good. Maybe when they were back on the road, Lita would finally be comfortable talking to her friends about what had been going on the last few months. Maybe.

"Um, let me check," said Lita as she turned to look at the calendar that was hanging up on the wall. "We're going to be in New Hampshire. Manchester, I think. What's the big deal about that?"

Trish sighed again into the phone and Lita could almost picture her best friend rolling her eyes. "Have you not checked your e-mail or your cell phone messages the past three days? The show in Manchester was cancelled. There's been a lot of rain up there, and part of the arena roof sprung a major leak and flooded the place. So they've moved it to another venue!" exclaimed Trish, her excitement growing with each passing word.

"So, then where are we going? Please tell me we don't have to fly across the country or something. I'm definitely not in the mood to spend nine hours on a plane. Now, will you just tell me already? The suspense is killing me!" said Lita with a small laugh.

Trish smiled at the sound. It was nice to hear her friend laughing, if only for a moment. It was a sound she hadn't heard in a very long time. "We're going to Boston! Can you believe it? I already talked to Stacy and she is just as excited. We're going to have so much fun. We'll go back to that club we went to last time…we'll dance, we'll have margaritas! It'll be great…" Trish continued to ramble on about how excited she was about returning to Boston, but Lita had stopped listening.

She pulled the phone away from her ear and stood staring at it in disbelief. Lita could hear Trish still talking. At the same time, she felt her throat beginning to close, felt the tears beginning to slide down her cheeks, felt her hands beginning to shake. She let out a small whimper as she slid to the floor, grasping the phone tightly in her hand.

"Lita? Li? Li? Are you still there? Li, what's wrong? What happened? Lita?" called Trish over the phone. _What is going on? What the hell is going on? _wondered Trish as she continued to call Lita's name. She was becoming increasingly worried about her friend, especially as the silence continued to grow on the other end of the phone. Lita could hear her voice, but she was unable to respond, too gripped by fear to form a rational thought or sentence.

Randy, walking back into the kitchen to see if Lita was done with her phone conversation, was instantly concerned as he saw the woman he deeply cared for emotionally falling apart before him. He noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks, noticed how her hands were shaking, noticed how she was gripping the phone so tightly that her knuckles were almost white. Kneeling down in front of Lita, he pried her hand off the phone, still hearing Trish's concerned voice calling through the receiver.

"She'll have to call you back." And without another word, he hung up the phone.

_What the hell is going on? What did I say that would make Lita just stop talking? What would make her cry? She seemed relaxed, almost happy a minute before and then it all changed. What happened? _Trish thought, a concerned look crossing her face. _And who's voice was that? I recognize it…who…who? Randy! Holy shit, it was Randy! What is Randy doing in Sanford? _Trish immediately dialed Stacy's number to tell her what had happened, now more worried about her friend than ever before.

Randy sat down next to Lita, carefully pulling her into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around her. She immediately gripped his t-shirt with her hands, the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks. Lita wanted to tell Randy what Trish had said, explain why she was so upset, but no coherent thoughts would form in her head, no words would come out of her mouth. All she could think about was that she was going back – back to her hell, her living nightmare. _How am I going to do that? How am I going to go back? _she thought as she continued to cry in Randy's arms.

Randy simply held her, rocking her gently, stroking his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her. "Talk to me Li. What happened? What's got you so upset?" he asked, barely above a whisper. _I've never seen her like this. In all the time I've known her, I've never seen her so frightened, so vulnerable. I-I don't know what to do…I don't know what to say…_

Lita buried her head in his chest, practically choking on her words, and whispered, "We're going back…"

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed...it really means a lot to me. Hope you liked this chapter. Please read and review!**


	8. Comfort in Silence

**Comfort in Silence**

Randy had held Lita in his arms while she cried, her words repeating themselves over and over again in his head. _We're going back. _He had known within seconds that she was talking about going back to Boston, going back to the place she feared, going back to the placed that had haunted her nightmares for months. Randy had watched her sink to the floor, bury her face in her hands, and cry. In the weeks he had known her, he had never seen Lita fall apart like that – and it terrified him. He hadn't known what to do or say. Instead, he had held her, held her shaking form while she screamed and cried in his arms…

Darkness had finally settled over the house, as Randy carefully lifted Lita in his arms and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. Randy sat down on her bed, bracing himself against the headboard, yet he still held her in his arms, not willing to let her go just yet. Lita sat in his lap, her hands clutching the fabric of his t-shirt, her head buried in his chest, tears streaming down her face. _I was finally getting better. Things were finally starting to get back to normal. But now – if I close my eyes? I'll see his face, I'll hear his voice. And nothing is going to stop it…_

Randy felt her tears soaking the fabric of his shirt. Sighing, he began to lightly draw small circles on her back, hoping the small gesture might begin to calm the crying diva. As time passed, he could feel her beginning to relax, somewhat, in his arms as he continued to caress his fingers along her spine, although her tears did not stop. At the moment, Randy felt completely helpless. He hated seeing her cry, hated seeing the pain in her eyes, hated the fact that there was nothing he could do to make it better.

Pulling her more tightly against him, he whispered, "Baby? You can do this. Everyone has to face their demons some time…and this is your time. You can be strong…you can be brave. You can go back to Boston and face your nightmare. You can't stop living. If you do, then he wins. You know I'll be right by your side…I'll never leave you…" He glanced down for a brief moment and noticed that Lita's eyes were closed, although he was almost positive she wasn't asleep.

Turning on the bedside lamp, Randy glanced at his watch, noticing that it was after midnight. "Li? It's late…do you, um…do you want to try getting some sleep?" he asked. When he got no response, he slowly stood up, still holding her in his arms, and laid her gently down on the bed. Her red, puffy, tear-stained face looked back up at him. She looked so lost, so scared – and it tore his heart out. Grabbing the blanket from the end of the bed, he carefully placed it over her prone body, and looked down at her once more before moving towards the door.

"Where are you going?" The hoarse whisper stopped Randy in his tracks as he turned and, in two long strides, was once again standing beside the bed. Squatting down so he could look into Lita's eyes, he gently pushed some loose strands of hair off her face.

"I was just going to get you some water. That's all…I was coming right back," Randy said with a small smile, as he pulled the blanket more tightly around her. "I'll be right back," he whispered as he gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. Standing up, he walked towards the doorway and turned back. "Right back," he smiled reassuringly before disappearing down the hallway.

Lita closed her eyes for a moment, opening them quickly after just a few seconds. _How can I go back? You know what…I can't do it – I can't, _the voice in her head kept repeating over and over. And then another voice took over – Randy's voice. _Yes you can! Everyone has to face their demons some time…and this is your time. You can do this – you can be strong…you can be brave. You can go back to Boston; you can face your nightmare. You can't stop living. If you do, then he wins. _

"I hope you're right Randy. I really hope you're right," Lita whispered into the semi-darkness of the room, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"What were you saying?" asked Randy as he walked back into the room, placing a bottle of water on the bedside table. He looked down at Lita and immediately noticed that she looked a bit calmer, and yet, he could still sense the undeniable fear that lingered there, could still see the tension throughout her body. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, he grasped her hand in his, tracing small circles on her palm with his thumb.

Lita looked up at him for a moment before responding. "It was nothing." Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Nothing. Just thinking out loud." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before speaking again. "Randy?" she quietly asked. Randy tilted his head and looked into her hazel eyes, while he continued to lightly run his thumb on the palm of her hand. "Please don't leave me tonight. I'm afraid of what I'll see, what I'll hear in the dark. Please – stay with me, hold me…just for tonight," she asked, as the tears began to once again trickle down her cheeks. It had been a long time since she had shared her bed with someone else, but she needed Randy tonight. She needed to feel his arms around her, holding her close.

With the pad of his thumb, he wiped away the tears that fell from her hazel eyes. "Move over sweetheart," whispered Randy as he pulled back the blanket and turned off the bedside lamp. Sliding in beside her, he put his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest. Lita turned to face Randy and brushed her hand against cheek.

"Thank you Randy. You've done more for me than you'll ever know." Sighing, she closed her eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep. Randy looked down at the beautiful woman sleeping in his arms. _Having you here with me, in my arms, I couldn't ask for anything more._ Kissing her forehead, Randy closed his eyes, pulling Lita tighter against him, finally feeling sleep overtake him.

_Later That Night_

Randy was shaken from his slumber some hours later by a noise coming from the small form lying next to him in bed. He rolled over, noticing how the moonlight cast shadows across her body. Her shoulders were shaking and he heard her sniffling softly. She was obviously trying not to awaken him, but it seemed that he had become so in-tune with her emotions and needs, that his subconscious had forced him to wake up.

"Li? Baby?" he called softly, touching her shoulder. "Did you have a nightmare?" Randy gently ran his fingers across her shoulders, waiting for Lita to respond.

Lita suddenly turned towards him, burying her face in his chest, still shaking. "The same one I've been having since this whole thing started. I thought the nightmares were finally going away. I-I hadn't one in a few days. But now, with everything going on…" she whispered, trying to get control of her tears.

"Is there anything I can do? Should I turn on a light? Do you want some water? " he asked, reaching for the bottle of water he placed next to the bed earlier that night. When he turned back to her, Lita looked up into his eyes, her tears slowly stopping and beginning to dry on her cheeks. For a moment, she just continued to look at him. Finally, she was able to speak.

"No-no lights. Water would be good though…" she whispered as Randy handed her the water and watched her take a long drink. Her cheeks were still stained with her tears, her eyes were still filled with fear, her hands were still slightly shaking. Without a word, Lita handed him back the bottle and he placed it back on the nightstand before turning to look at her again. Wrapping his arms protectively around her, he held her close to him, one arm around her shoulders, the other resting lightly on her hip. Lita laid her head against his chest, feeling his heart beat steady and strong beneath her hand.

"Do you want to tell me about it? Your nightmare?" he asked softly.

"It's always the same. I can see him waving that knife in my face, cutting the buttons away from my blouse, covering my mouth with his hand so I can't scream…" her voice faded away and Randy could feel her small frame beginning to shake again, as she held his t-shirt in one of her hands. "And then he starts repeating those words over and over again. _You scream, you die_. Over and over again. Over and over again. And I can't escape! I can't run!" Tears were again pouring down her cheeks as she relived her nightmare in vivid detail.

"Shhhh, sweetheart. Shhhh…it's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay…" he whispered as he pulled her closer to him. "I'll always be here to protect you. From everything." Randy continued to hold her as he gently rubbed small circles on her back, feeling Lita's ragged breathing beginning to return to normal. He may have seemed calm on the outside, his voice offering her quiet words of comfort. However, his eyes revealed his true feelings. Inwardly, Randy was seething. Here he was, with his incredible woman, who, in an instant, had had her life changed forever. Randy wanted to find the guy who had done this to her, who had crushed her spirit – and hurt him. Hurt him ten times more than he had hurt Lita.

"I-I know Randy," said Lita as her tears began to slow. She wiped fiercely at her eyes, and shifted so she was lying on her back, breaking from Randy's embrace. _I hate feeling this way – weak and vulnerable. That's not me…it's not who I am. I'm not the kind of person who just rolls over and dies because something bad happens. I'm stronger than that, braver than that, better than that. Like Randy said, if I give up, then he wins. And I'm not ready for that to happen. He's not going to win – he's not going to beat me. It's my life. Mine! And I'm going to live, and-and love. And he is not going to stop me. I'm determined that he, whoever he is, will not control my life anymore. I'll control my own fate. _

Randy looked down at her, the moonlight illuminating her features. He noticed the almost defiant look in her hazel eyes, and knew, somehow, that Lita would not give up, that she was going to face her fears, that she would come out of this whole thing even stronger than before. Offering her a sweet smile, Randy gently kissed her forehead.

"I want you to close your eyes now and try to fall back to sleep. And if you want to dream about anything – dream about me," he said, offering her one of his famous smirks as he rolled over, wrapping one arm protectively around her waist and burying his face in Lita's shoulder. Lita could feel his warm breath on her neck and she instantly began to relax. Closing her eyes, she thought about Randy and everything he had done for her the past few days – how he had listened, and held her, been there for her like no other man ever had before. She thought about that as she once again drifted to sleep.

* * *

He sat in his hotel room, holding the picture of her in his hand. _You're so beautiful, so sweet. We'll be together again soon my love. Back in the city where we first met, where we first came together…and then you will be all mine. I know he stayed at your house – the little pretty boy. That's right…I was there. Didn't I tell you I'd always be there, watching your every move? But he's not a real man. I'm what you need…_Crumpling the picture in his hand, he walked out on the balcony of his room, and stood staring out into the darkness. Extending his hand over the railing, he let go of the picture, watching as it fell and eventually disappeared into the blackness below. A low, sinister laugh erupted from his throat as he walked back into his hotel room. _I'm the man who can make your blood run cold, who can make you shake with fear, who can make you scream…__

* * *

__The Next Morning_

Lita awoke with a start the next morning, but immediately relaxed when she felt Randy's strong arm wrapped around her waist. She rolled over carefully, hoping not to wake him if he was still asleep, only to be met by his bright blue eyes. Randy was intently watching her and pulled her closer to him as he gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. Getting up, he made his way into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Lita pulled Randy's discarded sweatshirt on over her own t-shirt and sat on the edge of the bed, her head resting in her hands. Lita looked over as she heard the door opening behind her, attempting a small smile as Randy reappeared. Turning, she looked straight ahead, a quiet sigh escaping her lips. She felt the bed dip behind her under Randy's weight and then a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. Lita relaxed into Randy hold and closed her eyes.

"I wish we could stay here longer," she said. "I love it here – everything is so quiet, so calm, so peaceful. There are no questions, no one demanding that I smile and be happy all the time…"

Randy placed his chin on her shoulder, just kneeling on the bed behind Lita listening to the silence. He had to admit that it was peaceful. But despite the tranquility and stillness that seemed to fill the room, Randy couldn't help but also feel the fear that had consumed Lita the night before. Feeling Randy's grip tightening around her waist, Lita pulled away from him and shifted on the bed so she was facing him.

"Umm, about last night…it means a lot that you were there. It seems like you're always there right when I need you," said Lita.

"I promised I would be. But I have to tell you Li – it terrified me – to see you crying, screaming, shaking with fear, to hear you describe what's in your head. To hear you say the words he said to you. It just…oh hell, I don't even know what to say."

"Then don't say anything. You were there last night when I really needed you to be and you listened and held me. Randy, I don't know why exactly you were there outside the arena that night, but I'm glad it was you," Lita said, grasping one his hands in hers.

"I'm glad it was me too. Really glad," he said with a small smile. Randy gazed into her eyes and, after a moment, pulled Lita gently into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He began to comb his fingers lightly through her hair, as he felt her slowly relax in his embrace. Leaning down, Randy whispered in her ear. "So, I never got to kiss you yesterday…"

Lita looked up and studied his features for a moment. _It's so strange – these feelings I have for him. I can't imagine my life without him. He's been there whenever I've needed him, when I've needed someone to talk to, when I needed someone to hold me, when I needed someone to just be there for me. _"No…you never did…" she murmured as she nervously bit her bottom lip.

Randy noticed the small action, saw the blush once again creep up on her cheeks, and he smiled. He looked straight into her eyes, his hands settling on her waist. She looked back at him with complete trust and he took that as his cue. Lowering his lips to hers, he lightly caressed her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Randy heard her quick intake of breath and wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist. Kissing her full on the lips now, his tongue slowly began to explore her mouth, and he was a bit surprised when he felt Lita's tongue tentatively begin to massage his own and her arms wrap tightly around his neck.

When it finally became necessary to breath, Randy pulled away and gazed down at the woman he held so gently in his arms. He sat there for a moment, simply watching her, looking into her hazel eyes. Randy felt her molding into his touch, and he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to stay this way forever – with her, in this place, where no one could touch them, where silence was comfortable, where the walls kept them safe and protected. However, he knew it was unrealistic. _But if I could, I would stay here forever. Right like we are – at this moment – with her, comfortable in my arms, not talking, not thinking, just being. If I could, I would take her away from everything, protect her from heartbreak, and sadness, and fear. I would protect her from it all. _

"You're going to be okay. You know that right?" asked Randy as Lita made a move to stand up. He watched as she walked over towards the window and stood absently staring into the space below. Randy noticed that she did that a lot – stood staring out windows down at the world as if she was searching for answers to unasked questions.

Lita turned away from the window and, without a word, walked over and stood before Randy. She placed her hands lightly on his shoulders, situating herself between his thighs. She stared deeply into his eyes for a moment before whispering, "Will I Randy? Will I be okay? Will everything be okay? Because I'm just not sure anymore…"

Lita turned to move away from him. Randy reached out and lightly grasped her wrist, pulling her back until she was once again standing before him. Reaching up to brush a wayward strand of her fiery red hair away from her face, he gently let his fingers caress down her cheek.

"Li, I can't make any promises or guarantees. If I could, I would take you away from everything. Protect you from heartbreak, and sadness, and fear. I would protect you from it all…" Randy said, his words mirroring his thoughts from only moments before. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "But I can't. What I can do is stand by you, support you, be there when you need someone to hold you. I know this is going to be hard for you, one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I also know that if you don't go to Boston, if you decide to stay here, if you decide to hide, then that monster wins. He wins, Lita. Do you understand? He wins!" Randy stood up as he said this last part, lightly gripping Lita's shoulders.

"Maybe I would rather he win, if it meant I didn't have to deal with this anymore. Maybe it would just be easier to run and hide. Maybe I just can't do it…." The seemingly strong resolve that she had the previous night, had begun to crumble. Upon further reflection, it seemed that going back to Boston, back to the source of her pain, was going to be even more difficult than she had first anticipated.

"You have every right in the world to be scared after all that's happened. But don't run and hide. Don't give him the satisfaction…" Randy stated a bit more calmly. "You're greatest revenge? You're greatest revenge is to live your life how you want to live it…and I'll be with you – every step of the way…"

Lita looked up at him in wonderment. _Live my life the way I want to live it…be the person I want to be…Take back control of my life. _All of these thoughts were a floating through Lita's mind. With a slight nod of her head, Lita knew that she couldn't keep living her life in half-measures; that she needed to become a complete, whole person again. _I guess it's time. Time to stop being afraid, stop looking over my shoulder every time I hear a strange noise. Time to push aside the weakness. And with Randy by my side… _Rising up on her tiptoes, she placed a small kiss on his lips. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Right place, right time…I guess," said Randy with his usual smirk. His hands moved from her waist, and came to rest on her hips as he gazed down at her. "So…what are you going to do?"

"I think I'll head downstairs and make some pancakes for breakfast. How's that sound to you?" Lita asked, knowing she wasn't giving him the answer he wanted. With a small grin curving her lips, she turned and scurried from the bedroom. Rolling his eyes, Randy chased after her, eventually catching up with Lita in the kitchen.

Grabbing her in his arms, he lifted her easily and sat her down on the counter. "I wasn't talking about breakfast, Li…" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers before straightening again. Randy grasped her hands, intertwining their fingers. He stood, watching her, waiting for Lita to say something.

Lita took a deep breath. She looked at Randy, standing before her, his eyes filled with so much emotion. She knew exactly what she had to do, what she was going to do – for herself, for her sanity, for her life. "I guess we're going to Boston," she said, attempting a small smile.

Randy nodded his head, and pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his strong embrace. "We're going to Boston…" he murmured. After a moment, he pulling back, smoothing Lita's hair away from her face. He tilted his head a bit, a smirk forming on his lips. "Are you going to make those pancakes now?"

With a shake of her head, Lita hopped off the counter and walked over to the pantry. Looking back, she grinned at Randy. "Grab the eggs and milk from the fridge…" A comfortable silence settled over the kitchen as Randy and Lita began to make breakfast. _Yeah, I can do this…_Lita thought. _It's time to fight my demons. And win._

**Thank you so much for all the fabulous reviews. They mean so much to me. I hope you like this chapter. Once again – read and review!**


	9. Determining Her Fate

**Determining Her Fate**

Tired. She was so tired. Tired of it all: tired of the panic, tired of the worry, tired of the nightmares. She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of always looking over her shoulder. Tired of always checking and rechecking that her hotel room door was locked. Tired of lying to her best friends. But most of all, she was tired of feeling weak and vulnerable. It wasn't her. It wasn't who she was – who she was supposed to be. She was supposed to be strong. She was supposed to be brave. She was supposed to be courageous. She was, after all, the Queen of Extreme. The High Flying Diva. The Fiery Redhead. The two-time WWE Women's Champion. She was supposed to be all of these things – it's what the public expected, what Vince McMahon expected, what her friends expected.

Her expectations for herself were much lower, however. All she was trying to do, what she was hoping she could do, was survive. It was one thing to tell herself this – that she could come back to Boston and not fear the dark, not fear the city and its ugly memories. It was one thing to tell herself this, it was another thing entirely to actually live that way – to actually believe the words. And yet, that was exactly what she was striving to do…make herself believe. Because if she could believe, if she could give herself a small shred of hope, if she could determine her own fate, determine the course her life was going to take, then she could come out of this whole thing, this living nightmare, stronger than before, with a greater sense of self than she had ever known.

It had been three weeks since that fateful afternoon, the afternoon Trish had called Lita to tell her RAW was returning to Boston. So now, three weeks later, Lita stood in her Boston hotel room, at a loss. She most definitely wasn't going anywhere, she didn't want to talk to Trish or Stacy at the moment, she didn't want to _do_ anything. All she wanted was one thing, one person. One person would make her feel happier. But he was trapped in some airport lounge, waiting for his connecting flight to finally arrive. He had called her, left a message on her cell phone, that he would be there as soon as he could, that he missed her, that he couldn't wait to hold her again.

Lita couldn't help but smile, despite the thoughts clouding her mind. He always knew exactly what to say – what to do – to make her feel better. He had this intuition when it came to her feelings and emotions that was simply uncanny. It was one of the things that was so special, so remarkable about him. Moving to her suitcase, Lita pulled out a small picture in a silver frame. It was a picture of the two of them, taken during his recent visit to Sanford. She held the picture gently in her hands as she sat on the corner of her bed, simply looking at the man smiling in the photograph. Randy's blue eyes stared back at her, silently encouraging her, offering her a sense of peace and calm. Over the past few weeks, Lita had taken to carrying the picture with her wherever she went. It had become her security blanket, her safety net, the one thing (besides Randy himself) that kept her sane.

She continued to stare at the picture, her thoughts finally interrupted by a soft knock on the hotel room door. Placing the picture on the nightstand, she walked over to the door, glancing quickly through the peephole. Her features slightly relaxed as she unlocked the door.

"I thought your flight was delayed…" she exclaimed.

Without a word, Randy simply smiled down at the redheaded diva as he walked into her hotel room. Dropping his bag, he gently kicked the door closed behind him and grasped Lita's wrist in his hand. Pulling her against him, he tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, simply staring down into her hazel eyes. Lita didn't know what to say, didn't know if anything should be said at this moment. So instead, she simply wrapped her arms around his waist and stared back into his blue eyes. With a small wink, Randy began to lightly trace over her lips with the tip of his index finger. Lita let out a quiet sigh as she felt heat slowly starting to build somewhere deep inside here – in some unknown place, some place she thought had long since died. And yet, just the lightest, chaste touch from Randy sent streaks of pleasure rippling through her very core. As he continued to trace the lines of her face, Lita let her eyes fall closed, allowed herself to simply enjoy the feelings he was evoking deep inside her.

"You're here…" she murmured, yet her words were cut short as a gasp escaped her lips and her head lolled to the side as Randy began to drop feather light kisses along the column of her neck, along her jaw line, until eventually his teeth closed gently over her earlobe, tugging on the tender flesh.

"I got here as soon as I could…" he whispered as his arms pulled Lita tighter against him and he buried his face in her fiery red hair, inhaling her familiar scent. He had tried, without success, to have his schedule changed, to have his appearances and autograph signings cancelled so he could spend time with her, be there for her when she needed him the most. All he had wanted to do from the moment he finally arrived at the hotel was make her feel safe, protected, desired. Taking a step back, he held her hand in his, entwining their fingers, carefully studying her facial expression. "I know you have something to tell me. I can see it in your eyes clear as day. So what do you want to talk to me about Li? Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

Lita looked down at their hands, then closed her eyes and let out a long, slow breath. "Randy, I-I'm exhausted," she said, with a small laugh, as she opened her eyes again. "It's been a rough few days and let me tell you, I almost didn't get on the plane this afternoon. I almost ran right out of the airport, so I could go back home – back to where nothing can touch me, where I'm safe from everything, from everyone. But then I realized something…"

Randy looked again into her hazel eyes and saw a determination there he hadn't seen for some time. Her voice also sounded stronger, she sounded more sure of herself, as if, over the last few days, she had come to a new resolve. "And what would that be?" he asked as he guided her towards the bed. Settling against the headboard, he pulled her down so she was sitting between his outstretched legs, leaning back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, waiting for her response.

"That I can't keep running away. That I can't keep hiding. I've been doing that for too long: fooling everyone around me with a smile, convincing everyone that I'm fine, that nothing is wrong, that nothing bad has ever happened. And it's starting to wear me down – the lies, the excuses – it's starting to destroy me, my spirit…and I don't want that to happen. I just…I just, oh hell, I don't know…" She looked up at Randy helplessly, not sure what else to say. "I guess I just wanted you to know that," she whispered as she turned slightly in his embrace and snuggled closer to his warmth.

Randy gazed down at the woman he held in his arms in wonderment. He had never known anyone like her. "You're amazing," he marveled. "I'm glad you were able…" he trailed off after noticing that Lita had fallen asleep, curled against him, one hand grasping his sweatshirt. Randy dropped a light kiss on her forehead, before closing his eyes and falling into a welcome sleep.

_The Next Morning_

Lita awoke with a start the next morning, at first unsure of where she was and a bit unnerved by the feeling of a strong arm holding her tightly. However, she instantly relaxed when she felt Randy's warm even breath on her neck. A slow smile spread across her lips as she recalled how he had greeted her the night before – igniting a passion, a feeling of desire in her that had been missing these past months. Carefully, so as not to wake him, she lifted his arm from around her waist, and sat up on the edge of the bed. Sighing, she ran a hand through her bright red hair and moved over to the window and stood staring at the city below. _Somewhere down there, on one of those streets, in one of those back alleys is where it happened…where my life changed, where some maniac decided to take what wasn't his, where he decided…_

She was broken from her thoughts as the shrill ring of her cell phone sounded throughout the hotel room. Randy groaned and pulled the pillow over his head, mumbling something about people not appreciating other's need for sleep. Lita laughed softly, glancing quickly to see who was calling before she flipped the phone open.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Trish's voice came loudly through the receiver.

"Morning Trish…how was your night?" asked Lita in a slightly hushed voice, as she made her way towards the bathroom where she quietly closed the door behind her and sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"Great…Stacy and I went to this fantastic club. Danced with a bunch of random guys. Drank a bit too much. It was a lot of fun. I wish you had come with us, Li. We called you a couple of times, but your cell phone was off and you didn't answer the hotel room phone. What'd you do last night?"

"Just relaxed a bit. I had a headache from the plane ride, so I just ended up taking a nice bath and lounging in bed. The quiet was nice – I feel much better today." _Yeah, lounging in bed…that's exactly what I was doing last night. I was lounging, just with a 6'4, completely handsome and caring man…_

"Well, we were going to go to brunch at this little diner. Do you want to come with us Li? I mean, I know you don't usually do the brunch thing, but it'll be fun…we can chat and catch up and everything," exclaimed Trish as Stacy yelled in the background for her to come along with them.

Lita quietly opened the door and glanced over at Randy. He was lying on his back, his eyes open, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, um, okay…I'll come with you guys. Why don't I meet you in the lobby in about fifteen minutes? I just need to throw on some clothes…"

Trish smiled on her end of the phone and agreed that she and Stacy would meet Lita in the lobby. Lita, as she flipped her phone closed, was frowning. She knew why her friends wanted to have breakfast with her, what they wanted to talk to her about and didn't really have any answers to give them. _So much has happened, so much is happening now. So do I keep lying to them, pretending that everything is okay? Do I pretend that Randy and I are just friends? Do I just smile and nod and make up excuses for why I don't go out with them anymore?_

"You okay?" Randy's voice broke into her train of thought.

"Just great, thanks. I guess I'm going to brunch with Trish and Stacy. Can't wait to be out in this lovely city again. Can't wait to hear what they have to say this time around. Probably more questions," said Lita with a roll of her eyes, as she walked over to her suitcase and started pulling out clothes. "What were you thinking about just now? You seemed miles away," she asked as turned back to face him.

"What? Oh nothing. Just thinking about my tag match tonight with Shawn …" _I'm a third generation superstar, the Legend Killer. But when I'm with you? I'm just Randy Orton, a guy from St. Louis trying to make it to the top. All I've been thinking about lately is you. I think I'm falling in love with you. And that scares the shit out of me. _Randy sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and running his hand through his short brown hair. He tried to get those thoughts out of his head, and instead, offered the redheaded diva a small smile.

"So you're going to breakfast with Trish and Stacy? That should be interesting. Try not to let their questions get to you, Li. They mean well. They care about you."

"Thanks. I'll try to remember that. What are you going to do this morning?" she asked as she walked back into the bathroom to change, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"Meeting up with Dave and heading to the gym for a couple of hours before leaving for the arena. Are you going to the arena with Trish and Stacy or coming back here?" he asked as he stood and began to carefully stretch out his tight muscles.

"Probably coming back here. Why don't we meet up around three and head over to the arena together?" Lita asked as she stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Randy simply looked at her for a moment before a smirk appeared on his lips. In two long strides, he was standing before Lita, his hands resting gently on her hips. Bending his head, he brushed a light kiss over her lips before pulling back and looking into her eyes. Lita stared back at him for a moment before offering him a small smile. "So three o'clock's okay?" she asked.

"Sounds good. I'll see you then," said Randy as he gave her another quick kiss and made his way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Once Lita heard the shower running, she grabbed a sweatshirt and her keycard and made her way down to the hotel lobby.

_On the Way to Brunch_

"So, how's everything been?" Trish asked nonchalantly as Stacy maneuvered the car into traffic.

"Uh, Trish. I talked to you about half-an-hour ago remember? Not much has changed between now and then," Lita pointed out from the backseat. She turned to look out the window, hoping that her silence would be an indication to her two friends that she didn't really want to talk.

However, her hopes were soon dashed. "Do you want to tell us then why Randy was at your house in Sanford a few weeks ago?" asked Stacy, getting right to the point. "We couldn't help but notice that you two have gotten quite chummy the past couple of weeks…"

"And why did he hang up the phone on me? What got you so upset so quickly that you couldn't even talk to me?" asked Trish. Lita was trying to come up with a good answer, but her thoughts were then interrupted as Stacy asked her another question.

_At the Gym_

"What's going on with you and Lita, huh? I thought we were rooming together, but then you never showed up last night. Not that I was worried or anything…" Dave hurriedly added. "I just sort of figured you had ended up crashing in her room instead? Am I right?" asked Dave as he and Randy sat on a bench, taking a break from their workout.

"My flight was delayed…" said Randy, avoiding answering Dave's question. Randy didn't really want to get into this again with his best friend, but he also knew Dave wasn't just going to drop what seemed to be his favorite subject lately: Randy's relationship with a certain redheaded diva.

"You didn't answer my question. Did you end up staying with her last night?" Dave persisted.

"Yeah, okay? I crashed in her room. She needs me right now and I need to be there for her." Randy knew Dave would probably see right through that weak explanation, but what more did he want? It was all Randy could say, all he would say about his relationship with Lita. "Nothing happened, man. We just hung out…"

"I thought after all that time you spent around Hunter and Ric in Evolution, you would be a better liar. You know I can always tell when you're bull shitting right?"

"God Dave! We've had this discussion a million times now. But let me refresh your memory – I'm helping her with something. And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. I can't, okay? Geez…this whole thing is so confusing. She's there, right in front of me. She's everything I've ever wanted in a woman, and now? Now, I think I'm falling in love with her," exploded Randy, throwing his water bottle against the wall, and watching the liquid trickle out onto the floor.

Dave glanced around the gym, thankful they were the only ones there at the moment. He didn't think it would help Randy's psyche if any of the other guys got wind of his little outburst. "Whoa – hold up a second. You're falling in love with her? Um…shit…" Dave didn't know what to say. He had known Randy for a long time now, all the way back to their OVW days, but he had never seen his friend so torn up. Randy was the guy who never got attached to women, but now here he was, head resting in his hands, at a complete loss. "That's a good thing you know…" Dave said quietly, resting his hand on Randy's shoulder. "It's okay to love someone. Did you tell her?"

Randy shook his head. "I can't. I-I…I wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. I was supposed to help her and then walk away. Not get attached. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do, Dave," said Randy, looking over at Dave with anguished-filled eyes.

"You tell her how you feel, kid."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way? I end up looking like an asshole."

"That's the risk you take when you fall in love. You have to risk having your heart broken. It's a risk you have to be willing to take…"

_At Brunch_

"Do we have to talk about this right now?" _Especially since I don't have any answers for you…_ "Can't we talk about something else? Like, oh, I don't know – the weather?" asked an exasperated Lita. She stared down at her half-eaten plate of scrambled eggs and toast, suddenly completing losing her appetite. She didn't want to be here anymore. She had tried throughout the car ride to the diner to answer her friends' questions, but none of her answers seemed to please them, appease them. Being trapped in a car, and now at the diner, with Trish and Stacy was starting to be a bit much for Lita. They were her best friends, but at the moment, she was feeling slightly claustrophobic – as if there wasn't enough air to breathe, enough space for her to sit, enough room for her to be. She wanted to stand up from her seat and run like hell on fire back to the hotel. She wanted to hide in her room with the only sound she could hear being Randy's heartbeat as he held her close. Closing her eyes for a moment and trying to calm her fraying nerves, Lita continued. "There's nothing left to talk about. I'm done explaining myself. You two aren't going to believe me anyway. Here I am trying to answer all your questions and you think I'm lying to you?" _Maybe because I am. Every word out of my mouth this morning has been a complete and utter lie._

"No, Li honey…We just want to know what's really going on. It just seems so odd that you've never even really talked to Randy and now you two are together all the time, he's staying at your house, hanging up the phone on your friends…" said Stacy as she pulled out her wallet and placed some money on the table to cover the bill.

"There's nothing else going on. I just needed some help with something a while back and he happened to be around, okay. Look, I really don't want to talk about Randy anymore. Can we maybe head back to the hotel now? I'd like to take at least a ten minute nap before having to leave the arena," replied Lita, trying her best to keep the hurt and anger out of her voice as she stared across the table at her friends.

"Yeah, okay. We're sorry Lita. We didn't mean to be so nosy. You're our best friend. We just wanted to know what was happening in your life. Especially since you don't really spend much time with us anymore," Trish practically whispered the last part as she laid her fork down on her empty plate.

"And I'm sorry about that. But right now, I'm really focused on my wrestling. I know you guys have wanted to me to come out with you to the clubs and everything, but I just can't right now. I need to do this for my career," lied Lita as she stood up to leave the diner.

"We understand. And that's okay – all of our careers are important. We just want to be able to have fun with you again…to go dancing and out for margaritas. When was the last time we just had fun together?" asked Stacy.

Lita was about to try to answer Stacy's question, but there was nothing left to say. Nothing she could say. So instead, she simply shrugged her shoulders, moving past her two friends and walking out of the diner to stand next to the car. Trish and Stacy followed quietly behind her.

No more words were spoken, no more questions asked, as the trio rode back to the hotel.

_At the Hotel_

"Hi boys. What floor are you all staying on?" asked Trish as she made her way over to Randy and Dave who were making their way across the hotel lobby from the gym. Trish was happy to have someone to talk to again. The silence in the car on the ride back to the hotel had been deafening, uncomfortable. If it had taken any longer, she probably would have begged Stacy to pull over so she could get out and walk the rest of the way back to the hotel.

"Sixth floor. Room 643. Why Trish…looking for some fun later on tonight?" asked Dave, moving closer to the diva.

"You wish Dave." Trish hadn't missed the sexual innuendo laced throughout his statement. "No – I was just wondering…there's a really great club in downtown that Stacy and I have been to a few times. Would you guys be interested in coming with us tonight after the show?" asked Trish, her eyes traveling between Lita and Randy, trying to read their thoughts.

"Yeah, I definitely would. Sounds like fun. How about you Randy? Feel like going out with these beautiful ladies this evening?" asked Dave, giving Randy a small smirk. He honestly doubted that Randy would want to go, particularly after the conversation the pair had had at the gym regarding the redheaded diva. Lita glanced over at Randy out of the corner of her eye, wondering how he was going to respond. _Please say you'll stick around the hotel._

"Um, uh, I don't think so. I'm really tired from all the traveling I did the last couple of days. I think I'll probably just come back here and turn in early." _What a lame excuse! Could I possibly be any more obvious? _Randy couldn't help but notice a small smile on Lita's lips when he said he would be returning to the hotel that evening after RAW.

"Lita? Feel like going out? A little dancing, a little drinking? Some relaxation?" asked Dave, winking at the redheaded diva. Randy sent a withering glare in Dave's direction, and unconsciously took a few small steps protectively towards Lita.

"No thanks Dave. I'm just going to stick around here. Maybe watch a movie or something. Read a book. I don't know."

Dave just shrugged as the five superstars made their way over to the elevator. Arriving on the sixth floor, Trish and Stacy made their way to their room, Stacy calling to Dave that they would come get him after RAW was done filming, before waving a goodbye to Randy who had followed Dave down the hallway to the hotel room. Before walking into her room, Stacy turned to Lita. "You sure you don't want to come with us?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I just want some time alone and would like to relax in a nice hot bath. But you guys have fun," said Lita with a smile. Trish and Stacy just giggled as they went into their own room, the earlier tension having been mostly forgotten.

"Oh, hey Li?" called Stacy before the door closed behind her. "Are you riding with us to the arena?"

"I, uh, I-I have a ride thanks," said Lita, a slight blush tinting her cheeks. Stacy gave her a small nod before closing her hotel room door, leaving Lita alone in the hallway. Breathing a sigh of relief that no questions had been asked, Lita turned and walked the short distance to her own room.

As she was attempting to unlock her hotel room door, a hand reached forward, gently prying the keycard from her fingers. She didn't have to turn to know who the hand belonged to – she could feel Randy's warmth, smell his cologne mingled with his sweat. Opening the door to her room, Randy motioned for Lita to enter first. As Lita crossed the threshold into the room, she once again felt his presence behind her.

"We have just enough time for a nap," he whispered as he softly kissed her neck. _I love you, Li. I only wish I could actually say the words. I wish I could take the risk…_Moving to stand before her, he grasped her hands in his, gently pulling her towards the bed.

_The Arena_

"Deep breath," murmured Randy as he held her hand, guiding her towards the back entrance of the arena. Lita looked over at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to rid herself of the panicked feeling she felt slowly rising in her throat. And yet, there was also an intense feeling of calm, of peace, of courage – as if she was completely and totally protected, as if she wore an invisible shield…unable to be penetrated by anyone or anything that would try to hurt her. It was an odd sensation – the panic swirling around her, yet at the same time being pushed down by her own strength, by the knowledge that she had returned to a city that had caused her so much pain…she wasn't hiding, she wasn't running away. On the contrary, she was facing it head on, proving to herself that maybe, just maybe, buried somewhere deep inside, the old Lita still existed, the fighter, the free spirit.

As they walked into the arena and checked the night's schedule, Lita was looking around her, watching the various backstage workers walking by. She smiled at a few of the production assistants she knew, and simply stared at those she didn't. Glancing down, she realized that Randy was still holding her hand. Lita gently pulled her hand out of his grasp, flashing him an apologetic smile when Randy looked at her questioningly.

"There are just too many people around. And Trish and Stacy are here somewhere. I don't feel like having to answer another whole set of questions about our relationship. I had enough of that this morning…" she said, trailing off as she once again looked around the backstage area. _It has nothing to do with you. Believe me, if I could, I would hold onto you forever. There's something about feeling your hand in mine, your arms wrapped around me, that is just so right, so perfect…_

"You don't ever need to explain yourself to me, Li. I completely understand your need for privacy. Let's go find our locker rooms," said Randy as he hoisted his bag onto his shoulder. Smiling down at her, he placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her down the hallway. The pair eventually found Lita's locker room and stopped in front of the door. Randy glanced quickly around. Seeing that there was no one milling around the hallway, he dipped his head and brushed a quick kiss across Lita's lips. Smiling at the blush that crept up her cheeks, he gave her a small wink and pushed open the door to her locker room, allowing Lita to walk in ahead of him.

"I think I'm two or three doors down…sharing with Dave as usual. If you need anything or whatever, I should be there for the next hour or so. Or you can just my cell phone. I'll have it with me until I have to start getting ready for my match," Randy said as he watched Lita drop her duffel bag in the corner of the room and sit down on the leather sofa. "You okay?" he asked as he walked over and crouched down in front of her, placing his large hands on her thighs. Lita wanted to answer, tried to answer, but the feeling of his hands on her was overwhelming – it was as if her senses had narrowed down to the feeling of his touch and everything else simply disappeared around her. The fear, the worry, the uncertainty, the need to survive, the need to be strong, to be brave – it all disappeared. All Lita could feel was his touch, all she could see were his icy blue eyes staring back at her. All she wanted was him…_I haven't felt like this in months. His smallest touch sets me on fire. It's like I can't see straight, can't catch my breath, can't feel, can't see beyond him._

"You okay?" Randy asked again. He looked at Lita closely for a moment, saw something shining in her eyes that almost knocked him backwards – he saw passion, he saw lust, he saw need. Never had the redheaded diva looked at him like that. It took his breath away. _I wish I didn't have a match tonight, that she didn't have a match. I wish I could just go back to the hotel with her, be alone with her. Make love to her…_

"I'll be fine…" The quiet words broke Randy from his reverie and once again, he looked at the woman seated before him. He gave her another small smile as his hands moved from her thighs to her hips where he gently began to draw small circles with his thumbs against the exposed skin above her jeans. Lita leaned forward slightly, unconsciously licking her lips as she stared into Randy's unblinking eyes. Randy returned her gaze, moving forward until he could feel her breath on his lips. Just as he was about to close the distance between them, the door to Lita's locker room was thrown open, causing Randy to quickly stand up and move across the room away from the redheaded diva.

"So you made it. You saw the schedule right? The two of us in a tag match against Molly and Victoria. We should go find them, talk about what we want to do, what spots we want to hit. How about I meet you in their locker room in about half-an-hour? Sound good?" asked Trish as she quickly looked back and forth between Randy and Lita. "Did I interrupt anything you two? Were you in the middle of something?" Trish bit her lip to try to keep from smiling as she noted the blush on both Randy and Lita's cheeks, how Randy was standing with his hands in his pockets looking up at the ceiling, how Lita was staring intently at a spot on the floor. She was fairly positive that if she had walked in probably thirty seconds later, she would have seen her best friend and the Legend Killer acting as more than _just friends._

"No…we weren't in the middle of anything. And yes, I did see the schedule. Half an hour sounds good. I'll meet up with you then," said Lita, finally looking up to meet Trish's watchful gaze. When Trish made no move to leave the locker room, Lita let out an exasperated sigh. "Anything else?" she asked as she stood up and walked over to her duffel bag, pulling out her ring attire for the night, tossing it carelessly onto the couch.

"Umm, nope. That was it. Just wanted to make sure we were all able to talk before the match. And I just wanted to check that had gotten to the arena okay. I guess, um, I guess I'll just let you get back to…whatever…" said Trish as she gestured between Randy and Lita, finally making her way to the door of Lita's locker room. As she opened the door to leave, Trish cast one last glance at her redheaded friend, smirking slightly. "I'll, uh…We'll talk later. Okay, Li?"

Lita just rolled her eyes and nodded as she watched Trish leave the locker room. "Well, that was sufficiently awkward," she muttered to Randy as she pushed her ring gear to the side and sat back down on the couch. Running her hands through her hair, she looked up at him with large hazel eyes.

"Nah, it wasn't too bad. Trish was just being Trish. She cares about you Li. She wants you to be happy. Anyone with half a brain can see that. Now," he whispered as he sat down and pulled Lita into his lap. "I believe that before your well-intentioned best friend barged into the locker room, I was about to-"

Before he could complete his thought, he felt Lita's lips against his in a soft and gentle kiss, her arms moving to encircle his neck. Reacting immediately to the feeling, Randy wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him until there was no space between them, the kiss becoming more passionate with each passing moment. Their lips continued to dance as Lita turned to straddle his legs, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. She could feel his heart beating rapidly against her chest, feel his arousal pressing into her thigh. Their tongues moved in harmony, their breathing became more erratic as they both fought to control their passion. Finally needing air, Lita pulled away and let out a shaky breath, running her hands through her hair. They stared at each other for a moment, through a lust-filled haze, both knowing what the other person needed, what they wanted, but too afraid to admit it, too afraid to take that next step in the relationship. She looked directly into Randy's eyes and gave him a soft smile before standing up and offering him her hand. Grasping Lita's hand in his, Randy stood up as well, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

"Lita, I…I, uh…I…" Randy stammered, attempting to say the words, those three little words that he wanted so desperately for her to hear. _I love you. I love you Lita. I love you. Say the words, dumbass! Open your mouth and say them! _"I, uh, I better head to my locker room. Dave'll be wondering where I am and I should probably locate Shawn so we can talk about things for tonight. I'll check up on you later?" _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

Lita nodded her head, confusion in her eyes. She knew Randy had wanted to say something else to her, had something else on his mind tonight besides his tag team match. He had been quieter than usual, more contemplative. She let it slide for now, however, because they both had work to do, but she was determined that once RAW was over, she was going to find out what was really bothering him, what was on his mind.

"Yeah, okay. I have to meet up with the girls though in a bit to talk about our match too, so don't rush through things with Shawn just to be with me," she said as she leaned up and gave him a gentle kiss. "Now go, get out of here. We both have work to do!" she exclaimed as she shooed him towards her locker room door.

"I'm going, I'm going. I'll see you later, baby. Lock the door after I leave," he said, flashing her a warm smile and a wink as he closed the door behind him. Lita just shook her head, but did secure the lock once Randy was gone. Grabbing her ring gear, she quickly changed and, after looking herself over in the mirror, she checked the time. _I still have fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes…I'm too antsy to sit around here. I guess I could go grab a bottle of water before catching up with the girls. _

_Walking the Halls_

For whatever reason, there were very few people milling around the hallway as Lita made her way towards catering. _Probably because the show is about to start._ she mused as she continued down the hall, frequently glancing around her, always checking out her surroundings. Suddenly, from behind, she felt a hand wrap tightly around her wrist, spinning her around. A surprised yelp escaped her lips and then turned to a silent gasp of fright as she came face-to-face with the man who had haunted her nightmares for months, with the one man she had never wanted to see again as long as she lived. He gave her a twisted smile as he placed one finger over his lips signaling for silence as he pulled her into an empty room. He still held tightly on to her wrist as he locked the door and slowly turned to face her. Letting go of her wrist, he pushed her up against the wall, as Lita's eyes flickered briefly to the knife he now held in his hand.

"Hello sweetheart. Did you miss me?" he asked as he roughly licked her cheek, laughing sadistically at the terrified look on the redheaded diva's face, the feeling of her shaking as he pressed himself against her, the single tear that trickled down her cheek. "Because I sure missed you. But now we're here – together again…all alone. Just like last time. And just like last time, I think I'll make you beg for me to stop. How does that sound?" Not bothering to wait for her response, he continued on. "Sounds pretty fucking amazing to me – you were, after all, one of the best I've ever had…" he trailed off as he ran the tip of the knife down her cheek, licking his lips as he continued to look at her. "Just remember – Lita – remember my one rule…You scream, you die…"

**Thanks so much for all the reviews! They mean so much to me. Hope you like this chapter. Read and review.**


	10. It Ends Tonight

**It Ends Tonight**

"Do you hear me, Lita? I don't want to have to repeat myself…I hate repeating myself. I hate having to tell people to do things over and over again. Over and over again…over and over again…" he muttered to himself as he began to pace around the locker room. Lita watched him with wide eyes, wondering if this was going to be her one and only chance to escape, to run, to find help. She began slowly inching towards the locked door, but before she could take three steps, he was standing before her again, a twisted smile on his lips, his eyes glinting menacingly as he stared at her. "And where do you think you're going?" he asked in a dangerously low voice. "I hope you weren't planning on leaving so soon. We've barely even gotten started…" he intoned as he began advancing towards her slowly, deliberately, his eyes never wavering, his movements purposeful, his twisted grin never faltering. He began to hum some strange tune, one she had never heard before, as he slowly approached her. Lita's eyes never left the knife he was holding in his hand, as she tried to move away from him, as she willed the wall to give way so she could escape, as she silently prayed that some one, any one, would realize she was missing and come looking for her. However, that was only a small glimmer of hope, one that was quickly dashed as he finally reached her, pinning her against the wall, dragging the knife down the front of her flimsy t-shirt…

_Randy's Locker Room_

Randy sat on the leather couch in his locker room going over the various spots he and Shawn had just talked about. He really wanted this to be a good match, really wanted to make an impact – after all, he was tagging with HBK, the Heartbreak Kid. Running his hands through his brown hair, he leaned back against the plush cushions and closed his eyes for a moment, his mind drifting away from his match and turning, instead, to a certain redheaded diva. She was all he could think about. He found himself, more and more, zoning out during conversations with friends and colleagues, his thoughts always turning to her – her smile, those eyes that held so much fear and, at the same time, so much hope and passion, the way her hand felt in his, how she made him feel like he was the most important person in her world. Randy smiled thinking back to earlier in the day, before they had left for the arena, when they had simply laid together on the bed in Lita's hotel room, talking about everything and nothing. Rarely had he actually spent time talking to a woman, getting to know them. But with Lita it was different. She was different. He had too much respect for her, too much love, to simply use her and then cast her aside like he had so many others.

Randy was broken from his thoughts, when the door to his locker room swung open and Trish came to stand in the doorway. He stood up, annoyed that she was interrupting him, and looked at her through questioning eyes.

"Doesn't anyone knock anymore? What if I was standing here naked?" he asked, glaring at the blonde diva as he stood up to grab a bottle of water from the mini-fridge in the corner of the locker room. Trish just rolled her eyes, giving him a small, worried smile. Randy watched her for a moment – noticed how she was fidgeting about, wringing her hands – and placed the bottle of water on the counter, and waited for her to say something.

"Like you would mind," she retorted. "But that's beside the point. Have you seen Lita? She was supposed to meet me in Victoria and Molly's locker room like twenty minutes ago…" Trish said, starting to bite her bottom lip. Her concern, her worry, was increasing by the second, especially when she took note of Randy's expression. He looked terrified – his eyes were wide, his hands were now clenched into fists at his side, and he had started pacing around the locker room.

"Did you check her locker room? Maybe she just got caught up with something. Or catering? Did you look in catering?" he asked. His mind was going a mile a minute, trying to process what Trish had just told him, trying to think of any place Lita could have wandered off to alone, trying to think…"Did you check Eric's office? Maybe she got called into a meeting?"

Trish just shook her head. She had looked everywhere for the redheaded diva, but had been unable to find her. It wasn't like Lita to simply wander off on her own, especially these past couple of months. She always seemed to be with at least one other person when she was at the arenas – at least when she hadn't locked herself away in her locker room. "I haven't seen her Randy…" she murmured, watching the man standing before her becoming more and more agitated. He had stopped his pacing, and was now standing in the center of the room looking completely lost, unsure of what to do or what to say. Trish had known there was something going on between her best friend and the third generation superstar, but now she also knew that it went much deeper than simply two people who had fallen for each other. Randy knew something about the redheaded diva and Trish wanted to know what secret Lita had been hiding all these months. "Randy what do you know? What do you know that you're not telling me?" she asked.

"Everything. Too much…" he whispered, his voice slightly shaking. Before Trish could stop him, he had swung around, punching his fist through the locker room wall. Wincing in pain, he pulled back and cradled his now bleeding hand against his chest. Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. "I-I can't tell you. But Trish we have to find her…we have to find her," he said looking at her helplessly.

Trish stood mesmerized for a moment, watching the young man who she had always thought to be so brash, so cocky, so arrogant, falling apart in front of her. It was a completely different reaction than she had expected, one that she was not prepared for. Almost involuntarily, her hand reached out, coming to rest on Randy's arm. "We'll find her Randy. We'll find her. Let's go get Stacy and Dave and they can help us look."

_The Empty Locker Room_

Lita closed her eyes, taking a shaky breath, moving to cover herself as her t-shirt fell open to his prying eyes. She tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill from her hazel eyes. Grabbing a hold of her hair, he began to drag her across the room, away from the door, away from the wall, away from any hope of anyone finding her – or saving her. She was alone. Completely and utterly alone and this manic seemed determined to turn her world upside down, to make her nightmare of the past few months reality once again.

Upon reaching the far corner of the room, he pushed her down on the floor. After watching her for a moment, he began to talk to himself, pacing around the locker room. Lita backed quickly against the wall and drew her knees up to her chest, trying to get as far away from him as possible. A fruitless task she knew, but she had to do something, anything. She felt like she was suffocating, like she couldn't breath, and as he began to advance toward her again, she looked up into his cold, emotionless eyes – those eyes that had haunted her, both awake and asleep for all these months. She shuddered to think what he would do to her next.

And although her fear and panic were all consuming, somewhere deep inside her, she felt anger. Anger that he had managed to find her. Anger that he had trapped her. Anger that he simply thought she would give in to him – again. Anger that he thought he had power over her mind and body. She was aware that she was huddled before him, her t-shirt hanging open, her breasts barely covered in a white lace bra. But she didn't care…that much. As she slowly stood up, still backed against the wall, her fists clenched and unclenched at her side. _It ends tonight, you bastard. I'm not letting you take another piece of my soul, another part of me. I've come too far, fought too hard, to let you take another bit of my spirit. _she thought as she stared into his cold, dead eyes. His anger was apparent as moved quickly to stand in front of her.

"I didn't tell you to stand up did I? I didn't tell you to move? Why do I have to repeat myself? I thought we already went through this. I don't want to have to repeat myself! You don't move until I tell you. You don't breath unless I tell you to. You don't do anything unless I tell you to. I'm in control here – me! Not you…ME! Do you hear me, Lita? Do you?" he hissed, as he waved the knife in her face.

Lita knew it wasn't smart to make him angry, knew she shouldn't be doing anything that would cause him to hurt her more. But she wasn't going to give in – not this time. She had something to fight for – her life, her sanity…Randy. "I heard you the first time all those months ago, and I hear you now," she stated, her voice eerily calm, fire burning in her eyes. _I choose my own destiny. I fight my own demons. And right now…I choose to fight you. And in this game of survival, I'm going to win…_He didn't seem to notice – and if he did, he didn't really care – that her attitude, her entire demeanor had changed dramatically.

"I suggest you shut your fucking mouth or there will be consequences. Ones that you won't find too pleasant…" he said as he grabbed her arm, and threw her roughly across the room.

_Around the Arena…_

Was it possible for a person to just disappear? Was it possible for a person to vanish into thin air? Was it possible? Randy had looked everywhere for the redheaded diva. He had looked in catering. He had looked in her locker room. He had looked in his locker room. He had gone so far as to barge into the three ladies' rooms in the backstage area – much to the dismay of some unknowing production assistants who were in the midst of a gossip session. Lita hadn't been in any of those places. And now he was sitting on a pile of packing crates, his head resting in his hands, his thoughts running a mile a minute as he tried to control his emotions, his anger…his guilt.

Upon hearing the soft clicking of heels on concrete, he looked up to see Stacy and Trish fast approaching. The small glimmer of hope he had still held quickly vanished when he saw the looks on both divas' faces. Hopping off the crates, he stood before Lita's best friends. He noticed how Trish's face was a mask of fear and worry, that Stacy's eyes were glassy – as if she was about to burst into tears.

"No luck?" His voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. Both Stacy and Trish shook their heads, as Randy let out an exasperated sigh. "How the fuck could she just disappear? Where could she have gone? She's never alone. She's always with someone else, unless she's locked herself away somewhere – and even then she tells someone. She's never alone! So tell me…" he cried, gripping Stacy's shoulders and shaking her, "tell me where the hell she could be!"

Stacy looked back at him with frightened eyes, as Trish stepped forward. She knew Randy was worried about Lita, was on the edge of being terrified, of losing control. But she didn't want Stacy to be hurt. "Randy…Randy! Calm down. People are starting to look over here and you're going to hurt Stacy," she murmured as she placed her hand on his chest, lightly pushing him back, causing him to let go of Stacy's shoulders. He blinked a few times and looked around startled, as if he was just realizing where he was and what he was doing. "Come on," said Trish. "Let's go to your locker room. We can talk there. Think about what to do, where to look next…"

Randy numbly nodded his head and began to follow the two blonde divas as they made their way towards his locker room. "Wait…Dave is…" he called, looking around helplessly for his best friend, needing him now – his words of wisdom – more than he ever had before.

Stacy walked back and took his hand. "Dave will find us. He'll know where to go…" Randy simply nodded again. _We have to find her. I can't lose her – not after fighting so hard and coming this far. I love her. I can't lose her…_Closing his eyes for a brief moment and taking a deep breath, he allowed Stacy to guide him back to his locker room, taking one last hopeless look around the hallway.

Unfortunately, he had a match he had to prepare for. Something he wasn't looking forward to right now. His mind and his heart just weren't in it. Instead, most of his attention and emotion was focused on finding one particular redheaded diva.

_The Empty Locker Room_

Lita stood almost immediately, and quickly turned to face him. He approached her slowly, a snarl curling his lips. As he was approaching her, he stopped suddenly, and turned to face the door, almost as if he had heard something outside the room. He turned his back for a mere moment, in the direction of the noise. It was a second, a second too many. Lita moved quickly, balling her hand into a fist, connecting with the soft tissue of his temple. She watched as his eyes rolled up into his head, and before he had time to think, to react, she had kicked her leg out, connecting with his groin.

A grin of satisfaction crossed her features as she heard his groan of pain, as she watched him fall to the floor. But it wasn't enough. She wanted to make him suffer, hurt him like he had hurt her, make him feel pain. She continued to kick him, tears streaming down her cheeks, words of hurt and anger falling from her lips. He had curled in on himself, trying to block the blows, protect himself from her, from her steel-toed boot that was mercilessly kicking his rib cage, his head, anything she could reach. He started to cough and Lita watched as blood began to drip from his lips. Finally, she backed away and watched as his eyes fluttered for a moment, and then closed. He lay there limply on the floor, unconscious.

She knew she should move – run as fast and as far away from that locker room as humanly possible. But she couldn't. Her feet seemed rooted to the spot. She leaned against the wall, slowly sinking to the floor, clutching her arms around her shaking form, tears streaming from her eyes, as she sat staring at the limp form of her attacker, lying motionless on the floor. She was unable to move, unable to think, unable to speak. All she could do was feel. And what she had been feeling, the anger that had built insider her only moments before, had now given way to something else. Some emotion she couldn't name. She felt relief – that this nightmare was finally over, that she had fought back and won – but as she sat there, huddled in the corner of the locker room, all she could was cry.

Lita looked up suddenly as she heard a noise from outside the room, and then a voice – a voice calling her name, and then someone rattling the doorknob. Before she knew what was happening, Dave had burst through the door and stood for a moment, taking in the situation. His mouth opened and closed, but no words formed. What he saw shocked him – a man, seemingly broken and bloody, lying unconscious on the floor and Lita, huddled in the corner, her t-shirt ripped open, tears streaming down her face. It took him about thirty seconds to realize what had happened, and when he did, he felt his stomach turn with disgust. Dave took a few steps towards Lita, but as he approached, he saw the fear in her eyes, saw how her hands were shaking, saw how she shrank further back against the wall – almost as if she was afraid of him. Not wanting to frighten her more, he took a small step backward, giving her some space.

"Lita? Sweetheart? It's going to be okay. I promise. It's going to be okay," Dave murmured soothingly. Knowing he wasn't the person she truly needed at this moment, knowing he couldn't give her the love and support she needed, he moved to the door. "Find Orton," he called to a passing stagehand.

"He's finishing his tag match, sir," exclaimed the stagehand, simply staring at the large man in front of him.

When the stagehand didn't make a move, Dave stepped forward and grabbed the man by his shirt collar. "I don't really give a fuck. Get him…now. Bring him back here," he growled in a dangerously low voice. The stagehand simply nodded and scurried down the hall to get Randy. Dave then pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911, trying to explain the situation the best he could, requesting that both police and an ambulance be dispatched to the arena. After receiving confirmation that both would be at the arena shortly, Dave turned his attention back to the redheaded diva.

Stepping over her attacker, Dave noted that he was completely unconscious, and judging how his head seemed to be swelling, would be for some time. Seeing that Lita's tears seemed to be slowing, he took a chance and crouched down beside her, gently pulling her hands from her knees and grasping them in his own. She looked up and whispered, "I need…" trailing off as a new round of tears overtook her, overwhelmed that someone had found her, that she was safe, that maybe this whole ordeal was finally over.

"He's on his way sweetheart. Just hang on a bit longer okay? He's coming," Dave murmured, lightly stroking her hair. He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard sirens in the distance, knowing help would be arriving soon, and then squeezed Lita's hand as he heard running footsteps fast approaching the locker room and Randy's voice, demanding answers from the unknowing stagehand. Dave looked up as Randy came to a screeching halt in the doorway of the locker room, wearing a pair of track pants and still pulling his t-shirt over his head, having just returned to his locker room after completing his tag match, when the stagehand came looking for him. Trish and Stacy stood directly behind him, taking in the scene before them…

"Oh my god…" murmured Randy as he raced over and crouched down in front of Lita. "Dave, your shirt? Please…" he asked as Dave unbuttoned his crisp white shirt, handing it to Randy who draped it over Lita's shoulder, covering her exposed chest, shielding her from questioning eyes. Randy spared a quick glance at her attacker – was it him? Was this the same maniac who had hurt Lita before? His eyes narrowed dangerously as he felt anger coursing through him. But vengeance could wait – Lita and her well-being could not. Gently, he pulled her hands away from her face, wiping her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "It was him, wasn't it?" he murmured quietly so no one else could hear, as he gently began running his fingers through her hair. Lita lifted her head, inhaling a deep breath and nodding in affirmation before leaning into Randy's embrace, allowing his strong arms to encircle her, hold her, protect her. Neither one noticed that Stacy, Dave, and Trish were still in the room, nor did they seem to care – too wrapped in each other to pay attention to what was happening around them.

As Randy continued to hold Lita, whispering quietly to her, Dave moved to stand near Trish and Stacy, wrapping his arms around the girls' shoulders, pulling them close to his muscular chest. No one needed to ask what had happened – they could see clear as day that Lita had been attacked, and had somehow managed to fight her captor. The trio, now standing in the far corner of the room, also noticed how Lita was now clinging to Randy as if he was the only solid thing left in her world. They watched as Randy lightly ran his hand through Lita's hair, while his other hand rubbed soothing circles on her back. They couldn't hear what Lita was murmuring into his shoulder, or what Randy was whispering, but it was a more intimate moment than any of them had ever witnessed, a telling sign that something was most definitely going on between the Legend Killer and the Queen of Extreme that went far beyond the boundaries of friendship.

Just as Randy helped Lita to stand up, the police and EMTs burst into the locker room and begin asking questions, demanding answers, and gathering evidence. Lita's still unconscious attacker was quickly handcuffed and placed on an ambulance gurney to be taken to the local hospital, along with a police escort. Lita watched through red, swollen eyes as he was taken away. She held a glimmer of hope that this whole nightmare would be over – that she would finally be able to live her life without having to be constantly looking over her shoulder. As she felt Randy squeeze her hand, she looked up at him and saw how truly worried he had been. She saw something else however. Some flicker of an emotion in his icy blue eyes. She wasn't sure what it was, or if it even meant anything. And right now, she couldn't really read too much into it. Lita was starting to realize just how close she had come to losing everything again, and she closed her eyes for a moment as a wave of dizziness swept through her. Randy felt her sway slightly and picked her up in his arms, carrying her to a chair, and sitting down with her in his lap. Lita buried her head in his shoulder as she felt the warmth of his embrace once again surround her.

"Li? The police need to speak to you, find out what happened, so they can put the bastard behind bars for a very long time. Can you do that for me? Can you tell them what happened?" he whispered as he continued to hold her close. Lita nodded and sat up a bit so she could speak to the police officer. She finally noticed Dave, Stacy, and Trish standing in the corner of the room, but didn't have the energy to ask them to leave. _And anyway, they need to hear this. I've kept everything hidden for so long. It's time that they knew the truth._ Lita's friends stood completely still, not moving, barely breathing, as they listened to her speak with police, listened to her tell her story, listened to her tell her most guarded secret.

_Lita's Confession_

_Two months ago, we were in Boston for RAW. I had gone out with some friends to a local bar for some drinks after the show and had decided to leave a little early. As I was walking back to the hotel, I felt someone grab me from behind and then drag me into a dark alley. He held a knife at my throat and told me that if I screamed, he would kill me. He kept repeating it over and over again. I begged him not to rape me, but he didn't care. His eyes were so cold, so unfeeling, so…dead. He pushed me down, and that's when he…_

Lita's voice faded as tears once again began to stream down her cheeks. After a moment, after taking a deep breath, she was able to get her emotions somewhat under control and began speaking again. She didn't notice the looks of guilt and intense sadness that crossed the faces of Trish and Stacy as they realized exactly what night Lita had been talking about – didn't notice the identical looks of understanding as Dave, Trish, and Stacy simultaneously realized that Randy must have known Lita's secret all along – he didn't look surprised or shocked by anything that Lita was saying to the police officer. Instead he sat, holding her tightly in his embrace, needing to feel her body close to his, needing to know she was safe in his arms, needing her to feel safe.

_Tonight, I was on my way to catering to grab a bottle of water before meeting up with Trish to talk about our match tonight. I felt someone grab my wrist and turn me around. It was him. He pulled me into this locker room. I knew that if I didn't do something this time to stop him, he would just do it again, and again, and again. It would never stop. He would never stop. So, I…_

The officer nodded his head after listening to the remainder of Lita's statement. Telling her that investigators would be in contact with her in the coming days should more information be needed, he requested that the arena's on-call EMT take a quick look at Lita. Randy motioned to Dave, and he turned, still holding onto Trish and Stacy and walked them out into the hallway so Lita could have a bit of privacy.

_The Hallway_

Trish immediately pulled away from Dave, once the trio had entered the virtually empty hallway. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she looked at Stacy. "It was that night. The last time we were in Boston. Lita was with us, remember? We were all at that bar having margaritas after a show and she wanted to leave early. We let her leave…alone. She walked back to the hotel alone and-and…" She couldn't finish her thought as she threw herself into Dave's arms, shaking, as she sobbed against his chest, her guilt consuming and overriding all other emotions. Dave looked quickly over at Stacy who was holding her head in her hands.

"Stacy, what is she talking about?" asked Dave. Stacy looked up at Dave, her face a mirror image of Trish's and, in a shaky voice, began to explain.

"Two months ago, remember? We were in Boston for a show. After the show, a bunch of us had decided to go out for margaritas. Lita wanted to go back to the hotel, but we convinced her to stay and dance for a couple more songs. Eventually Lita decided that she had had enough and left the bar. Trish and I told her we would meet her back at the hotel and let her leave by herself. And that's when…when that psycho must have grabbed her and-and…" Stacy couldn't actually say the words. She didn't want to actually say that Lita had been attacked, that she had been raped. It made it seem that much more real, that much more frightening.

Dave nodded his head in understanding, and reached his hand out, pulling Stacy towards him once again, hoping that he could offer the two divas some amount of comfort. Gently, he steered them towards some empty packing crates that were stacked against the wall, urging them to sit down for a moment. "It wasn't your fault," Dave whispered. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't Lita's fault. You've been her friends through this whole thing, even though you didn't know what had really happened. You stuck by her." Trish and Stacy both nodded their heads, Dave's words somewhat easing the guilt. "And you have to be strong for her now. She's going to need her friends, her best friends, more than ever before," Dave concluded.

"You're right Dave," said Trish, smacking the tears off her cheeks. Turning to look at Stacy, she continued. "We have to be there for her. She's our best friend. We have to support her through all of this, help her face it, show her we'll always be there for her." Stacy wiped the tears from her eyes, nodding her head in agreement, before the three wrestlers turned their attention back to the still-closed locker room door.

_The Locker Room_

"Well, Ms. Dumas you don't appear to have any physical injuries. I would however, recommend that you go the hospital to be checked out by a doctor," the arena EMT declared after giving Lita the once-over. Lita simply continued to blankly stare at him, as she had for much of the exam. It was if, now that the tears had stopped, the rest of her emotions had just disappeared. She couldn't feel anything – no anger, no sadness, no resentment. Nothing. It was as if she had just emotionally shutdown.

Randy, realizing that Lita wasn't responding, nodded and stretched out his hand in order to shake the waiting EMT's. "Thank you. And yes, we'll go to the hospital – I want to make sure she's really okay," he said as he stood with Lita still in his arms. Carefully placing her down in the chair, he crouched before her, pushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. "I'll be right back. I just want to tell Dave I'm taking you to the hospital. Sit tight for a minute, okay?" he asked as he made his way towards the closed door of the locker room.

"What about your match with Shawn?" came the whispered reply, stopping Randy in his tracks. _I can't believe she's worried about my match. That should be the last thing on her mind. _Turning, he moved back to Lita and once again kneeled down in front of her, so he could look into her eyes.

"I already had my match…but don't worry about that now. You're the most important thing to me. I need to take care of you," he declared as he once again stood, dropping a quick kiss on Lita's forehead. Opening the door to the locker room, Randy was met with three concerned faces. "I'm going to take Lita to the hospital to get checked out by a doctor. Dave, can you bring our bags back to the hotel?"

"Yeah man, anything you need. Don't worry about it. We'll take care of everything. She going to be alright?" Dave asked, gesturing in Lita's direction.

Randy looked back at Lita for a moment, noticing the vacant look in her eyes and how tightly she was clasping her hands. "I don't know. I really don't know."

"Can we talk to her – just for a minute?" asked Stacy. "Just to let her know we love her and we're here for her?" she hastened to explain when Randy looked ready to protest. He nodded his head in agreement, motioning for the girls to enter the room.

"Li? We, we know you don't really want to talk about anything else tonight, so we won't. But Trish and I, well, we just want you to know that we love you. You're our best friend, Li. And well, we're just glad you're okay," whispered Stacy as she grasped one of Lita's hands, while Trish held the other.

Lita looked up at them for a moment, before murmuring, "Thank you…" It was all she could muster at the moment, all she could express – too locked away in her own thoughts to truly acknowledge what Stacy was saying. The blonde divas simply looked at their friend for a moment longer, before letting go of Lita's hands and going over to stand near Dave once again. Both divas knew that Lita would eventually open up to them, talk to them about her feelings, about Randy, about everything. It was just going to take time – they would have to be patient, be there for her in whatever capacity she needed them.

"Come on sweetheart. We're going to get you checked out at the hospital and then go back to the hotel," said Randy as he moved from his spot near the door.

As Lita stood up, she grasped Randy's hand tightly in her own, sparing one more quick glance around the locker room. "Who was he, Randy? Who was he?" she whispered, as they began to walk down the hallway, their friends watching them leave.

"I wish I had an answer, Li. I really do. But I don't know. I just don't know…" muttered Randy as he pushed open the door that lead to the parking lot, hopefully leaving this whole nightmare behind.

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. So sorry this chapter took so long to post. It was really hard for me write. But I think it came out pretty good in the end. I hope so anyway. Well, please read and review and tell me what you think!**


	11. Stop All the World Now

**Stop All the World Now**

_This chapter contains adult content. _

Randy opened the door to her hotel room and stood aside, allowing Lita to enter. Though unspoken, they both realized they needed to be with each other this night. They had spent the last three hours at the hospital, waiting for a doctor to examine Lita. It had been mostly silent between the pair since then, save for a few softly spoken words by Randy, asking the redheaded diva if she wanted to stop for something to eat, if she wanted to call Trish or Stacy, if she needed anything at all. Lita had answered in the negative to all of his questions and had spent the remainder of the car ride simply staring out the window at the passing scenery.

As she sank tiredly down onto the hotel room bed, Lita kicked off her shoes and began to lightly rub her temples, hoping to ease the headache that had become increasingly worse over the past few hours. Lita felt the bed sink down beside her, felt Randy's hands begin to gently massage her shoulders, her neck, her back. Lita sighed softly as she felt the tension that was coursing through her body slowly begin to ease. She relaxed into his touch and let herself drift for a moment - not really wanting to think about all that had happened, all that could have happened, all that she could have lost. After several minutes, Lita turned to look at Randy. He studied her for a moment, his gaze eventually falling to her lips. Slowly, he leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers, gently caressing Lita's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. Lita lightly clutched his shoulders as his lips danced over hers, making her forget, at least for the moment, everything bad that had just happened, causing her senses to narrow down to just the feel of his lips on hers and his thumbs moving lightly across her cheeks.

Leaning forward, his lips lightly touched her earlobe, before Randy finally spoke. "Is this okay? You've been through hell tonight. If this isn't what you want right now…well, then I'll be just as happy holding you, knowing you're safe, here, with me," he concluded as he reached forward, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his side.

Lita didn't say anything for a moment, as she settled against Randy, enjoying the feeling of his arm around her waist. What did she want? _I want him. But is that something I'm really prepared to do right now? Can I take that next step in our relationship? Can I give myself to him completely and not regret or question it? _"Can we just…" she hesitated for a moment before continuing, trying to process her thoughts, her feelings. "Can we just…can you just help me forget? Everything. Kiss me and help me forget?"

Randy nodded slightly, lowering his head to brush his lips against the smooth skin of her neck. He wasn't sure if this is what Lita really needed, but she had asked him to help her forget and if, right now, in this moment, this was the only way, then – so be it. Not that he was complaining. Randy had longed for her touch – her lips on his, her hands gripping his shoulders, the feel of her body close to his. But he didn't want her to regret anything. He never wanted her to regret a single moment they spent together.

Randy felt Lita's arms move up to encircle his neck, felt her body beginning to tremble. Right now, he simply wanted to show her how it felt to be tenderly touched by a man, show her she didn't need to be afraid of getting close to someone again. Make her feel safe…loved. Moving back down the column of her neck, he paused for a moment to breathe, and gazed hungrily into Lita's hazel eyes. "You okay?" he murmured, as he ran his hands up and down her arms, causing goose bumps to form underneath the long sleeves of the dress shirt Dave had given her back at the arena.

"Yes…" Lita whispered, as Randy gently pushed her back until she was lying against the mattress, settling himself atop her, his forearms holding much of his weight off her. Lita looked up at him questioningly for a fleeting moment before her eyes fluttered shut as Randy lightly worked his fingertips through her fiery hair, massaging her scalp, finally lowering his lips to hers once again.

Of its own volition, Lita's bare foot worked Randy's pant leg up, lightly stroking up and down his calf. A low groan escaped his lips as Lita dragged her fingernails up and down the back of his neck, her arms moving downward until they grasped the hem of his t-shirt, tugging it up slightly.

"Li? Umm…what are you-" questioned Randy as he sat back to stare at the redheaded diva.

A small smile curved her lips as Lita began to pull his t-shirt up and over his head. "I just want to be able to feel you, close to me. I just want to be in this moment, at this time, with you. I don't want to think about the past or the present or the future. I just want to be. Please understand that," Lita stated as she looked at Randy imploringly.

"I do. I understand completely," he said as he sat back and allowed her to pull the shirt up and over his head, Lita's hands coming to rest lightly against his now bare chest. She could feel his arousal pressing against her thigh; she knew he wanted to do so much more than simply kiss her. And yet, he didn't make any moves below her waist. Rather, he simply leaned forward again and continued to kiss her, entwining his tongue with hers, enjoying the feeling of her lips against his. Finally, he wrenched his lips from hers, their eyes locking for a moment. In those brief seconds, it was as if the world stopped – as if nothing existed except the two of them and that one moment.

As he stared down at the woman lying beneath him, Randy thought of how lucky he was to have had her come into his life. Sure, there was a lot of baggage, a lot of stress that came along with the relationship. However, in moments like this, when it was just the two of them with no interruptions or distractions – those were times to be savored. Everything that had happened earlier that day – all the fear, the worry, the panic he had felt when he had been called to that locker room, everything he knew Lita had felt when she was trapped, held against her will, terrified, seemed to fade away. He just wanted to be – in this moment, at this time – with her. As he continued to absently run his fingers through her hair, he knew, he just knew that –

"Randy? Are you okay? I kind of lost you there for a minute…" murmured Lita as she reached up and gently ran her fingertips down Randy's cheek. Turning his head, he laid a kiss on Lita's open palm, then immediately refocused his attention on the redheaded diva.

"You didn't lose me. You'll never lose me," he whispered as he bent his head, his lips meeting Lita's in a feather light kiss. "I-I don't know how or when or even why, but Li, somewhere along the way, I fell for you. I fell in love with you. And I know this might not be the best time to tell you that, especially after everything you've been through today, and you might not even feel the same way about me, or be ready to hear that, but I wanted you, no – I needed you – to know that…So yeah, I love you and I'll um, I'll just shut up now…" he muttered as he sat up on the edge of the bed, noticing that Lita had yet to say anything. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! She doesn't need this right now. Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? _He couldn't look at her – he had just risked his heart, finally gotten up the courage to tell her how he felt, and she hadn't said anything. _Way to make an ass out of yourself, man._

He felt the bed shift behind him, felt Lita wrap her arms around his waist and rest her cheek against his bare back. "I shouldn't have said anything. It's not the right time – it's…" said Randy as he unwrapped her arms from around him, standing up and moving to the other side of the room, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. Upon hearing Lita's quiet voice breaking the silence, he slowly turned to face her, to listen to what she was saying.

"I didn't think I could love someone again, trust someone again, until I met you. You make me feel whole again, like I don't have to be afraid all the time. I love you too Randy," whispered Lita as she watched a broad smile form on Randy's face.

Moving swiftly back over to the bed, Randy grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she was standing before him. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, hugging her against his chest, he lifted her off her feet, swinging her around, a laugh escaping as he gazed down at her. Lita returned his smile, a thought entering her head as she sighed and rested her head against his chest. Silence again engulfed the hotel room, until Lita finally spoke.

"Randy?" she murmured against his chest, as he continued to hold her.

"Mmmm?" asked Randy, not wanting to ruin the moment, simply wanting to revel in the knowledge that Lita loved him as well.

"Make love to me…"

A shocked expression crossed Randy's features "Are you sure? Is that what you really want?" he asked as he grazed his fingers gently down Lita's cheek. Lita closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his fingers on her skin. When she didn't answer, Randy ceased his movements and grasped her hands tightly in his. "Is this what you really want Li?"

Nodding her head, Lita stared into Randy's blue eyes.

"I need to hear you say the words Li. I need to know that this is truly what you want. I need to know because right now, right this second, before we go any further, I can stop and just be happy holding you. But not three minutes from now, not thirty seconds from now. I want you like hell on fire, but I don't want you to regret-"

"Anything that happens between us tonight? I could never regret a single moment of it," whispered Lita, as Randy carefully traced Lita's jaw line with his finger, sending shivers down her spine.

"Everything will be different now. You know that don't you?" Randy asked, just above a whisper.

"Promise?" asked Lita with questioning eyes. Randy smiled as he slowly began to unbutton her shirt. As he undid each button, he kissed the newly exposed flesh. His lips continued a fiery trail down her torso, as he kneeled down in front of the redheaded diva. When her shirt was completely unbuttoned, he reached up and gently pushed it away from her shoulders. He gazed with passion filled eyes at the white lace bra Lita wore. Grazing his fingers along her spine, his hands made their way up her back, and then back around, his fingertips just barely grazing the edges of her breasts. Randy brought his hands down to her waist once more and simply kneeled before her, transfixed by her beauty. After a moment, Lita became slightly uncomfortable with the way he was staring at her and moved to cover herself. Randy noticed the motion, and tenderly grasped her hands in his.

"No. Don't cover yourself. You're beautiful Lita. So beautiful." he whispered, running his thumbs in small circles against the palms of her hands. Lita's breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes – passion and lust and love all combined into one. Randy let go of her hands as he gently stroked his fingers up and down her arms. It was becoming harder for Lita to breath normally, and Randy hadn't even really touched her yet. But the look in his eyes, the way his hands adoringly caressed her body, how he was being so gentle – it was making her knees feel weak.

As Randy slowly slid his hands down to her hips, he began to softly kiss the exposed flesh directly above the waistline of Lita's jeans. Lita moaned lowly as she felt her skin beginning to flush with heat, began to feel the blood rushing through her body, began to feel again. Slowly, almost painfully slow, Randy unbuttoned her jeans and then pulled down the zipper. Lita closed her eyes as she felt Randy begin to push her jeans down her tanned legs. When her jeans finally pooled around her ankles, she carefully stepped out of them, standing before Randy in nothing but her bra and a pair of white lacy boycut shorts.

The trademark Randy Orton smirk appeared on his lips, as he stood up once more, his eyes following the curves her body. Lita gave him a small smile in return and placed her hands against his toned abs and then froze, as she bit her bottom lip and looked up at Randy. _It's not like I haven't done this before – but it's the first time with Randy, the first time being with a man after…well, after being…_

Noticing her hesitation, Randy hastened to reassure her. "Li…take your time. I know this isn't easy. Especially after everything that's happened. And if you want to stop, we'll stop. Is that what you want?"

"No," said Lita. "I want this. I want you. I guess I'm just nervous…"

"Take it slow. This night is about you and only you. I don't want to rush you into something you're not ready for…" Randy said as he placed her hands over his heart. Lita could feel it beating strong and reassuringly against her palms. Slowly, she began to run her fingers up Randy's chest, loving how strong he felt underneath her hands. Randy sucked in a breath as he felt her nails tracing his abs, making their way up to his shoulders, eventually dragging her fingernails down his back, while at the same time, softly beginning to kiss a path down his chest. Randy groaned and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her lips on his skin. As her hands reached the waistband of his track pants, Randy stilled her movements.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Lita, a look of concern crossing her exotic features. Randy chuckled lowly before capturing her lips in a brief kiss, pulling her towards him and running his fingers through her hair.

"No, baby. You could never do anything wrong. Tonight though? Let me love you, Li. I want to make love to you. I want you to feel pleasure again. I want you to feel the heat of our two bodies pressed together. For tonight Li – give up the control. Let me make you feel again."

Lita was amazed at how low and husky his voice sounded. She could feel his arousal pressing against her and, combined with his words, it became too much. Her knees would have buckled, if Randy hadn't chosen that moment to lift her carefully into his arms and place her in the middle of the bed. Her red hair spilled over the pillows as she watched Randy through half-closed eyes. Randy slowly crawled up the bed, until he was hovering directly above her. He braced his weight on his forearms, not wanting to crush her, as he once again lowered his mouth to hers. Lita immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to draw him closer. Randy responded by deepening the kiss, allowing his tongue to once again explore her mouth. When it finally became necessary to breath, Randy pulled away and stared down at the woman beneath him. Lita's lips were swollen from his kisses, her face was flushed, and her eyes were glazed over with passion and need.

Bowing his head again, Randy began to trace her collarbone with his tongue, licking and nipping a trail down to her breasts. Lita lifted up slightly as Randy reached underneath her to unclasp her bra. Pulling the offending piece of material away, he tossed it on the floor and smiled down at the beauty that lay below him. "I love you Li," he whispered.

"I-I love you too…" Lita drew in a sharp breath, as she felt Randy's lips on her breast. Randy gently nipped at Lita's tender flesh, causing her to whimper and arch her body into his touch. He smiled against her skin, enjoying the sounds Lita was making. He suckled her nipple, using his tongue and his teeth, until it was a rosy pink, standing out against Lita's tanned skin. Moving to her other breast, Randy began the same pattern of licking and nipping, while his hands traced the curves of her body. By this time, Lita was fairly writhing beneath him.

Lita could barely contain the moans and whimpers escaping her. She hadn't felt this kind of passion and need in such a long a time. And Randy had yet to truly touch the core of her desire. Yet, his lips felt like they were burning her skin, his voice whispering words only she could hear, his hands slowly tracing the lines of her body – it all was sending Lita into a torrent of ecstasy.

"Randy…I…please," moaned Lita as she felt Randy move off her body. Opening her eyes, she saw him kneeling between her legs, his hunger and desire for her clearly visible in his eyes. He placed his hands on her knees, then slowly and so gently it was hard to feel the caress, Randy began to move his hands up Lita's legs until he reached her inner thighs. Lita's eyes once again fluttered shut, her head falling back against the pillow, her arms moving down to tightly grasp the sheets as she began to once again writhe beneath him, unable to control her response, an anguished cry escaping her lips as Randy continued his journey.

"Shhh baby. I'm right here. Open your eyes – look at me Lita," Randy murmured. He smiled down at the diva as she slowly opened her eyes, attempting to focus through her passion-filled haze. "I'm gonna take care of you Li…just relax and enjoy what you're feeling," he whispered. His own erection was beginning to throb, but he was determined to make this night about her – and only her. Randy began drawing small circles on her thighs with just his fingertips. Lita gasped as she felt his fingertips gently graze her most sensitive area, yet he quickly continued on his journey, moving up her thighs and across her hips. Lita's moans were becoming more intense with each pass of his fingers across her sensitive skin. She felt him grasp her panties, beginning to lower them down her legs. Pulling her panties completely off, he tossed them over his shoulder, giving Lita a broad grin.

"Randy…Please…I need…" Lita whimpered, her head tossing from side to side.

"Let go, baby. Let it all go…" encouraged Randy as he continued to assault her senses using only his hands. Leaning forward, he began to once again lick and nip at her neck, yet his hands continued to trace delicate patterns on her flesh. Kissing up her jaw line, Randy captured her lips in a heart-stopping kiss. Lita moaned into his mouth and he could feel her trembling beneath him as her orgasm washed over her. Randy pulled back, resting his weight on his forearms, giving Lita time to catch her breath. Once she could breath normally again, she looked up at Randy and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down so she could lightly kiss his lips.

"That-that was amazing," she whispered as she played with the hairs on the back of his neck. Randy simply smiled as he pushed himself up and stood beside the bed.

Lita leaned up on her elbows as Randy pulled off his track pants, leaving him standing before her completely naked. Lita's breath caught in her throat as she viewed the man standing before her. She stared at his perfectly chiseled muscles, his strong legs, his wonderfully tan physique. Her gaze dropped and she involuntarily licked her lips as she saw Randy's member standing completely erect. Settling back into the mattress, Lita opened her arms, encouraging Randy to come lay with her again on the bed.

Only too happy to comply, Randy once again stretched out down the length of her body. Lita moaned as she felt his erection pushing against her thigh. Randy took that moment to capture her lips in a kiss, his tongue immediately entering her mouth. He groaned into her mouth as he felt Lita's tongue begin to seductively massage his own. Sliding his hands around her back, he quickly flipped them over so Lita was straddling his waist. A groan escaped through her parted lips and Lita threw her head back, gasping for air as Randy slowly rolled his hips, causing his erection to press more intimately against her. Lita placed her hands on his thighs, bracing herself as pleasure once again began to ripple through her. Her moans intensified as Randy continued to move his hips.

Randy was having a difficult time thinking straight. He had never met a woman who so entranced him, who he so badly wanted to please. His breathing was ragged, his free hand fisting the bed sheets as he felt his own release slowly beginning to build. He watched through clouded eyes as Lita began to match his movements, her hips grinding her sensitive flesh into his erection, a fine sheen of sweat soon covering both their bodies.

"Tell me what you want, Li," Randy gasped as he stilled his motion, grasping her hips in both his hands to stop her movement.

"Tell me what you want," he repeated when he got no response. Lita attempted to focus, attempted to answer his question.

"I want…" her words caught, as Randy slowly moved his hips, causing a jolt of pleasure to course through her body. "I want you – touching me…inside me…" Lita trailed off as Randy gently lifted her and brought her slowly down on his erection. She moaned as she felt Randy completely fill her. Randy gasped as he felt her slick heat surrounding him. Placing his hands on her hips, he began to move her in a pace that he knew would be pleasurable for both of them, their moans soon filling the hotel room. As Lita's movements became more erratic, more uncontrolled, Randy knew she was close to release and his hand reached down between her thighs. Finding what he was looking for, Randy began to stroke her clit, his fingers matching the rhythm of his hips as they thrust up into her.

As Lita's muscles began to contract around him, Randy quickly flipped them over so Lita was once again lying underneath him. Before she had a moment to catch her breath from her second orgasm, Randy began to quickly thrust into her. Lita's eyes rolled up into her head, her arms clasped tightly around Randy's neck, her legs wrapped around his waist. Never had she felt such intense passion and as she once again began to quake uncontrollably, she felt Randy began to tremble above her, heard him call her name, before he brought his lips crashing against hers as his own release flooded through him.

Rolling to the side so as not to crush her, Randy pulled her against him, Lita resting her head against his chest, her hand lying over his rapidly beating heart. Both lay quietly for a time, as they attempted to catch their breath. Finally, Lita leaned up on her elbow, dragging her finger along Randy's jaw line.

"Thank you…" she whispered, as she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before once again resting her head on his chest.

Randy simply smiled down at the woman he held in his arms. As he felt her breathing coming more even, he knew she had fallen asleep. Carefully reaching down, he pulled the sheet more tightly around them, closing his eyes.

There were still things that needed to be done – he knew he had to explain to Dave how he had become involved with the redhead, knew Lita needed to sit down with Trish and Stacy and talk about all that had happened, knew there would probably be a trial and Lita would once again have to face her attacker, knew there might still be nightmares, endless worries and uncertainty. But for now, as he felt Lita stir beside him, pressing herself more firmly against him and unconsciously entwining her hand with his, Randy knew all those things could wait. For now, he could just be – with her, in this moment. He could let the world come to a stop around him and just enjoy holding close the woman he loved. Tomorrow could wait. Of this he was sure.

**Okay – so I've never written a chapter like this before. I hope you all enjoyed it. This story is almost done. One more chapter to go! Thanks for all the reviews. I'm amazed at the response this story has gotten. It's absolutely great. Once again, please read and review. **


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